#1:
Pagan Min: I distinctly remember saying, "Stop the bus." Not "shoot the bus." "*Stop* the bus." I'm very particular with my words. "Stop." "Shoot." "Stop." "Shoot." Do those words sound the same?
Officer: But it got out of control...
Pagan Min: I'm sorry, I didn't hear you. What did you say?
Officer: It got out of control.
Pagan Min: "Got out of control." I hate when things get out of control.
[stabs the soldier with a pen, throws him to the ground and continues stabbing him]
Pagan Min: (while stabbing him) You had one fucking job and you couldn't fucking do that!
[sits]
Pagan Min: And I got blood all over my fucking shoes!
[turns to Ajay]
Pagan Min: At least there's a silver lining. You didn't completely fuck it up.
[helps Ajay up]
Pagan Min: Get up, boy. I'd recognize those eyes anywhere...
[hugs him]
Pagan Min: I'm so sorry about this. This was supposed to be... well, *not this*. We have a party waiting for you, but I don't think I know your name.
[squats by Darpan]
Pagan Min: Who is this? Hmm? Is this your plus-one?
[turns back]
Pagan Min: Strong silent type. I like it.
[stands]
Pagan Min: I am terribly sorry about all this. This was supposed to be very simple, but you know if you give food to monkeys, they just throw their shit at each other.
[holds out the bloody pen]
Pagan Min: Oh, would you hold this?
[Ajay takes it]
Pagan Min: Just a moment... I want to get a little...
[pulls out a camera]
Pagan Min: picture. Right into the camera, there we are.
[takes photo, then looks at it]
Pagan Min: Awesome. Don't worry about a thing, boy. This will soon be behind us and we'll be off on our grand adventure.
[walks to his helicopter]
Pagan Min: Because I have cleared my calendar for you! You and I are gonna TEAR SHIT UP!
#2:
Pagan Min: [over radio] Uncle Pagan here, just checking in on my favorite nephew. So tell me, Ajay, who are you rooting for so far? Have you fallen into Amita's honey pot, or have you been dazzled by Sabal's flowing locks and bad-boy jawline? Hey, each to his own. That's your lifestyle choice to make. He isn't my cup of tea, contrary to the rash assumption some may make about my appearance. I am indeed batting for the other team. You, more than most, should know that there was only ever one woman for me, my boy..
#3:
Pegan: (stabs fork into a guy he saw texting at diner).. These terriests ruin, everything... Like dinner... Didn't anybody tell you it's rude to text at dinner... Let me see the phone.. (to guards) Really? We aren't checking for these... Check this out boys. a "text" for help... You don't text for help.. You CALL for help.... Get up, you gonna do something your do it it RIGHT... (gets up them up). say it!
Man: (weakly) Help...
Pegan min: Pethatic... louder!
an: Help.
Pegan Min: FROM YOUR GUT BOY! SCREAM IT!!
Man: HEEEELP!!
Pegan: Shh, shh.. Now we listen... Nothing... You see boy.. Nobody's coming.
#4:
Pegan Min: Heello.. Did we enjoy our time with CIA?.. Welcome to Deguise.. I apologize for the Spartan accomdiantons.. But you have been a naughty little shit haven't you?.. Galavanting about with the Golden Path... And poor Paul. Are you still sure of what he did with your, monkey friend?
#5:
Pagan Min: [over radio] Ajay, I hope you don't mind, but I took the liberty of having a new suit made up for you. If you are to lead Kyrat when this is all over, you're going to need a sharper look than denims and fucking sneakers, my boy. And that jacket. Oh, don't get me started. Why on Earth do you need so many zippered pockets? What do you keep in them all? Handfuls of meat? Huh, I suppose you do. I'll make a note for my tailor: "Ajay's jacket, zippered meat pockets." Perfect. Well, don't let me slow you down.
#6:
Pegan Min: Now, before we begin... ah... to whom am I speaking? Hm? The son who returned to scatter his mother's ashes, or the lunatic who has murdered his way to the top of my mountain?
#7:
Pegan Min: I'm sure your be all be happy to know, the humors of my death are entirely FALSE... I am alive, and all is right in the world.
#8:
Pegan min: I went in there only once, as a sane man, and I came out...well, I came out like this.
#9:
Pegan Min: Way I see I see it..You can either shoot me.. Boring.. Or enjoy some nice dinner.
#10:
AJ: Fuck you.
Pegan Min: Oh wow, you didn't even blink boy
Pagan Min: I distinctly remember saying, "Stop the bus." Not "shoot the bus." "*Stop* the bus." I'm very particular with my words. "Stop." "Shoot." "Stop." "Shoot." Do those words sound the same?
Officer: But it got out of control...
Pagan Min: I'm sorry, I didn't hear you. What did you say?
Officer: It got out of control.
Pagan Min: "Got out of control." I hate when things get out of control.
[stabs the soldier with a pen, throws him to the ground and continues stabbing him]
Pagan Min: (while stabbing him) You had one fucking job and you couldn't fucking do that!
[sits]
Pagan Min: And I got blood all over my fucking shoes!
[turns to Ajay]
Pagan Min: At least there's a silver lining. You didn't completely fuck it up.
[helps Ajay up]
Pagan Min: Get up, boy. I'd recognize those eyes anywhere...
[hugs him]
Pagan Min: I'm so sorry about this. This was supposed to be... well, *not this*. We have a party waiting for you, but I don't think I know your name.
[squats by Darpan]
Pagan Min: Who is this? Hmm? Is this your plus-one?
[turns back]
Pagan Min: Strong silent type. I like it.
[stands]
Pagan Min: I am terribly sorry about all this. This was supposed to be very simple, but you know if you give food to monkeys, they just throw their shit at each other.
[holds out the bloody pen]
Pagan Min: Oh, would you hold this?
[Ajay takes it]
Pagan Min: Just a moment... I want to get a little...
[pulls out a camera]
Pagan Min: picture. Right into the camera, there we are.
[takes photo, then looks at it]
Pagan Min: Awesome. Don't worry about a thing, boy. This will soon be behind us and we'll be off on our grand adventure.
[walks to his helicopter]
Pagan Min: Because I have cleared my calendar for you! You and I are gonna TEAR SHIT UP!
#2:
Pagan Min: [over radio] Uncle Pagan here, just checking in on my favorite nephew. So tell me, Ajay, who are you rooting for so far? Have you fallen into Amita's honey pot, or have you been dazzled by Sabal's flowing locks and bad-boy jawline? Hey, each to his own. That's your lifestyle choice to make. He isn't my cup of tea, contrary to the rash assumption some may make about my appearance. I am indeed batting for the other team. You, more than most, should know that there was only ever one woman for me, my boy..
#3:
Pegan: (stabs fork into a guy he saw texting at diner).. These terriests ruin, everything... Like dinner... Didn't anybody tell you it's rude to text at dinner... Let me see the phone.. (to guards) Really? We aren't checking for these... Check this out boys. a "text" for help... You don't text for help.. You CALL for help.... Get up, you gonna do something your do it it RIGHT... (gets up them up). say it!
Man: (weakly) Help...
Pegan min: Pethatic... louder!
an: Help.
Pegan Min: FROM YOUR GUT BOY! SCREAM IT!!
Man: HEEEELP!!
Pegan: Shh, shh.. Now we listen... Nothing... You see boy.. Nobody's coming.
#4:
Pegan Min: Heello.. Did we enjoy our time with CIA?.. Welcome to Deguise.. I apologize for the Spartan accomdiantons.. But you have been a naughty little shit haven't you?.. Galavanting about with the Golden Path... And poor Paul. Are you still sure of what he did with your, monkey friend?
#5:
Pagan Min: [over radio] Ajay, I hope you don't mind, but I took the liberty of having a new suit made up for you. If you are to lead Kyrat when this is all over, you're going to need a sharper look than denims and fucking sneakers, my boy. And that jacket. Oh, don't get me started. Why on Earth do you need so many zippered pockets? What do you keep in them all? Handfuls of meat? Huh, I suppose you do. I'll make a note for my tailor: "Ajay's jacket, zippered meat pockets." Perfect. Well, don't let me slow you down.
#6:
Pegan Min: Now, before we begin... ah... to whom am I speaking? Hm? The son who returned to scatter his mother's ashes, or the lunatic who has murdered his way to the top of my mountain?
#7:
Pegan Min: I'm sure your be all be happy to know, the humors of my death are entirely FALSE... I am alive, and all is right in the world.
#8:
Pegan min: I went in there only once, as a sane man, and I came out...well, I came out like this.
#9:
Pegan Min: Way I see I see it..You can either shoot me.. Boring.. Or enjoy some nice dinner.
#10:
AJ: Fuck you.
Pegan Min: Oh wow, you didn't even blink boy
#1:
Tell him ALL blonde girls are idiots..
#2:
Tell him a girl is "out of his league"..
#3:
Put on Country Music..
#4:
Put on ANY teen sitcom other than Sweet life of Zack and Cody, or Drake and Josh. Heck. Even Icarly isn't too bad..
#5:
Convince him into giving a fuck about politics..
#6:
Steal his X-Box..
#7:
Make him watch PowerPuff Girls..
#8:
Remind him that he has no life outside of Fanpop..
#9:
Remind him that GTA 5 STILL doesn't friggin work, and I'm stuck with the 4 games..
#10:
Talk shit about his videos (just kidding)..
Tell him ALL blonde girls are idiots..
#2:
Tell him a girl is "out of his league"..
#3:
Put on Country Music..
#4:
Put on ANY teen sitcom other than Sweet life of Zack and Cody, or Drake and Josh. Heck. Even Icarly isn't too bad..
#5:
Convince him into giving a fuck about politics..
#6:
Steal his X-Box..
#7:
Make him watch PowerPuff Girls..
#8:
Remind him that he has no life outside of Fanpop..
#9:
Remind him that GTA 5 STILL doesn't friggin work, and I'm stuck with the 4 games..
#10:
Talk shit about his videos (just kidding)..
#1: REMAIN CALM AND NO SUDDEN MOVEMENTS:
The Shark may not be planning to attack you.. So don't give the animal any reason to feel threatened. Don't try to out swim away either, unless you're already very close to shore. Sharks can swim 5 times faster than the average human, and this is the most popular mistake that people make. Move slowly toward the shore or a boat; choose whichever is closest. Don't thrash your arms or kick or splash while you swim..
#2: KEEP YOUR EYE ON IT:
And never block the shark's path. If you're standing between the shark and the open ocean, move away, or else the Shark will feel threatened..
#3: AIM FOR THE EYES:
If the Shark DOSE attack, you still need to stay calm. I know this is easier said than done. But. You need to remember one thing.. The eyes and gills are sensitive to shark, attacking these spots will harm the Shark, and it will back off..
The Shark may not be planning to attack you.. So don't give the animal any reason to feel threatened. Don't try to out swim away either, unless you're already very close to shore. Sharks can swim 5 times faster than the average human, and this is the most popular mistake that people make. Move slowly toward the shore or a boat; choose whichever is closest. Don't thrash your arms or kick or splash while you swim..
#2: KEEP YOUR EYE ON IT:
And never block the shark's path. If you're standing between the shark and the open ocean, move away, or else the Shark will feel threatened..
#3: AIM FOR THE EYES:
If the Shark DOSE attack, you still need to stay calm. I know this is easier said than done. But. You need to remember one thing.. The eyes and gills are sensitive to shark, attacking these spots will harm the Shark, and it will back off..
Jonah
