Meanwhile, on the train
Bartholomew: *sees passenger*
Passenger: *looking at map of Equestria* Hey, dude. Do you know how long it would take to get from Germany to my place if I was driving?
Barthololmew: (Not this again.) Perhaps you should try looking at an actual world map instead of that peice of trash l:(
Passenger: Who asked you? Fine, if you're gonna be like that, I'll use my smartphone, and it'll tell me how to get there, and how long it will take.
Bartholomew: I hate my life *jumps out train*
Passenger: *looks up directions* What's his problem? *continues looking* WHHHATTT?!?!
Passenger 2: Be quiet! We're watching the scenery!
Passenger: I gotta swim across the atlantic ocean!! Fuck your scenery!
Passenger 2: *looks at smartphone* Now I see why the conductor jumped out of the train. *jumps out of train*
Meawhile, near the tracks
Bartholomew: *sees passenger land on hooves* Are you alright?
Passenger 2: Yeah. I just saw somepony using a smartphone!!
Bartholomew: We can't use those in 1951. Yet he, and another worker on this railroad I know did it!
Passenger 2: Do you suppose they were looking up the same thing?
Bartholomew: Yes, they actually were.
Passenger 2: Why?
Bartholomew: Not sure.
90 minutes later at Denver's train station
Hawkeye: *stops at station*
Coffee Creme: *looks back* Wait a minute, where's Bartholomew?
Hawkeye: What do you mean? He's in the tr- *looks back* He's gone.
Coffee Creme: We gotta find him *climbs out engine*
Hawkeye: I gotta stay here!
Coffee Creme: Did you see the conductor?
Passenger: Did you see a plane to Neigh York?
Coffee Creme: No?
Passenger: Then I can't help you (God I can't believe I have to swin across the atlantic ocean!)
Passenger 3: Excuse me, miss? Did you say you were looking for your conductor?
Coffee Creme: Yes. You saw him?
Passenger 3: He jumped out the train. That passenger you were just talking to was using some futuristic machine, and annoyed the conductor, and another passenger.
Coffee Creme: Oh no
Back at Cheyenne
Pete: So you don't feel like you can be a conductor right?
Bartholomew: N-n-no sir, I don't.
Pete: Well, you can work in the yards if you'd like.
Bartholomew: Sure.
Snowflake: Big mistake!
Bartholomew: Why?
Pete: Ah, she's just teasing. Gordon worked in the yards last year, and he had a tough time.
Bartholomew: Where is Gordon anyway?
Gordon: *swimming in atlantic ocean* I should be close soon. *looks up* LAND!!! *swims toward land*
Nearby was a runway in an airport
Runway pony: Land!
Pilot: *about to land*
Gordon: Am I in Germany?!
Runway pony: No, this is Jersey City.
Pilot: *crashes into building*
Gordon: Oh.
Meanwhile in the train yard at Cheyenne.
Red Rose: Orion, a little faster please.
Orion: *pushes freight cars a little faster*
Bartholomew: I don't see why Gordon hated this. *uncouples freight cars*
Red Rose: Be careful Bartholomew, there's a tank car with chemicals coming toward you. Uncouple it from the rest of the train.
Bartholomew: Ok
Orion: *pushes chemical car past Bartholomew*
Bartholomew: Hey wait!! *runs past chemical car*
Orion: *stops*
Bartholomew: *uncouples tank car*
The tank car started rolling, but Bartholomew's hoof somehow got stuck on the ladder*
Bartholomew: AHH! HELP!!!
Red Rose: What?
Orion: The?
Bartholomew: FUCK!! *nearly hits signal*
Orion: I hope he doesn't get hurt
Bartholomew: *grabs gun*
Red Rose: Why does he have that?
Bartholomew: *shoots ladder* I got to get free *shoots ladder*
Orion: Look out for the box car next to your tank car
Bartholomew: AH *hits box car, and falls off tank car* I'M OK!! Leave me here so I can rest my broken bones!!
The End
On The Next Episode Of Ponies On The Rails
Gordon shows you how he got a smartphone in 1951
Bartholomew: *sees passenger*
Passenger: *looking at map of Equestria* Hey, dude. Do you know how long it would take to get from Germany to my place if I was driving?
Barthololmew: (Not this again.) Perhaps you should try looking at an actual world map instead of that peice of trash l:(
Passenger: Who asked you? Fine, if you're gonna be like that, I'll use my smartphone, and it'll tell me how to get there, and how long it will take.
Bartholomew: I hate my life *jumps out train*
Passenger: *looks up directions* What's his problem? *continues looking* WHHHATTT?!?!
Passenger 2: Be quiet! We're watching the scenery!
Passenger: I gotta swim across the atlantic ocean!! Fuck your scenery!
Passenger 2: *looks at smartphone* Now I see why the conductor jumped out of the train. *jumps out of train*
Meawhile, near the tracks
Bartholomew: *sees passenger land on hooves* Are you alright?
Passenger 2: Yeah. I just saw somepony using a smartphone!!
Bartholomew: We can't use those in 1951. Yet he, and another worker on this railroad I know did it!
Passenger 2: Do you suppose they were looking up the same thing?
Bartholomew: Yes, they actually were.
Passenger 2: Why?
Bartholomew: Not sure.
90 minutes later at Denver's train station
Hawkeye: *stops at station*
Coffee Creme: *looks back* Wait a minute, where's Bartholomew?
Hawkeye: What do you mean? He's in the tr- *looks back* He's gone.
Coffee Creme: We gotta find him *climbs out engine*
Hawkeye: I gotta stay here!
Coffee Creme: Did you see the conductor?
Passenger: Did you see a plane to Neigh York?
Coffee Creme: No?
Passenger: Then I can't help you (God I can't believe I have to swin across the atlantic ocean!)
Passenger 3: Excuse me, miss? Did you say you were looking for your conductor?
Coffee Creme: Yes. You saw him?
Passenger 3: He jumped out the train. That passenger you were just talking to was using some futuristic machine, and annoyed the conductor, and another passenger.
Coffee Creme: Oh no
Back at Cheyenne
Pete: So you don't feel like you can be a conductor right?
Bartholomew: N-n-no sir, I don't.
Pete: Well, you can work in the yards if you'd like.
Bartholomew: Sure.
Snowflake: Big mistake!
Bartholomew: Why?
Pete: Ah, she's just teasing. Gordon worked in the yards last year, and he had a tough time.
Bartholomew: Where is Gordon anyway?
Gordon: *swimming in atlantic ocean* I should be close soon. *looks up* LAND!!! *swims toward land*
Nearby was a runway in an airport
Runway pony: Land!
Pilot: *about to land*
Gordon: Am I in Germany?!
Runway pony: No, this is Jersey City.
Pilot: *crashes into building*
Gordon: Oh.
Meanwhile in the train yard at Cheyenne.
Red Rose: Orion, a little faster please.
Orion: *pushes freight cars a little faster*
Bartholomew: I don't see why Gordon hated this. *uncouples freight cars*
Red Rose: Be careful Bartholomew, there's a tank car with chemicals coming toward you. Uncouple it from the rest of the train.
Bartholomew: Ok
Orion: *pushes chemical car past Bartholomew*
Bartholomew: Hey wait!! *runs past chemical car*
Orion: *stops*
Bartholomew: *uncouples tank car*
The tank car started rolling, but Bartholomew's hoof somehow got stuck on the ladder*
Bartholomew: AHH! HELP!!!
Red Rose: What?
Orion: The?
Bartholomew: FUCK!! *nearly hits signal*
Orion: I hope he doesn't get hurt
Bartholomew: *grabs gun*
Red Rose: Why does he have that?
Bartholomew: *shoots ladder* I got to get free *shoots ladder*
Orion: Look out for the box car next to your tank car
Bartholomew: AH *hits box car, and falls off tank car* I'M OK!! Leave me here so I can rest my broken bones!!
The End
On The Next Episode Of Ponies On The Rails
Gordon shows you how he got a smartphone in 1951
