I'M AVENGING MY TUMBLR DASHBOARD

    Police are investigating a fire at a local school building, which was full of what are now dead children and teachers. Or at least, presumed dead, as no bodies have actually been found. There was only one person left: a seemingly deranged babbling female teacher speaking of a giant blob, of sorts. The police instantly dismissed her ramblings as those of a traumatized and stressed mind and went back to work. Their investigation turned up large amounts of sulfur, which was very odd and completely unexplained. Most dismissed it, saying that the science labs must have just...

This a little something I wrote for my English class after we read The Modest Proposal. We had to write our own modest proposals on modern day issues, and mine is on gay rights. It's short and to the point, so I won't be wasting too much of your time.
WARNING: some of the content may be offensive. Please realize that this is a satire (though I really do mean to offend people). Love or hate me for it, I don't care. Enjoy.


A Modest Proposal
Discrimination has always been a problem in this country. Only 50 years ago were blacks given the same rights as white people. Now, a big issue is discrimination...

1. Know how to make you smile when you are down

2. Try to secretly smell your hair , but you always notice.

3. Stick up for you, but still respects your independence .

4. Give you the remote control during the game

5. Come up behind you and put his arms around you

6. Play with your hair .

7. His hands always find yours .

8. Be cute when he really wants something.

9. Offer you plenty of massages

10. Dance with you, even if he feels like a dork .

11. Never run out of love .

12. Be funny , but know how to be serious

13. Realize he's being funny when he needs to be serious

14. Be patient when you take...