"What kind of explanation is that?"
Explaining House was already hard enough. Explaining his hallucinations to the person they were about, and who is probably the most important person to know ABOUT them, was even harder. If, THAT even makes sense.
"I really don't know how to explain it any other way."
"Well, think of another. It made sense up till, you started explaining what they meant."
"Isn't it...a given?"
"Yes."
"So what's there to explain?"
"How it's possible."
"Why not?"
"I can't even begin to...fathom, how it's possible."
"Again, why not?"
"Because--it's, House."
"Just because he's House, doesn't mean he's bereaved of feelings."
"Puh. I beg to differ."
"Can you honestly look me in the face and say that?"
"I think I just did."
"Yeah he's an ass and, his practice of narcissism is...irrefutable, but. It's also been shown that--he can get hurt. He knows that feeling oh too well. And pain...They're like best friends. So, if he knows those feelings, what makes you think he doesn't love?"
"I'm not saying he's completely stone cold person, he's relatively close, but he's fallen in love once. He crashed. He's not one to....want to experience something painful, twice."
"Yes he is. He practically thrives on pain and misery."
"You think he wanted that leg in the first place?"
"No, but its what made him the way he is."
"He doesn't want to be in pain. He doesn't want to feel miserable."
"From what his leg made of him, that's the only thing he feels he has. At least, until he realized...how deep he had really fallen."
"He likes my body, my features, and whatever else is erupting in his mind when I'm around. What we do to each other, isn't love. We do it out of annoyance and power."
"Oh please. Do you honestly think that your games were always about who got power over the other? Games is flirting for House. And who said he wanted to love you? He didn't plan it. He didn't see it coming. The only time he was sure of it, was when he talked to me. When he thought you guys got together, he came to me and asked me what to do. He tried all these things that were, rookie types and mediocre. Things he's been past for quite some time. He was turning it into a case of his. So I stopped the differentials and the investigations and I asked him: "Do you want to be the man with all the answers, or do you want to be the man with Cuddy?" And he stopped, and decided to pull something he'd never done. The incident in the lobby. Which would have work, given that the hallucinations actually happened but. You get my point. We can't really--choose the ones we fall in love with. It's cruel and unfair, but its the truth."
She sat down again, but on the chair by his desk, closer from where she had been moments before. Hearing all this was overwhelming and...unbelievable.
"What are you thinking?"
"What the hell I'm supposed to do now."
"Well, normally, the logical thing to do would be to...visit him? Or at least call him? To talk about this?"
"I--don't know."
"You feel the same, don't you?"
"I guess? I don't know. I don't even know what'd I'd say to him."
"You can't seriously tell me that after everything you two have been through, you don't even feel a little something towards him in spite of the many pain in the ass things he's done. I mean, you guys didn't sleep together, but you did kiss."
"Vulnerable-comfort."
"You know he felt a sense of compassion too. If he spent a while just thinking about that kiss...how much more could it have drove you insane?"
"Huh."
"Listen to me. Right now, for him, its a fragile point in your relationship. Your...connection has been...meddled with. And it hit him harder than it hit you. So, be a comfort to him. Do what you do best."
He got up from his desk and started for the door. He was halfway through when he held the door and turned around.
"I hope you do feel the same. Otherwise there's something terribly wrong with you."
She gave a curious look. He just rolled his eyes and started laughing.
"No woman in her right mind would save a man's life a many a several times, while he harasses her and does the most unexplainable and unforgivable things. No woman Cuddy. No woman is that devoted to a pain in the ass unless she felt something."
"There is such a thing called care Wilson. I've known him for a while, saving his life seems more like a job more than something volunteered."
"Or saving his life, seems more like your moral obligation towards him?"
He smiled and walked out, leaving her to analyze the situation at hand.
///////////////////////////////////////////////////
"So, they all think the vicodin's finally got to you huh?"
"Exactly."
They were both sitting at a table alone, discussing past stories.
"Honestly? Don't think it was the vicodin."
"Why not, its plausible, logical. Probably the best answer we've got."
"With what you told me, I've seena pattern 'ere. In intervals of your life, somethin' tragic has happened. One example, your childhood. Father abused you. A good somewhat years later, you end up in a serious relationship. In which might I add, ended in plungin' downfall, which was all caused, by the damn infarction in your leg. Few years later, you piss off some guy, some way some how, and he shoots you. Twice. Years after that, you end up losin' what seemed like a great group a people. Then, a year later after they return, you go n' get yourself a new bunch. One out of that bunch b'came your best bud's girl, but then she died, which of course, left you feelin' guilty, for which I don't know why. Then, you lose the dude for like, a few weeks? That kills you. You get'em back, and as soon as you do, you and your girl make somethin' happen and it goes all dramatic. Then, you get kept hostage for a while which reminds you of the years before in which you did get shot. And then what seems to be the pusher 'ere. The whole, Kutner dude who offed himself, for which, you have no idea why, and it came as a surprise that, outta all the people, YOU did not see it coming. And that, scared the shit outta you. It hit you hard, and you got scared. And frankly, I think you even mourned a bit for the guy, cause he sounded like you actually liked'em. And that's when you broke. That's when you slowly started losing yourself, in ways you thought, impossible. But you did, even though none of the shit was your fault. And it got you landed, right in 'ere. And you know what I think the worst part is?"
"Not quite sure, I think you pretty much summed up my life right there."
"Your girl, she don't even know how you really feel. And you get to spend the next months just wonderin' if she does know, and if she feels the same. You could call. She could visit. But you can't do anythin'. You're stuck here. And havin' a relationship with someone while you're stuck in 'ere, is not the best idea. Trust me I've been there. Not a good place to stick yourself. Not b'cause you need time to heal....no...because seeing her, would be another pain. And pain is what go you here in the first place. You didn't have some emotional break down or anything, you just suffered so much over a short amount of time and your mind overloaded. You lost your sanity in the process. That's what's driving you insane. That's why, you're here. That's why, for now at least, you cannot and should not see her. For now, you cannot be with her."
She took a bite into her stale bread, and forced it down her throat, accompanied with a sour aged glass of orange juice.
"This is how I know you do belong here Nathan."
"How?"
"I can tell, you are a one crazy, manipulative and ethical bitch."
"So I've been told."
---
Nighttime
Wilson was about to leave for the night. His briefcase by the door, his jacket wrapped around him and his room cleaned up. And before he went to shut down his computer, he checked his email and as he was looking through letters of fellow oncologists and professors, he had found a straying email standing out from all the rest. It was from none other than House.
===================================================
Wilson
Hope you haven't dealt with Cuddy yet, although I have a fairly strong feeling that you have. She called me several times and left various voice mails. Go figure, you let that loose lip of yours go wandering around in others BUSINESS. Yes, I emphasized that for a reason. It's for future reference. Anyway, I had something else planned to talk to you about, but I had to e-yell at you instead. And if you're wondering what it is, it's pretty urgent. So blame yourself for that. Now, I know by the time you're done reading this thing, you're gonna wanna call me. But you can't. This particular conversation is not important to my counselors and such, despite the fact that from their position, they might see differently. So, do not call me regarding this, just via email. Can you follow those simple directions?
-House
===================================================
As he read through, he gave the occasional smirk, and he gave a good amount of eyes widening. A few clicks here and there, he replied to House, a fairly short email. After, he shut down his computer, and locked up for his journey home, thinking just what was on this guys mind.
Explaining House was already hard enough. Explaining his hallucinations to the person they were about, and who is probably the most important person to know ABOUT them, was even harder. If, THAT even makes sense.
"I really don't know how to explain it any other way."
"Well, think of another. It made sense up till, you started explaining what they meant."
"Isn't it...a given?"
"Yes."
"So what's there to explain?"
"How it's possible."
"Why not?"
"I can't even begin to...fathom, how it's possible."
"Again, why not?"
"Because--it's, House."
"Just because he's House, doesn't mean he's bereaved of feelings."
"Puh. I beg to differ."
"Can you honestly look me in the face and say that?"
"I think I just did."
"Yeah he's an ass and, his practice of narcissism is...irrefutable, but. It's also been shown that--he can get hurt. He knows that feeling oh too well. And pain...They're like best friends. So, if he knows those feelings, what makes you think he doesn't love?"
"I'm not saying he's completely stone cold person, he's relatively close, but he's fallen in love once. He crashed. He's not one to....want to experience something painful, twice."
"Yes he is. He practically thrives on pain and misery."
"You think he wanted that leg in the first place?"
"No, but its what made him the way he is."
"He doesn't want to be in pain. He doesn't want to feel miserable."
"From what his leg made of him, that's the only thing he feels he has. At least, until he realized...how deep he had really fallen."
"He likes my body, my features, and whatever else is erupting in his mind when I'm around. What we do to each other, isn't love. We do it out of annoyance and power."
"Oh please. Do you honestly think that your games were always about who got power over the other? Games is flirting for House. And who said he wanted to love you? He didn't plan it. He didn't see it coming. The only time he was sure of it, was when he talked to me. When he thought you guys got together, he came to me and asked me what to do. He tried all these things that were, rookie types and mediocre. Things he's been past for quite some time. He was turning it into a case of his. So I stopped the differentials and the investigations and I asked him: "Do you want to be the man with all the answers, or do you want to be the man with Cuddy?" And he stopped, and decided to pull something he'd never done. The incident in the lobby. Which would have work, given that the hallucinations actually happened but. You get my point. We can't really--choose the ones we fall in love with. It's cruel and unfair, but its the truth."
She sat down again, but on the chair by his desk, closer from where she had been moments before. Hearing all this was overwhelming and...unbelievable.
"What are you thinking?"
"What the hell I'm supposed to do now."
"Well, normally, the logical thing to do would be to...visit him? Or at least call him? To talk about this?"
"I--don't know."
"You feel the same, don't you?"
"I guess? I don't know. I don't even know what'd I'd say to him."
"You can't seriously tell me that after everything you two have been through, you don't even feel a little something towards him in spite of the many pain in the ass things he's done. I mean, you guys didn't sleep together, but you did kiss."
"Vulnerable-comfort."
"You know he felt a sense of compassion too. If he spent a while just thinking about that kiss...how much more could it have drove you insane?"
"Huh."
"Listen to me. Right now, for him, its a fragile point in your relationship. Your...connection has been...meddled with. And it hit him harder than it hit you. So, be a comfort to him. Do what you do best."
He got up from his desk and started for the door. He was halfway through when he held the door and turned around.
"I hope you do feel the same. Otherwise there's something terribly wrong with you."
She gave a curious look. He just rolled his eyes and started laughing.
"No woman in her right mind would save a man's life a many a several times, while he harasses her and does the most unexplainable and unforgivable things. No woman Cuddy. No woman is that devoted to a pain in the ass unless she felt something."
"There is such a thing called care Wilson. I've known him for a while, saving his life seems more like a job more than something volunteered."
"Or saving his life, seems more like your moral obligation towards him?"
He smiled and walked out, leaving her to analyze the situation at hand.
///////////////////////////////////////////////////
"So, they all think the vicodin's finally got to you huh?"
"Exactly."
They were both sitting at a table alone, discussing past stories.
"Honestly? Don't think it was the vicodin."
"Why not, its plausible, logical. Probably the best answer we've got."
"With what you told me, I've seena pattern 'ere. In intervals of your life, somethin' tragic has happened. One example, your childhood. Father abused you. A good somewhat years later, you end up in a serious relationship. In which might I add, ended in plungin' downfall, which was all caused, by the damn infarction in your leg. Few years later, you piss off some guy, some way some how, and he shoots you. Twice. Years after that, you end up losin' what seemed like a great group a people. Then, a year later after they return, you go n' get yourself a new bunch. One out of that bunch b'came your best bud's girl, but then she died, which of course, left you feelin' guilty, for which I don't know why. Then, you lose the dude for like, a few weeks? That kills you. You get'em back, and as soon as you do, you and your girl make somethin' happen and it goes all dramatic. Then, you get kept hostage for a while which reminds you of the years before in which you did get shot. And then what seems to be the pusher 'ere. The whole, Kutner dude who offed himself, for which, you have no idea why, and it came as a surprise that, outta all the people, YOU did not see it coming. And that, scared the shit outta you. It hit you hard, and you got scared. And frankly, I think you even mourned a bit for the guy, cause he sounded like you actually liked'em. And that's when you broke. That's when you slowly started losing yourself, in ways you thought, impossible. But you did, even though none of the shit was your fault. And it got you landed, right in 'ere. And you know what I think the worst part is?"
"Not quite sure, I think you pretty much summed up my life right there."
"Your girl, she don't even know how you really feel. And you get to spend the next months just wonderin' if she does know, and if she feels the same. You could call. She could visit. But you can't do anythin'. You're stuck here. And havin' a relationship with someone while you're stuck in 'ere, is not the best idea. Trust me I've been there. Not a good place to stick yourself. Not b'cause you need time to heal....no...because seeing her, would be another pain. And pain is what go you here in the first place. You didn't have some emotional break down or anything, you just suffered so much over a short amount of time and your mind overloaded. You lost your sanity in the process. That's what's driving you insane. That's why, you're here. That's why, for now at least, you cannot and should not see her. For now, you cannot be with her."
She took a bite into her stale bread, and forced it down her throat, accompanied with a sour aged glass of orange juice.
"This is how I know you do belong here Nathan."
"How?"
"I can tell, you are a one crazy, manipulative and ethical bitch."
"So I've been told."
---
Nighttime
Wilson was about to leave for the night. His briefcase by the door, his jacket wrapped around him and his room cleaned up. And before he went to shut down his computer, he checked his email and as he was looking through letters of fellow oncologists and professors, he had found a straying email standing out from all the rest. It was from none other than House.
===================================================
Wilson
Hope you haven't dealt with Cuddy yet, although I have a fairly strong feeling that you have. She called me several times and left various voice mails. Go figure, you let that loose lip of yours go wandering around in others BUSINESS. Yes, I emphasized that for a reason. It's for future reference. Anyway, I had something else planned to talk to you about, but I had to e-yell at you instead. And if you're wondering what it is, it's pretty urgent. So blame yourself for that. Now, I know by the time you're done reading this thing, you're gonna wanna call me. But you can't. This particular conversation is not important to my counselors and such, despite the fact that from their position, they might see differently. So, do not call me regarding this, just via email. Can you follow those simple directions?
-House
===================================================
As he read through, he gave the occasional smirk, and he gave a good amount of eyes widening. A few clicks here and there, he replied to House, a fairly short email. After, he shut down his computer, and locked up for his journey home, thinking just what was on this guys mind.
