Random Article: Chuck Norris Jokes

2

posted by cutiegirl01

01 Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
02 Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
03 Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
04 If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
05 Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
06 When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
07 Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
08 Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
09 They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
10 A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
11.When Chuck Norris reads these jokes he doesnt laugh, he noddes in agreement.
12.Chuck Norris doesnt wear superman pjs, superman wears chuck norris pj's.
13.When Chuck Norris jumps into water he doesnt get wet, the water gets Chuck Norris.

deathding and cleo-mermaid like this

taismo723 XDDD

C:

added by Dream-On

3

Phil Margera and Bam Margera♥

added by victoria7011

Source: facebook

~Burn~

added by Usui--takumi

Source: My friend

4

funny

added by Tamar20

2

nom

added by Smib

2

mary -kate olsen -perfect

added by alizoula

7

Random

added by TDIlover226

Source: Various websites

2

The Schizophrenic House

added by Cliff040479

Source: http://www.flickr.com/photos/77371316@N00/72816738/

1

hi

added by EminemAddict09

Source: my awesomeness

4

Hmm...

added by ladolcevita

Source: Hmmm... Um,well EW.com, Everglow, Mugglenet, me!, forgot the last

4

Puns

posted by Bluekait

An expert farmer is outstanding in her field.

An incompetent ship captain grounds the warship he walks on.

Camels live in Camelfornia.

Cannibals like to meat people.

Hands are like bells, especially when they're wrung.

How about the bear that was hit by an 18-wheeler and splattered all over the place? They said it was a grizzly accident.

How about the man who ran through a screen door? He strained himself.

If life is like a bowl of cherries, what's the raisin for living?

In some places fog will never be mist.

Once upon a time, a tribe of cannibals caught a saint sent to them as a missionary...

2

Solo

posted by nmdis

"Solo"

You speak to me
And in your words I hear a melody
But in the twilight it's so hard to see
What's wrong for me

I can't resist
Until you give the truth a little twist
As if you're gonna get away with this
You're not sorry

I can't believe I fell for this

I fell through the hole
Down at the bottom of your soul
Didn't think you could go
So low
Look at what you've done
You're losing me
Here's what you've won
Got me planning to go
Solo
Solo

You sing to me
Too bad you couldn't even stay on key
If your life is such a mystery
Why don't you stick to acting?

Here you go again...

2

Piercing Lyrics

posted by nmdis

"Piercing"

Living in fear
Is not what you had
In mind for me
But holding to you
Is so hard
I cling to what I see

In a world where my emotions
Seem to rule my every move
They will challenge my devotion
To seek and know the truth

You're piercing me
This self will bleed
You're killing all
Of my securities
Lord, help me see the reality
That all I'll ever need is You

Here in this haze a distant light
Seems to draw me near
But in the shadow of my doubt
My faith just disappears

In a world where my emotions
Seem to rule my every move
They will challenge my devotion
To seek and know the truth

You're...

3

Ice Cold's Lyrics

posted by nmdis

IceCold
She fell in love with a dope boy
Black diamonds on the neck of that dope boy
Big body Benz for that dope boy
Love every tattoo on that dope boy
She sheds tears for that dope boy
Shit, it is what it is for that dope boy
Handle minor biz for that dope boy
But the reward is major, so on and so forth
She can tell you by the Greyhound
She can show you how to stay down
I can tell you 'bout to break down
VS1's all in my bitch watch face now
Straight G's for your low esteem
A.P's for the whole team
As I run away from my obituary
Walking in the shit that'll get you buried
Miami's mine like I'm Pat Riley
Baselines...

3

Beat Lyrics

posted by nmdis

BEAT

It's a big bad world but I ain't ashamed,
I like the lights in my hand
And the beat in my face.
It's a big bad world but I ain't ashamed,
I like the lights in my hand
And the beat in my face.

Be-be-beat in my face, be-be-beat in my face,
The lights in my hand, and the beat in my face

Be-be-beat in my face, be-be-beat in my face,
The lights in my hand, and the beat in my face

I'mma make you bend your back
Oh my god, this beat is crack
When I do this, you do that

I feel like dancing when I hear that sound,
Just wanna do it, eh, just wanna do it, eh.
I feel like dancing when I hear that sound,
Just wanna...

2

A Year Without Rain's Lyrics

posted by nmdis

Ooh ooh ooh
Ooh ooh ooh

Can you feel me
When I think about you?
With every breath I take
Every minute
No matter what I do

My world is an empty place
Like I've been wandering the desert
For a thousand days (oh)
Don't know if it's a mirage
But I always see your face, baby

[Chorus:]
I'm missing you so much
Can't help it, I'm in love
A day without you is like a year without rain
I need you by my side
Don't know how I'll survive
A day without you is like a year without rain (oh, whoa)
Whoa, oh, whoa

The stars are burning
I hear your voice in my mind (voice in my mind)
Can't you hear me calling?
My heart is yearning
Like...

2

Come & Get It

posted by nmdis

Come and Get it
[chorus]
When you're ready come and get it (x2)
Na na na (x3)

When you're re-e-a-dy (x2)

When you're ready come and get it
Na na na (x3)

You ain’t gotta worry it’s an open invitation
I’ll be sittin’ right here real patient
All day all night I’ll be waitin’ standby
Can’t stop because I love it, hate the way I love you
All day all night maybe I’m addicted for life, no lie.
I’m not too shy to show I love you, I got no regrets.
I love you much to, much to hide you, this love ain’t finished yet. This love ain’t finished yet…
So baby whenever you’re ready…

[chorus]
When...

4

The Warrior Princess and the Elven Prince

posted by misscrazel

Chapter One: Salvador

Silver Monroe skipped up the stone steps to Westover High School. Silver could have easily gotten almost any boy she wanted; only she had yet to find the one meant for her. She walked swiftly down the long hallways to her first class; math.

After about ten minutes the boy sitting behind her raised his hand, asking for water. Silver had been in mostly the same classes as him almost the entire year and she had never heard him talk before. She had never really even noticed him before. He had long, blonde hair that was almost white and black eyes. The teacher, Mrs. Taylor dismissed...

6

the mirror of fate chapter one: the chosen lands

posted by misscrazel

June 17th 100,000,000 BC 12 O'clock at night
Four children are born, quadruplets, the youngest born at the strike of midnight. The first child is named Queverial, the second Ceelarion, the third Ierailiasha, and the last one is named Mist. The father decides the last child should have a complex name as the others do but the mother has made up her mind that Mist is the perfect name.
Then she sends them through the mirror of fate to find there destiny and they may never return if they do not find it in time.

January 21st 90,000,000 BC 3:30 P.M.
The children grow up living in the chosen lands...

5

I have no idea what to call this. O.O But it's chapter one.

posted by -SilverFey-

Just a few things before the story; one, if there's something you don't like about it, please tell me! I want it to be as good as it can be. ^-^ Just please tell me in a respectful way, please. I would appreciate that. Thank you.
Also, this story will be a little (well, more than a little) bloody and violent, and there may be some cussing later on. Just a warning.
That being said, I hope you like it!
_____________________________________________

Gnarled branches. Green leaves grew from them—green leaves spotted with yellows and reds. They rustled dryly, talking of the upcoming season of autumn....