Worst: Not being able to sleep, feeling down when nothing bad has happened. When I scream my head off at people for no good reason. When I broke a skateboard when I was mad. When I unknowingly stole someone's best friend, only to have the whole school turn against because he wanted revenge. When I realize I have to apologize. When I stab people with pens or rub them against brick walls because they won't leave me alone. When I don't talk to anyone because of social awkwardness. When mom makes us clean the house. When my parents divorced. When my younger brother was diagnosed with autism. When I pretended to get sick at school everyday just so I could get home and figure out why our family was falling apart. Peaking around the door frame down the hall to see my parents fighting over who knows what. Living in an apartment for six years when we should have moved four years ago.
Best: Writing, art, listening to music. When I realized that a divorced family wasn't the end of the world. Being with my family, going to church, watching a movie fifty times in row. Forcing your friends to stay up till 2 am to watch a movie by shaking them and saying "this is the good part, wake up!" and having them growl, "EVERY part is the good part!". Arguing whether or not putting human meat in a taco is illegal. Embarrassing my cousin by screaming "what time is it?" "ADDDVEENNTURE TIME!" in the middle of crowded parking lots. Singing in the shower. Yelling at people at school about soup cans without offering any explanation. Being home schooled. Finishing a chapter of my story. Going hiking. Driving for the first time with your little brother ranting hysterically in the back seat about how his 11 year old life is flashing before his eyes. Looking at hedgehogs. Reading Howl's Moving Castle. Dancing barefoot in the rain. Climbing trees. Discussing theories of the universe. Not caring when the world will end. Taking a breath, taking a step. Winning an argument by using my younger brothers in depth knowledge of artillery to my advantage. When my dad crashes a motor boat on the edge of the bayou on purpose without warning us, and Lyd and I topple over and land on top of each other. When my brother beat all the odds of recovery and became "autism free". Long car rides. When Lyd is so hyper she hits me in the face three times in row. When Cam drinks three sodas and is so overwhelmed with sugar she looks like she's drunk. Writing poetry. When I cry my eyes out and have Cam make me laugh to get me to snap out of it. When Brock Almost sets his house on fire with his experiments or when he nearly burns down his neighbors house with fireworks.
Good and bad is part of life. The trick is to focus on the good things. Go forward and don't look back. Just take the next step. :)
