There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere ?
‘Hold my purse.’

Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don’t generate a lot of interest.

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.

If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets.

Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you’ll be disconnected!

I’m very brave generally, he went on in a low voice: “Only today I happen to have a headache.”

I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don’t know the answer.

We are all born mad. Some remain so.

Whenever I’m caught between two evils, I take the one I’ve never tried.

Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.

There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance ?



I did not write this