INTRIGUE PLOTS - Terrible Writing Advice

Chapter 4
After four weeks of being best friends, Brandy couldn’t take it anymore and asked her to be his girlfriend. Why not? I mean after all, she’d already asked him for a “fun kiss” and he’d already snuggled her at a movie because “he was cold”. And she in turn put her head on his shoulder because she was “cold too” and he did rub her legs a bit to help her “get some warmth”. They’d already slow danced at home because they were tired of listening to fast music. And she loved him, he knew it, and it was just as goddamned obvious that he loved her. So one afternoon...

Hiya, the names Aurora Faye Boudreaux. I've been thinking about how the worlds changing. I figured my life story could be of some intrest.

So i begin......

The dampen grass, cool on my skin sends shivers down my spine. I never liked the cold. The moon tonight was full and bright shimmering down upon me. I could point out every star. It's what i love most about living out here. Mire is a little country town in South Louisiana i've grown up in my whole life. It's very peaceful and everyone knows one another. I live on the outskirts of town so the night is dark and peaceful. All my 20 years of...

Chapter3
It was during the August vacation that Brandy and his family had moved to Greenwood. His sisters were not too happy about it, they missed their friends. And Cadence had to say goodbye to her boyfriend, but Brandy had nothing and no one to say goodbye to, so he didn’t care. He spent most of his days locked up in his room, and then when he went to school, he was tortured by the kids. The teachers didn’t like him much either, because he was absent minded and frankly, came across quite dim witted. He never handed up homework assignments and he always got really low in his classes because...

Chap2
That very same day, Brandy went out into the yard. There was a patch of forest behind the house. He peered out at it. Could it be that his girl…the love of his life was still there? He felt like a real perv for reaching out to her body, but he saw the expression on her face and she did not look afraid, she looked like if she was welcoming him, urging him on, and she was smiling as bright as the sun, her body seemed to be emanating light. Yes he wanted her true…but she wanted him, she did, she really did. And even if she didn’t, this was his time to find out.

He took one easy step...

The car skidded off and Josie bumped up against something in the trunk,"OW!"She yelled.She heard Rachel and her friends talking.She strained to listen.

"Um,Rachel you know we could get in BIG trouble for this,right?"Haley asked."Why,are you scared?"Rachel replied,then snorted."Um,no.I just don't want to get in trouble."Haley said."Yeah Rachel,this is,like,kidnapping."Destiny commented."UH!I should have known you two would wimp out!"Rachel complained.

Finally,they came to a stop."Come on you two and help me with her!"Rachel screamed.Then Josie heard doors slamming shut and gravel crunching...

This is from a dream I had; and I just wrote that part so far. I'm probably going to continue, and add a part before this. Just a quick summary catch-up:

Phoenix lives in an apartment with her Mom, who was 14 when she had Phoenix. She doesn't have a connection with her dad anymore. She is 15. She is generally very happy, and has a good relationship with her mom. They are very tight on money. Phoenix's best friend is a girl named Mercedes, who is kind of out there, being the middle child and only girl out of five kids.

Lately, Phoenix has gotten very sick. She stays home from school often. She...