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BabyBlud said:
I'm so sorry your friend has the dreaded big C. I know what you're going through so here's the advice i can give you -
Remain acting normally around him. It will make him feel as though you are supporting him as well as believing he will get better. If everyone keeps crying around him and asking if there's anything 'special' he wants to do, then he's going to think you believe he will die and his fighting spirit will lower, so remain cheerful and supportive.
Try to mask your feelings but be honest - when my grandfather had cancer he changed over night and it was so painful to watch. This friend of yours, once he starts his treatments, will develop mood swings, lose weight drastically and become very withdrawn and pale. He will become like a ghost and the worst thing for him is to see the horror on your face. Of course you're going to be shocked and upset, but try to hide that in your face and reamin cheerful. if he asks you how he looks be as honest as you dare. He's going to know he looks like hell, but he doesn't want you to say it so instead of going 'omg you look terrible like you're death warmed up' say ' a little pale and tired, but other then that the same old jokey guy' (if he jokes of course).
As well as the fundraiser (which i think is an excellent idea) and i know this may seem a little prudent, but as they are on a low income fresh fruit and veg may be in short supply in their home, and nothing can give you better energy and a better chance to live then fresh fruit and veg. Ask people to provide for a fresh food drive, even if they only give potatoes out of the bag they get from the grocery store it's still something. Your friend may not be up to eating much, in fact he'll probably only eat a few mouthfulls each day, but it's still worth it. Even if your friend isn't eating, his mother will need all the healthy help she can get. She will be worried sick about him, wondering what she did wrong etc, and the worst thing anyone who has someone dependant on them to do is forfiet their health and become ill themselves. You need to let her know you support her as well as her son. She'll be grateful for it.
Offer to help out - looking after her son, or coming round every day for ten minutes to hoover up and dust down the shelves will be greatly appreciated. When people get sick everyone worries about the sick person, and what they can do for them (which rightly so they should) but nobody thinks about their family, finances, their home life. Your friends mother will be too busy working and caring for her son to remember to clean the kitchen every once in a while, so popping in to clean a little would be great.
Taking her son out of walks/drives, even if only to the end of the street. Fresh air will do him good, give him some more energy inside, even if on the outside he says he's tired. Look at comments below for more of the answer
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