A/N: An idea that just popped into my head.
Insane. Was that the only word they knew to describe me? Those
people who wore white and watched me like a hawk? The country?
Never a word was uttered about me that didn't involve insanity, never
a whisper was heard that didn't call me crazy. Everyone believed the lie
I lived, the lie I created. It was like a game.
It was perfect, blame it all on my partner in the games, losing his head,
and me having to watch, yes it did pain me, but the oppurtunity I saw
in it was too hard to avoid. I would be out of the Capitol's reach before
long, out of their games.
Insanity, was an escape, was a way to outsmart the gamemakers who
believe they outsmarted everyone in the arena with their element of
surprise. I refuse to be a player in their games.
After I was named victor, the plan stuck. I stayed in this little state of
insanity and in return I received very little attention from the Capitol,
just the way I wanted it. All the useless babbling, the staring off in
space, all of it still a game that the Capitol was currently playing in.
After pretending for so long though, things do creep into your mind
that wern't there before. Before long I too began to fear that I was taking
my act too far, that my act was becoming to much of a reality. The nightmares
came, the memories, they all flooded back and a scream broke from my
mouth that would have seemed normal to anyone that wasn't me, they
were used to my scream, but this one was real.
Finnick Odair was the only one who knew about the games I participated
in, outsmarting the Capitol, and having them leave me unscathed. Finnick
though was not as lucky as I was, he was being used as a puppet, he had
been for a long time. He was the real motivation behind my game, I had seen
them torture him long enough, and had heard the secrets that plagued him.
"That's Annie Cresta, the insane one," I smile and stare off in space
cluelessly avoiding whoever had said those words. What are they to me?
They don't matter.
Things were twisted around though, I no longer was a player in a game,
I was bait. The Capitol stole me away from District 4 and threw me in a cell
next to other victors. Night after night, the damp underground dungeon
was filled with agonizing screams as they tortured us in ways that could
only be described as cruel, using the one's we love to work against us.
I got the easier end of the deal though, Peeta and Johanna wern't as
lucky. Me, being considered crazy already, was for the most part left
alone. The panic set in though after a week of being held captive, the
screams not stopping since they had begun, there was the insanity
again slipping through.
Finnick, all I could hope was that he was safe wherever he was. Without
confirmation of this, left me incredibly uneasy. After awhile I would just
cup my hands over my ears and block out all noises around me, but it
couldn't block out the worse scream of all. Peeta's.
Peeta was missing someone he loved too, but they were using his love
against him. The Capitol was infecting his blood with tracker jacker venom,
giving him all kinds of hallucinations. This for sure will do permanent
damage.
The whole time I just rested my head against the cold bars of my cell,
looking at the ground trying to keep up an act that was slowly becoming a
reality. I could feel the tears rising to my sea green eyes, and my pale,
shaking fingers find their way through my dark brown hair. Even I have
fallen victim of my game.
I was returned to Finnick, oh what a joyful meeting. I sprinted over to
the bronze-haired boy I had come to love and embraced him as tightly
as I could. He whispered in my ear sweet words of comfort while I
whispered into his the same. We both comforted each other.
By now, my sanity really was quite questionable. With Finnick by my side
though, I knew I had won my game, but I wasn't certain it was over
quite yet. I was right.
Happy scenes play together: the reunion, the wedding, everything seemed
absolutely perfect. We were in District 13, we were safe, and we were
together.
But the rebellion lived on, the fire raging through the country of Panem
faster then anyone would have imagined possible. All started by
the girl who was on fire. The Mockingjay.
Finnick wanted to fight, but I wanted him here, with me. He ofcourse
won, promising he would return soon, but he never did.
The Capitol fell days after his death, but Finnick was not present,
he had died in the face of the mutts the Capitol scientist had created.
Nothing of him left behind. Except for one thing.
While he was off fighting with the rebels, I received joyous news. I was
pregnant. Hardly able to contain my excitement I awaited the day I would
get to tell Finnick. But it too, never came.
People thought I was delusional, after such a big loss could I handle
raising a child by myself? Yes. Yes I could. Finnick's death broke me
beyond repair, anyone could see that, but I could still function.
The act of putting my hands to my ears became real as I woke up
screaming with the nightmares of his screams echoeing in my ears. The
shaking also became a reality when I would curl up all alone with no
comfort.
The Capitol was out of control, a new type of government was forming.
Everyone was free from worry of having to send their child off to a fight
for the death. I should be happy, my son wouldn't ever have to face
the terrible reality of what was The Hunger Games.
Everynight when I held my baby boy in my arms after he woke up
crying from a nightmare I would open up the windows to let in the
salty sea air that was District 4. Almost instantly I could feel Finnick's
strong arms wrap around the both of us, providing the comfort that
we would actually never get.
Annie Cresta is not insane. That's not the proper word to use about
a girl who tricked the most manipulating gamemakers in the word, who held
it all together when her world was falling apart, who had to learn the difference
between an act and reality, and who had to lose someone they loved
only to have to to go on with someone who now replaced them.
Smart. Now there's a good word.
Insane. Was that the only word they knew to describe me? Those
people who wore white and watched me like a hawk? The country?
Never a word was uttered about me that didn't involve insanity, never
a whisper was heard that didn't call me crazy. Everyone believed the lie
I lived, the lie I created. It was like a game.
It was perfect, blame it all on my partner in the games, losing his head,
and me having to watch, yes it did pain me, but the oppurtunity I saw
in it was too hard to avoid. I would be out of the Capitol's reach before
long, out of their games.
Insanity, was an escape, was a way to outsmart the gamemakers who
believe they outsmarted everyone in the arena with their element of
surprise. I refuse to be a player in their games.
After I was named victor, the plan stuck. I stayed in this little state of
insanity and in return I received very little attention from the Capitol,
just the way I wanted it. All the useless babbling, the staring off in
space, all of it still a game that the Capitol was currently playing in.
After pretending for so long though, things do creep into your mind
that wern't there before. Before long I too began to fear that I was taking
my act too far, that my act was becoming to much of a reality. The nightmares
came, the memories, they all flooded back and a scream broke from my
mouth that would have seemed normal to anyone that wasn't me, they
were used to my scream, but this one was real.
Finnick Odair was the only one who knew about the games I participated
in, outsmarting the Capitol, and having them leave me unscathed. Finnick
though was not as lucky as I was, he was being used as a puppet, he had
been for a long time. He was the real motivation behind my game, I had seen
them torture him long enough, and had heard the secrets that plagued him.
"That's Annie Cresta, the insane one," I smile and stare off in space
cluelessly avoiding whoever had said those words. What are they to me?
They don't matter.
Things were twisted around though, I no longer was a player in a game,
I was bait. The Capitol stole me away from District 4 and threw me in a cell
next to other victors. Night after night, the damp underground dungeon
was filled with agonizing screams as they tortured us in ways that could
only be described as cruel, using the one's we love to work against us.
I got the easier end of the deal though, Peeta and Johanna wern't as
lucky. Me, being considered crazy already, was for the most part left
alone. The panic set in though after a week of being held captive, the
screams not stopping since they had begun, there was the insanity
again slipping through.
Finnick, all I could hope was that he was safe wherever he was. Without
confirmation of this, left me incredibly uneasy. After awhile I would just
cup my hands over my ears and block out all noises around me, but it
couldn't block out the worse scream of all. Peeta's.
Peeta was missing someone he loved too, but they were using his love
against him. The Capitol was infecting his blood with tracker jacker venom,
giving him all kinds of hallucinations. This for sure will do permanent
damage.
The whole time I just rested my head against the cold bars of my cell,
looking at the ground trying to keep up an act that was slowly becoming a
reality. I could feel the tears rising to my sea green eyes, and my pale,
shaking fingers find their way through my dark brown hair. Even I have
fallen victim of my game.
I was returned to Finnick, oh what a joyful meeting. I sprinted over to
the bronze-haired boy I had come to love and embraced him as tightly
as I could. He whispered in my ear sweet words of comfort while I
whispered into his the same. We both comforted each other.
By now, my sanity really was quite questionable. With Finnick by my side
though, I knew I had won my game, but I wasn't certain it was over
quite yet. I was right.
Happy scenes play together: the reunion, the wedding, everything seemed
absolutely perfect. We were in District 13, we were safe, and we were
together.
But the rebellion lived on, the fire raging through the country of Panem
faster then anyone would have imagined possible. All started by
the girl who was on fire. The Mockingjay.
Finnick wanted to fight, but I wanted him here, with me. He ofcourse
won, promising he would return soon, but he never did.
The Capitol fell days after his death, but Finnick was not present,
he had died in the face of the mutts the Capitol scientist had created.
Nothing of him left behind. Except for one thing.
While he was off fighting with the rebels, I received joyous news. I was
pregnant. Hardly able to contain my excitement I awaited the day I would
get to tell Finnick. But it too, never came.
People thought I was delusional, after such a big loss could I handle
raising a child by myself? Yes. Yes I could. Finnick's death broke me
beyond repair, anyone could see that, but I could still function.
The act of putting my hands to my ears became real as I woke up
screaming with the nightmares of his screams echoeing in my ears. The
shaking also became a reality when I would curl up all alone with no
comfort.
The Capitol was out of control, a new type of government was forming.
Everyone was free from worry of having to send their child off to a fight
for the death. I should be happy, my son wouldn't ever have to face
the terrible reality of what was The Hunger Games.
Everynight when I held my baby boy in my arms after he woke up
crying from a nightmare I would open up the windows to let in the
salty sea air that was District 4. Almost instantly I could feel Finnick's
strong arms wrap around the both of us, providing the comfort that
we would actually never get.
Annie Cresta is not insane. That's not the proper word to use about
a girl who tricked the most manipulating gamemakers in the word, who held
it all together when her world was falling apart, who had to learn the difference
between an act and reality, and who had to lose someone they loved
only to have to to go on with someone who now replaced them.
Smart. Now there's a good word.
