My Little Pony Friendship is Magic Article: Scootaloo's Following Fear ch.2

2

posted by Dragon4322

the window

I stood near my sister while her wings hugged me close. ,"Rainbow Dash...i'm scared". I told her with a look of sadness and loss of hope. ,"Its ok Scoots" she told me. At that moment the pony opened the door and said with that creepy voice ,"come here". My sister and i both ran upstairs to her bedroom and locked the door, I sat on the bed with shock and fear in my mind. ,"How did that get in our house?!" my sister asked me but i was too scared to tell her the truth. At this moment the pony was already at the bedroom door and was yelling ,"LET ME IN NOW!".

Dash escaped through the window carrying me until we both standing on flat ground. ,"Scootaloo what happened?!" now Rainbow was angry that i wasn't telling her the truth. ,"Dash...I went to go look inside that haunted house you told me about" I said this to her with tears running down my face. RD was shocked by me telling her this. she sighed and replied ,"Scootaloo I didn't tell you that story so that you would go looking for the house". we walked to Twilight's house and at this time it was the middle of the night.

"already at the bedroom door"

tailsfan111 and NocturnalMirage like this

Seanthehedgehog So exciting

Canada24 Still good.. But still a bit bland too.. As I said before try give more details. And explain WHY it's scary. Not just say it is.. In my horrors, I give hek amount of details to scary faces and stuff And as I said. I don't SAY these things.. I've been a writer for nearly two years. And I know what I'm talking about for such things..

applejackrocks1 sweet

NocturnalMirage I like where this goes so far, but have to admit, I do agree with Canada24 on some aspects of the story. It couldn't hurt to unfold the premise a little more, in effort to establish the certain atmospehere you're going for. Anyways, I'll definitely keep track of your story.