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posted by princesslullaby
Beast x Rose
Beast paced back and forth in the West Wing, the padding on his feet shooting up little plumes of dust as he walked. Cogsworth had tried to console him about the beautiful girl that wanted nothing to do with him, but Beast couldn't tell Cogsworth that wasn't what he was concerned about. Ten years as a Beast, and he had stopped loving women, and knew he could never love this girl. Or any person, for that matter. Every night he had spent curled up with his rose, mourning over his beastly nature. And the rose had been there, silently comforting him, glowing with love. And at some point, Beast knew he had fallen in love with his rose. He stopped pacing and gazed at the flower, eyes glazing over. "Rosey...what am I going to do? The only way I can become human again is if I fall in love with this girl." The Beast explained, throwing his paws up in the air. The rose said nothing, as usual. "But I can't fall in love with her when I'm so in love with you." He said, delicately stroking one petal. The rose said nothing. "How can I love her, she's never been here to make me feel better. Only you." He said, drool hanging out of his mouth and eyes glowing slightly cross eyed. He tickled the rose's stem affectionately. "You're so cute when you're shy!" The rose said nothing. "You tease!" said the Beast. "Are you mad? Don't be jealous, I'll never leave you for that girl." The rose said nothing. "Please, say something, don't be mad at me!!!" The Beast pleaded, but the rose continued to ignore him. "I'll just give you a kiss and make it all better!" and he gently kissed one thorn. He then whipped out his dick and began to ejaculate on the rose. "Watering time! You look thirsty!" The rose said nothing.

Beast x Chi Fu
Chi Fu rolled his eyes at the Beast as they entered the tent that was secluded far from the other soldiers. Beast had been incredibly difficult during training, screaming and yelling at all the other soldiers and then suddenly moping. He also had this weird rose fetish that he kept talking about. Shang had asked Chi-Fu to pull Beast aside and lecture him. "Now listen here, you neanderthal." Chi Fu
said, the ends of his mustache twitching. "You are to behave from this point onward!" Beast scowled and roared. "But I don't wanna!" he whined. "This is only daaaaaaaaaaay 1. (lol) " said Chi-Fu. "If you don't behave now I'll have to stamp it into that thick, ugly head of yours!" his voice getting high pitched at the end. The beast's face suddenly twisted into a wicked grin. "How about I teach you a lesson, you hot asian twig?" He suddenly jumped at Chi Fu, pinning him to the ground. Chi Fu screamed, "EEEEEEE! Shaaaaang! somebody! help me!" But no one could hear. "This is a lesson you'll never forget" said the Beast, as he used his claws to rip off Chi Fu's clothes, exposing a skinny body. "Ha! I could eat you in one second. But I have something better in mind." He reached down and grabbed hold of Chi Fu's nipples. Without warning, he gave them a twist. "EEEEEEEEE!" screamed Chi Fu, as Beast twisted his nipples so hard they turned purple. The ends of Chi Fu's mustache curled all the way up to his lips. "Yeah, you like that don't you!!" said the Beast. He pulled Chi Fu's nipples out so long that he was able to tie them together. "Oooh, this is hot!" said the Beast, and he whipped out his cock and came all over Chi Fu. Suddenly Shang came in, and his mouth dropped. "WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?" said Shang. Beast looked at Shang, ready to be reprimanded. "...and how come I wasn't included?" (end)

Prince x Shang
Prince wanted to run for his life. He was scared shitless as an Asian man pinned him to the ground, strattling on top of him. Both men were covered with sweat. Shang grinned sadistically as he stripped off Prince's clothes, then bent down close to Prince. "I will make a man out of you..." he whispered huskily.
The Prince gulped, scared for his life. Shang then grabbed his sword, unsheathed it (or however you say that), and grinned evilly. "Sing for me, now..." he grinned an evil, toothy grin.
"O-o-one song..." the prince shook terribly.
"NO. SING FOR ME LOUDER, NAO." He shoved his sword tip into Prince's asshole, and Prince shrilled with pain. It made several female birds in the air have orgasms in the air. "GGGGGAAAAAHHHH ONE SONG..."
added by shiriny
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added by McDreamyluva
posted by LOLerz25
The Shit List
The Shit List
(Taken from 1069@urbandictionary.com)

**The Ghost Shit**
-The kind where you feel shit come out, see shit on the toilet paper, but there's no shit in the bowl.

**The Clean Shit**
-The kind where you feel shit come out, see shit in the bowl, but there's no shit on the toilet paper.

**The Wet Shit**
-You wipe your ass fifty times and it still feels unwiped. So you end up putting toilet paper between your ass and your underwear so you don't ruin them with those dreadful skid marks.

**The Second Wave Shit**
-This shit happens when you've finished, your pants are up to your knees, and you suddenly realize...
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added by ace2000
added by australia-101
added by ace2000
added by 0YouCanFly0
added by sexyomega
added by 3xZ
posted by misscrazel
I am the boy who never finished high school because I got called a fag everyday.
I am the girl who was kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother I was a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because no one will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who held her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled night.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in a hospital because they would not let my partner of 27 years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away...
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added by tanyya
added by Cerudays
Meanwhile, at the Tokyo Stock Exchange...
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OMG .__. YES
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It sucks, I know. I'm just bored AF and decided to post it.
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Ryan Higa :P
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