This is a dedication to my long lost friends: Jon, Simba, and Garth. I'll miss you all!!

(And in case you didn't know. In the official RP of this fan page. Jon had Kate. Kate had left Humphrey for Jon.
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How long has it been, 3 or 5 years? Honestly I can't really remember, it is like if time has stopped since that night...

It's funny; people say that the pain goes with the time. That eventually you'll end accepting it and get up over it. Well, that's not my case, because, it still hurts just as much as that night...That ...Night...Some years ago.

I was running through Yellowstone National Park, the new home of mom and dad, but you'd probably know them better as Kate and Jon(katealphawolf). Jon was off with my older sister and older brother, and I was stuck at the house with momma. I stopped by our den and walked inside, to find my mother fixing some ornaments on the den walls. "Oh come on Momma!" I yelled,"You must be grumpy about something for not wanting to go."

"I told you hun, I'm fine." She replied as she turned to me,"I just don't feel like going to the The Wolf Games. I'd rather stay here and rest...And maybe do some redecorating."

"But Momma, it's in the Valley this year. This is a chance to see the family again."

"I'm sorry sweetie. I'm just not up to it this year." She started as she turned back around to fix some more ornaments on the wall,"Besides, if I leave...Who's going to watch the pack?" Mom put up some deer skin against a jag in the den. "Not everyone is going to the games. What if your father comes home and I'm not here to help him?" She asked.

"He's a grown wolf, he can take care of himself till after the games. C'mon Momma! You're granddaughter is going to be in the games this year!" I said as I got up on my hind legs in a begging stance.

"I said no, I'm sorry love."

I finally accepted defeat and sighed as I sat at her side. "Alright mom.," I mumbled,"Can we at least go to the feast afterwards?" I asked, finding a new reason to pester.

"I'm not, but that doesn't mean you can't go."

"Nah. I couldn't just leave you here by yourself. It wouldn't feel right." I said as I sorted some skins and antlers on the wall,"And if you're going to insist in redecorating, who else is going to keep these hangings and rugs in some sense of order?"

"I am a full grown Alpha. I think I am more then capable of taking care of myself and some dusty old skins and antlers for a day,"She said as her voice showed a little bit more kindness,"Go, and say hi to everyone for me."

I hesitated and said,"I don't know...I don't like just leaving you."

"Well maybe I'd like a few hours of uninterrupted relaxation," She said, annoyance entering her voice,"I've been making you do a lot lately and you deserve a break." She walked over to me, and rubbed my side and nuzzled my cheek. "Now go have some fun." She said quietly.

"heh...Thanks, momma." I said as I exited the den. I started off and turned to check on her. Hoping that she would be alright without me. "I wont delay too long. I don't want to leave you alone." I said as I ran off. "See you later momma."

"Goodbye sweetheart."

I walked to the hills around the valley. My sister-in-law and brother-in-law haven't seen me in ages, so I avoided them to get away from talking to them. I walked up to get a closer look, hiding behind some boulders. I looked down and there was a lovely ceremony where my Uncle Humphrey and Mom got married. I call him Uncle Humphrey because he's cool, and I enjoy spending time with him. They spoke of how historic the Wolf Games were and the many legends of the games. Like mom, or, my sister.

I walked up the hill to get to the den. Excited to see mother and to show her what I brought. "Mom! I'm Back!" I yelled,"I can't believe you missed the feast, it was amazing, they had the best deer I have ever tasted! I even brought some back for you...Very little of course"...Ther was no answer. "Momma?" I called, starting to get worried. "MOMMA!?!?" I called again.

I turned the corner to the den and found her lying down beside the old log sled. "Oh..Momma...You worried me. YOu fell asleep studying...you do that a lot lately." I rubbed her side and said,"Come on momma. Lets go sleep over here so you can rest properly okay?"

There was no movement. "Mom?" I called out, but she didn't answer. "MOMMA!?!?" In fact...She wasn't breathing. "MOMMA!!!" I yelled. "MOMMA!!! STOP IT!!!...It's...It's not funny!!! MOMMA!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?" I yelled as I began to realize what was going on,"Twilight.......no..." I rushed to the outside and howled a distress signal. I sat there with Mom in my arms, "The others are coming, just hang on, Momma. They can fix this, they can help you...Please...Momma? MOMMAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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The next day was a bright and cheerful sunny day, and it seemed unfair for me. As if the world didn't feel the loss from one of the most amazing wolves in the world, but I was very sure that grandpa probably passed through great pain to wait for such a beautiful day, he probably saw it as a way to greet his dead daughter, and welcome her to doggy heaven...But it should've been raining, a heavy downpour that soaked everything as it rustled to the ground. Those had been the kind of days Momma had loved; sitting inside the den as she listened to the rain hiss down and rum on the roof, the wind moving in the trees into gentle music.

It was a quiet, restrained, and very humble ceremony, but I'm sure it was the way Kate would've liked. Even lying in the deer skin, she was beautiful.

Humphrey had been the only one besides Dad and my half brother Stinky, to speak. His voice was still strong from years of drilling at the Wolf Games, and though his legs were far from full power; he still ran rings around the other coaches. He said a few words before he faltered and his wife had to help him away.

I knew how he felt...Sort of. Mom was so special, she had helped everyone and now she was gone.

Lilly spent most of the time with her Garth and her kids. I don't really remember their names; all I knew is that all of them were very happy in the Eastern Pack.

Claudette didn't say much of anything, just stared at the ground, her face black; her daughter, Cherry, staying close to her side. It must've been hard on her, burying her mother so soon after losing her husband. She rarely comes out of her den now days, spending her days in a self enforced exile of sorts, venturing into the Valley only to see mom every once in a while.

Even Dad's usual energy had been subdued, but he still was the same old Dad...But still sometimes optimism is useless when facing such big pain as this.

Grandma had been the only one besides me who came to the funeral alone. Mom had managed to stay closer with grandma then with the rest of the family; but despite living two dens over...She had been almost as distant as everyone else.

Stinky was meant to look emotionless on the matter, after all, he is the leader of the Western Pack, and he must show his strength before any kind of situation, even this one. However, I think even a Loyal Leader has the right to cry for his loving mother.

In a long and silent walk, Stinky and Dad carried mom to her final place of rest: The Legendary Valley of Heroes in Jasper, the resting place for the most brave and legendary wolves of Jasper and Yellowstone...Grandpa and Uncle Tony are both buried there. Needless to say, momma had earned the right to be buried there.

The skin was lowered, the last words were spoken, the last howls were...howled, the burial site was covered, and I said goodbye to my mom for the last time. Then everyone walked away, returning to his or her life and families...everyone but me. I had no family to return with. I had lost my family...Tensions with my dad and siblings...They're not my family anymore.
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My life changed completely since that day; I asked Stinky to find another one to watch over mom's den, I just didn't want to be in that place. I moved near the Valley of Heroes. I couldn't sleep for at least two weeks. I missed her so much. I missed everything about her. Her voice, her smell, her warmth when she used to lay next to me to sleep. The gentle words: "Hun, go to sleep." "Love, go move the log." "Sweetheart, would you like some extra deer or caribou? I just went hunting!"

I cried so much, why wasn't I there with her? Why did I leave her alone? Did I tell her how much I loved her that day? Did I say 'goodbye' before leaving? I can't remember if I did! Why did she have to go? WHY!?

Another year since she passed away..I'm here again...alone as usual, nobody seems to remember, nobody seems to care at all, the loss from the one who saved them from total war. Just her little boy comes to cry for her. Oh god, why does it hurt so much?

"Are you all right spike?" Humphrey asked as he took a seat beside me.

I wiped my eyes,"Humphrey! Yeah, I'm...just great...Never been better. Umm...What are you doing here?"

"Am I not allowed to pay my respects to a wolf that tried her best to live a good life? I come here every year...Usually I wait for you to finish though."

"Really? But why?" I asked.

"Just being polite. I did not want to intrude on your grief, but this year I figured you might want to know you're not the only one who visits."

"No, I mean why do you visit her?" I asked as he looked at me surprised. He sighed and smiled before giving me this answer,"Because she was once my mate. She gave me two wonderful children to love. I still think it went worse then it should've...I guess I come to dream about what could've been."

I looked at Humphrey as surprised as he was to my question. Then I just looked down to ask,"Mr. Humphrey."

"Please, here, just call me Humphrey. You don't have to stick to those damn formalities."

"Fine. Humphrey, you've been around for a long time; you must've had loved ones pass away before...Does it get any easier?" I asked.

"Does what ever get easier?" He asked as he looked at me,"The pain of every new loss? Or the pain of this loss?"

I looked away and in an 'I don't care' voice, replied, "Either. Both."

"Never." He said as we both hung our heads, "But it doesn't always hurt so bad. It is never easy to lose someone you love. Never. But it will get better eventually. Not easy, never easy. But it will not always be so hard."

"I miss her all the time. Even now, it feels wrong not being at her side. I was always there when she needed me...Except when she needed me most."

"There was nothing you could have done. She was old, and it was simply her time. Everyone must die sometimes; even me. Death comes for all of us, and all we can do is try to move on. Take comfort in the fact that for her, it was peaceful and painless. There are many who can not say as much.

I slammed my paw against the ground...My pain and self hatred were balling up inside me about to burst. "That doesn't change the fact that I should've been there when it happened, not out stuffing my face at some stupid games!!!"

Humphrey looked worried at me and said,"Even if you were there. You could not have done anything!"

My pain finally got the best of me...and I snapped, letting it all out. "I'm an omega!!! We have some abilities!! Shouldn't you know that!? If I had been there I could've done something! ANYTHING!!!........But I left, and she died. Alone, while I was out having fun!"

He was pulled back by my sudden burst. He looked down sadly. Then with worry in his eyes he looked back at me and said, "Bud, tell me; why do you come here, every year? On the day you failed the one person you loved the most?"

I looked at him in surprise to how worried he was...then I answered,"Because...what if I forget? Omegas are supposed to live much longer then alphas, and what if, in that time. I forget. Forget who she was and what she meant to me."

"But wouldn't that be a good thing? It wouldn't hurt then."

"It's not worth it. Even if it hurts, I don't want to forget her."

Humphrey looked up to me with the biggest smirk on his face. "Come with me bud, there is something that you must see." He said as he walked away.

I looked at mother's grave, howled one last time, and then departed.

We ran to Humphrey's pack in Jasper. The Southern Pack. He went inside and grabbed his wife, Miralyn. "Here, I think you need to hear this."

Miralyn looked at me and said, "Your mother. Left a message for you little one. I have not told anyone what she said nor has she."

"Go ahead Miralyn." Humphrey asked of her.

"Dear my little boy,

I write this in hope that you will read it, and that, when you do, I'll be gone. I am so very old baby, and I've been expecting this for a long time. I am happy with the life I had and the time I was able to spend with my family and pack. Especially you and your siblings.

You mean the world to me hun, and I wish I didn't have to leave you like this, but my time has come and you still have so much more ahead of you. I hope that you had fun today at the games, and that my passing doesn't taint it for you. I know when you left, that it would probably be the last time we would see each other, and I was okay with that. There was nothing you could've done, and it was better for you to be having fun then crouched helpless at my side.

Don't blame yourself, and don't bury yourself in the past. I want you to live your life, not spend it moaning about me. You were my little shinning star, in every way that matters, and someday, far, far in the future, when your own time comes, we'll be together again,and we can look down on our sons and grandsons taking care of the pack that your father and I started. I'll be waiting for you.

Good luck my little sunshine. May your adventures take you far and wide and may you have a full and happy life.

My love to you always...Mom."

Miralyn finished and nuzzled Humphrey on his cheek and then went back inside their den. "When did she say all this?" I asked.

"Minutes before she died. Miralyn thought it would be best for you not to know about it. She was not trying to be cruel; she just thought it would only make things harder on you. But me? I think you need a final goodbye." We hugged and I sighed softly. "Did you know that a long time ago wolves used to believe that you never truly died until everyone had forgotten you? Well, your mother made five huge ripples. Me, You, and your siblings are still here, and will be for a long time. Keeping her alive in our Memory."

"I...I don't...Thank you...Thank you so much."

"It's not a problem, a leader is supposed to care for and look after his subjects after all." He said as he winked at me.

"Thanks dad." I said as I walked away, and Humphrey and I went our separate ways.

Maybe it's just my imagination. But the setting sun seems to create a more stunning twilight than usual.

A last, silent memorial to a wonderful wolf I suppose.