You died…. What else do you want. You just died… Okay, fine. You then met me, God, of course. Who else is going to narrate this story? Anyway, You came to me and said, “Who are you”?
I said, “I am God”?
And You said, “So… you’re Sonic.EXE”.
And I said, “... You’re a special kind of stupid”.
And You just sat there like a moron. Anyway, I then said, “Well, anyway, I am the actual God, the creator of the world, and so on and so forth. And you’re dead. You got in a bad car accident. Smashed your ribs, which mutilated you from the inside. Real gross. Blood everywhere. The usual ways you die in these stories”.
And You said, “So, do I go to Heaven”?
And I said, “No, you are going to be reborn. And, I believe you will be reborn as… A… hamster with a birth defect”.
You said, “So, what about everyone else”?
And I said, “What about them”?
And You said, “Well, won’t they remember me”?
And I said, “Of course not. You’re Them. This whole world is made for you. You are everyone”?
Confused, You said, “Wait, I’m everyone”?
And I said, “Yep”.
You said, “So, I was Abraham Lincoln”?
And I said, “And you were John Wilkes Booth”.
You said, “I was Hitler”?
And I said, “And you’re the millions he killed”.
You said, “I’m the guy who slept with every girl”.
And I said, “And, in the end, you were only sleeping with yourself”.
You stood there, shocked, “So, you’re saying that the world is…”.
I interrupted, saying, “An egg? Yes”.
Then You said, “Mmm, eggs”.
I just stood there, annoyed, then finally said, “Just get out of here” and I sent you on your way

End of Part 2