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posted by Fangirl99
She looked like she was gonna die again

"izzy!"i yelled."what is wrong with you?"

"whats wrong with me?!im not the one on drugs!"

"im not!"

"oh."

"i told you!"


"well,im not the one who says that we are going to texas."

"we are!"i yelled

"jamie,get back into reality."your not going to texas."


"yeah,i am!"

"well,just exactly how are you gonna get there?"

" woh, i thought. i shouldve thought of that.

"well,"i began."we can take a plane?"

" we? " she asked."im not going anywhere. i mean,how do you know shes in texas?"

"we dont,"i said."thats why we are going.to find out."

"i dont wanna!" she left the room,and left the house.

i wasnt gonna go without her.
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the mean kitty
sparta
loki
added by AdaLove
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
Arthur is 90 years old. He's played golf every day since his retirement 25 years ago. One day he arrives home looking downcast. "That's it," he tells his wife. "I'm giving up golf. My eyesight has become so bad that once I hit the ball I couldn't see where it went."

His wife sympathises and makes him a cup of tea. As they sit down she says, "Why don't you take my brother with you and give it one more try."

"That's no good" sighs Arthur, "your brother's a hundred and three. He can't help."

"He may be a hundred and three", says the wife, "but his eyesight is perfect."

So the next day Arthur heads off to the golf course with his brother-in-law. He tees up, takes a mighty swing and squints down the fairway.

He turns to the brother-in-law and says, "Did you see the ball?"

"Of course I did!" replied the brother-in-law. "I have perfect eyesight".

"Where did it go?" says Arthur.

"I don't remember."
posted by Mallory101
1. Smoke jimson weed. Do whatever comes naturally.
2. Switch the sheets on your beds while s/he is at class.
3. Twitch a lot.
4. Talk while pretending to be asleep.
5. Steal a fishtank. Fill it with beer and dump sardines in it. Talk to them.
6. Become a subgenius.
7. Inject his/her Twinkies with a mixture of Dexatrim and MSG.
8. Learn to levitate. While your roommate is looking away, float up out of your seat. When s/he turns to look, fall back down and grin.
9. Speak in tongues.
10. Move your roommate's personal effects around. Start subtly. Gradually work up to big things, and eventually...
continue reading...
added by Rodz
Source: wallcoo.net
added by Rodz
Source: wallcoo.net
added by Rodz
Source: desktopnexus
added by Rodz
Source: desktopnexus
1. You can do whatever you damn well please.

2. Shave your legs and the razor is never dull from his face.

3. Not only is your razor not dull, who needs to shave at all now?

4. You can leave bra and other unmentionables in view.

5. You can slump around the house in any old thing.

6. You don't having to think about birth control, calendars or ovulation. Mother Nature can visit whenever she likes.

7. You can go out and flirt as much as your heart desires, without a worry in the world.

8. The toilet seat issue -- need I say more?

9. Free drinks at bars! Men seem to know when you're single and tend to...
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Dress up like one of the photographers and follow people around asking them repeatedly if they would like their picture taken.
Leave large gaps in between you and the people in front of you while waiting in line.
Every time you pass a chain restraint not in use, clip it on and use it to hold back the people behind you in line.
Ask the person running the roller coaster if someone has recently thrown up on it.
Pretend to freak out on a ride so they stop it to let you off.
Offer people money for their spots in line . . . Monopoly money.
Speak in Spanish, or pretend you're deaf and start making rapid...
continue reading...
I am pondering this question, it is a very difficult one to figure out. I can not seem to think of anything to make an articles on....

2 Hours Later

Wait I think I have an idea coming on... nope I lost it... wait no I found it again... What if I write an article about reasons why you should do pointe
1. you get to be taller
2. you can use them in self defense
3. you can... what you don't think that's a good idea... oh well back to the drawing board...

1 Hour Later

Ok what about this... What happened when I invested in Eyepatches... hmmm titles to long how about My Eyepatch Investment.... sounds good......
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posted by ShadowFlame
THINK YOU'RE HAVING A BAD DAY. Check out these actual cases:

Fire authorities in California found a corpse in a burned-out section
of forest while assessing the damage done by a forest fire. The deceased
male was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with scuba tanks on his
back, flippers, and face mask.

A postmortem test revealed that the man died not from burns, but from
massive internal injuries. Dental records provided a positive
identification. Investigators then set about to determine how a fully
clothed diver ended up in the middle of a forest fire.

It was revealed that on the day of the...
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added by Rodz
Source: desktopnexus
added by Rodz
Source: flash-screen.com
added by SylarNight
Source: made by SylarNight
added by akatsuki_otaku
posted by McDreamyluva
LOLs!!

HE: I'm a photographer I've been looking for a face like yours!
SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours

HE: May I have the pleasure of this dance?
SHE: No, I'd like to have some pleasure too !

HE: How did you get to be so beautiful?
SHE: I must have been given your share !

HE: Will you come out with me this Saturday?
SHE: Sorry! I'm having a headache this weekend !

HE: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out!
SHE: Okay, get out!

HE: I think I could make you very happy
SHE: Why? Are you leaving?

HE: What would you say if I asked u to marry me?
SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh...
continue reading...
posted by ilovepenguins
1) If love is blind, then why is there lingerie?
2) Why are they called "apartments" if they are all connected?
3) Should you believe a chronic liar if he admits that he is a chronic liar?
4) Did Adam and Eve have bellybuttons?
5) Why is it that dogs love to hang their head out of the car window, but will get mad at you if you blow in their face?
6) If all the world is a stage, where is the audience?
7) If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is there to hear it, does it still make a sound?
8) If pro is the opposite of con, then wouldn't congress be the opposite of progress?
9) If the Pentagon were...
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•    A few clowns short of a circus

•    A few fries short of a Happy Meal

•    A few beers short of a six-pack

•    Dumber than a box of hair

•    A few peas short of a casserole

•    Doesn't have all his cornflakes in one box

•    The wheel's spinning but the hamster's dead

•    One Froot Loop shy of a full bowl

•    A few feathers short of a whole duck

•    All foam, no beer...
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
•    Vary your vehicle’s speed inversely with the speed limit.

•    Roll down your windows and blast talk radio. Attempt to head bang.

•    At stop lights, eye the person in the next car suspiciously. With a look of fear, lock your doors.

•    Two words: Chicken suit.

•    Write the words “Help me” on your back window in red paint. The more it looks like blood, the better.

•    Stop at the green lights.

•    Go at the red ones.

•    Occasionally...
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