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Top 10 Dumb Blonde Jokes (No ofense to any blondes)

List by frosti529 posted over a year ago
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10 Question: If a blonde and a brunette fell off a building, who would hit the ground first?
Answer: The brunette - the blonde would have to stop for directions!


9 The assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve.

"Six please" she said, "I could never eat twelve!"


8 A blonde was walking down the road with a healthy looking pig under her arm. As she passed the bus stop, someone asked,

"Where did you get that?"

The pig replied,

"I won her in a raffle!"


7 A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a new blonde girl painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket.

Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall.

She showed him the instructions on the tin,

"For best results, put on two coats".


6 Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger.
First Blonde:

"I can't seem to get this door unlocked!

Second Blonde:

Well you better hurry up. It's starting to rain and the top is down!


5 Three blondes were walking through a field when they came across a set of tracks.

The first blonde looked down at the tracks and said,

"I think they could be bird tracks."

The second blonde went to look and said,

"No, I think these are deer tracks."

They stepped aside and the third blonde went over to the tracks. She looked down, then got run over by the train!


4 A blonde asked someone what time it was, and they told her it was 4:45. The blonde, with a puzzled look on her face replied,

"You know, it's the weirdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer."


3 A blonde was driving down the road listening to the radio and was quite upset when she heard blonde joke after blonde joke. A little way down the road, she saw another blonde out in a field rowing a boat. The blonde stopped her car and angrily jumped out yelling,

"You dumb blonde bimbo! It's blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name! If I could swim I'd come out there and give you what's coming to you!"


2 A blonde and a redhead went to the bar after work for a drink, and sat on stools watching the 6 O'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge, and the blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump.

Sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead $50. The redhead said,

"I can't take this, you're my friend."

But the blonde insisted saying,

"No. A bet's a bet."

Then the redhead said

"Listen, I have to tell you that I saw this on the 5 O'clock news, so I can't take your money."

The blonde replied

"Well, so did I, but I didn't think he would jump again!"


1 A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette.

When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country.

After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and thought,

"Oh! Those sheep are so adorable!"

She got out and walked over to the farmer and said,

"If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one home?"

The farmer, being a bit of a gambler himself, said she could have a try.

The blonde looked at the flock and guessed, "157."

The farmer was amazed - she was right! So the blonde, (who looked like a brunette), picked one out and got back into her car.

Before she left, farmer walked up to her and said.

"If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?"
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48 comments

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Monrose said:
Haha, #1 is my fav.
posted over a year ago.
 
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shomill said:
Yeah, #1's good.

And, no offense taken- for instance, I guessed how #5 would end as soon as they mentioned the tracks. (Not all of us are dumb!)
posted over a year ago.
 
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laugh
dumb blondes have that name for a reason
lol
posted over a year ago.
 
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laugh
lol funny XD I love those XDD
posted over a year ago.
 
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laugh
Brilliant.
#1 is my fav too!!
Lol!! I love these (no offense to blondes)
posted over a year ago.
 
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monkey
Oh man!
These are so funny haha! #1 is hilarious hehe.
and again like others have said...no offense to blondes!
posted over a year ago.
 
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hahahah!!!!i love these!!
i lie #2.. !!!!
my god!..
posted over a year ago.
 
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goodgirl1 said:
hahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahaaha­hah­aah­aha­hah­aha­hah­aha­hah­aha­hah­aha­hah­aha­hah­aha­hah­aha­hah­aha­hah­aha­hah­aha­hah­hah­aha­hah­aha­hah­aha­hah­aha­hah­aha­hah­aha­hah­ahh­aha­hah­ahh­aah­hah­aha­hah­aha­hah­aha­hah­aha­hah­aha­hah­aha­hah­aha­hah­aha­hah­aha­hah­aha­hah­aha­hah­hah­aha­hha­hah­hah­ahh­ahh­aha­hah­aha­hah­aha­hah­aha­hah­aha­hah­aha­hah­aha­hah­aha­hah­aha­hah­aha­hah­aha­hah­aha­hah­aha­hha­hah­hah­aha­hha­hah­aha­hah­aha­hah­aha­hah­aha­hah­aha­hah­aha­hah­aha­hah­aha­hah­aha­hah­aha­hah­aha­hah­aha­hha­hah­aha­hah­aha­aha­hah­aha­hah­aha­hah­aha­hah­aha­hah­ahh­aha­hah­aha­hah­aha­hah­aha­ha.­...­...­.!!­!!!­!!!
posted over a year ago.
 
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heart
hahahahahah!!! omgoshh to be honest im blonde and ive done a few of them before lol:D
posted over a year ago.
 
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I have one! Well, this is a blonde guy joke.....

An Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.

They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building."

The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too."

The blonde opened his lunch and said, "Bologna again! If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too."

The next day, the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage, and jumped to his death.

The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito, and jumped, too.

The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the bologna and jumped to his death as well.

At the funeral, the Irishman's wife was weeping uncontrollably then she lifted her head & shouted, "If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!"

The Mexican's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much."

Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife. The blonde's wife said,


"Don't look at me. He makes his own lunch."
posted over a year ago.
last edited over a year ago
 
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frosti529 said:
LMFAO LOVE THE JOKE!!!
posted over a year ago.
 
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smile
I like 3 & 6.
posted over a year ago.
 
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laugh
THAT IS SOO STERRIO TYPE PUT FUNNY THE PIZZA JOKE CRAKED MEE UPP
posted over a year ago.
 
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3nala said:
The lunch one in the comments and the last one on the actual article was really funny!!!ROFL
posted over a year ago.
 
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tiibml said:
These are so funny!
posted over a year ago.
 
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big smile
I love blonde jokes! Is there a fan club?
posted over a year ago.
 
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carsfan said:
LMFAO! XDDD OMG! SO HILARIOUS! I LOVE THESE!
posted over a year ago.
 
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I'm dark blonde.

And this is one of the funniest things I ever read!!!

1, 2, 3, and 4 were my favorites.
posted over a year ago.
 
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big smile
just shew these jokes to my dad he couldnt stop laughing! lol
posted over a year ago.
 
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laugh
these r sssoooo hilarious!!!!! i dont get #10 though
posted over a year ago.
 
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dooodle said:
I AM NOT DUMB!!!!!! Just insane. xD
No offense taken. ;)
Half of these are really good.
posted over a year ago.
 
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animelol said:
#1 is hilarious!
posted over a year ago.
 
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laugh
i like 7,6,and 2
posted over a year ago.
 
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I overheard this one from my classmates.

Q:How does a blonde kill a bird?
A:She throws it off a cliff.
posted over a year ago.
 
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big smile
THIS IS FUCKING HIILARIOUS! (sorry for my language) # 1 my fav!
posted over a year ago.
 
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laugh
Haha! Awesome! I got a couple. Not sure if anyone heard.....


Once, a blonde went to a store. She saw a television set, and asked the clerk how much it would cost.

"Sorry, I don't sell to blondes," he said.

The blonde went home and dyed her hair brown. She went back the next day and asked for the television set.

"Sorry, I don't sell to blondes," said the clerk.

The blonde went home and shaved her head. She went back the next day and asked for the television set.

"Sorry, I don't sell to blondes," said the clerk.

"How do you know I'm a blonde?"

"Because that's not a TV, thats a microwave."


And one more....


Once upon a time there was a house, and in this house was a room, and in this room was a magical mirror. If one were to stand in front of the mirror and tell a lie, the mirror would suck you in. Once, a brunette went up to the mirror.

"I think I'm the smartest woman in the world," she said. The mirror sucked her in.

Then a ginger girl walked up. "I think I'm the smartest woman in the world, she said. The mirror sucked her in.

Then a blonde walked up. She looked at the mirror, and said "I think-"

The mirror sucked her in.
posted over a year ago.
 
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laugh
I love #1!
posted over a year ago.
 
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big smile
#1 and #2!!! lol im so glad im brunette lol
posted over a year ago.
 
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laugh
funny but i've already heard the one about the tracks!
posted over a year ago.
 
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big smile
Lol! XD My enemy at schools a blonde! She's SO mean but all blondes have a different story some are dumb blondes like passily on A.N.T Farm and others are mean like Lexi on A.N.T Farm!
The mean, blonde cheerleader...What a cliché!
posted over a year ago.
 
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Hughmygod said:
Hahahaha!! Love the last one
posted over a year ago.
 
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They are really funny but mean some blondes are smart like I am blonde and dId find them funny but not fair to the blondes like why is it blondes and gingers who get called?
posted over a year ago.
 
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laugh
^ Because they are jokes. They are meant to be laughed about.


A blonde was driving a car, and she accidentally drove on at a red traffic light. A policewoman - who was also a blonde - approached her.

Blonde cop: It appears you drove through a red light, may I see your license?
Blonde driver: A license? What's that?
Blonde cop: Well, uhh... It's something that has your face on it.

The blonde looked through her purse, and she found a small mirror. She looked in it, and saw her face, and figured that this must be what the blonde policewoman asked for. She gave the mirror to the blonde policewoman. The policewoman looked into the mirror for a few seconds, and said afterwards:

"I'm sorry, carry on. I didn't realize you were an officer as well."
posted over a year ago.
 
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prophet69 said:
@bond: xDDDDDDDDD MAN! That just made my day. I laughed so hard.. XD
posted over a year ago.
 
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laugh
All good and funny
posted over a year ago.
 
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iso1337 said:
Hahhahaha ;D
posted over a year ago.
 
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tongue
These jokes are so funny but I have to say my favorite is number 1
posted over a year ago.
 
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crying
I'm a brunnette but used to be blonde so your taking the mick out of me when i was little
posted over a year ago.
 
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A werewolf a smart blond and a dumb blond are sitting by the pool.Someone drops a bucket of quarters into the pool.Who is the first to dive in and get them?The dumb blond their is no such thing as a werewolf or a smart bond.
posted over a year ago.
 
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heart
no offense to blonds my BFF and sister are blond and they are both very smart.
posted over a year ago.
 
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Hahaha funny but there are SOME smart blondes I'm one of those people.I'm in an advanced class.there are some ...LOTS of dumb blondes too don't get me wrong a couple would be my cousin and my brother.

-RusteeCuddles
posted over a year ago.
 
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mischievous
A dumb blonde had an imaginary friend who was a smart blonde.If you lied in front of her imaginary mirror you will be put to death.Since she was dumb she told her mirror about her imaginary friend."She is blonde and smart..."A week later her imaginary friend said "I told her I'm dumb!"the mirror was in the room.She died!
posted over a year ago.
 
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crying
ALL OF YOU PEOPLE ARE RUDE! I AM A BLONDE, AND THANKS TO PEOPLE LIKE YOU, I FEEL LIKE KILLING MYSELF BECAUSE THIS IS SO HURTFUL!!!!
posted over a year ago.
 
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sad
this is no funny! you people should be ashamed of yourselves!!
posted over a year ago.
 
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mischievous
LOL im a blonde and this is just awesome... keep posting the blonde jokes please!!! I am becoming amazing at these!!!
posted over a year ago.
 
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There's dumb people and smart people. I'm quite sure that more blondes, on average, are dumb, than with the other hair colours... Otherwise, why would we have called it a 'blond moment'?
posted over a year ago.
 
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cool
Heres a blonde joke: a blonde, brunette and a ginger are stranded on an island. the ginger swims 10% of the way to the mainland and gets tired, so she heads back. The brunette swims 35% of the way but heads back for the same reason. The blonde swims 65% of the way, but gets tired and heads back.
posted over a year ago.
 
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Here's another blonde guy joke (there aren't many)
Three blonde guys are stuck on an island in the middle of a huge river, when a genie appears and grants them each one wish. The first blonde wishes he was smarter so he turns into a redhead and swims across, the second one wishes he was even smarter, he turns into a brunette and builds a raft from wood and sails across. The last blonde wishes to be EVEN smarter, so he turns into a Girl and walks across the bridge.
posted 29 days ago.