The most random thing ever made - me and my friend talking on facebook chat. Brace yourself for an undescribable dose of epicness.

H - Hattress
E - Her Friend Emily

H: Why do you call me and not say anything?
Second time in a row?

E: When did I call you?
Probably my sister was playing.

H: That explains a lot.
Many people call me by accident because I'm first on their contacts list. (my name starts with a)

E: Was she singing "Hallelujah"?

H: Nope.
There were only some creaks
and kind of a distant scream
I thought that maybe you're being murdered.

E: Because we've got a torture chamber in our basement, but don't worry.

H: Ok.

E: I was talking with Alex through Skype

H: And?

E: Well, she was eating a Satino pudding and Maria was sitting next to her because it was her account and she wanted to see everything and then her father went in and I hid behind the webcam then Alex went away she said she'll be back soon and Maria got disconnected and that's the end.

H: A fascinating conversation, milady.
I find your point of view on the cat's case truly curious.

E: Oh yeah, they were trying to force Elvis (the cat) to speak.
That was terrible.
They will torment him to death.

H: poor Elvis

E: Hey, isn't he already dead?

H: How come?
Elvis lives!

E: I bet the cat's his incarnation.

H: That's for sure.

E: I think they force him to sing everyday when he thought he'd finally find peace as a cat.

H: Cause us human beings are like parasites
We'll even force a cat to sing.

E: Hey, didn't they want to castrate him?!

H: They did
But I'm planning to castrate my cat as well
It's... natural

E: But he's ELVIS

H: But they may not realise their cat's true identity

E: Who cares you can't just go and castrate an ex-human being
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!