All police leave was cancelled today in Dubai as UK band JLS jetted in for a brief holiday. Every cop has been put on 24 hour stand-by and compulsory overtime has been introduced for the first time ever. As aeroplane-loads of crazed female fans converged on the holiday paradise it immediately appears that a major incident is inevitable.
Alcohol is banned in Dubai. So any thoughts of drinking wine in the open - either by the pool - or beside the glistening ocean will have to be forgotten. It is a land of strict Muslim rule.
But the real problem is SEX.
Public displays of sex are completely forbidden. Even a peck on the cheek is likely to see a couple dragged away in an armed van. Go a step further - close the eyes, swap tongues and enjoy a bit of mutual stroking - and anyone can forget about catching the flight home.
And girls. Be careful about them puppies. Keep them to yourselves. Know what I mean!!
Worst case scenario: being caught 'doing' it on the beach in the middle of the night. Expect to find yourself in court the next morning to hear a judge who only speaks Arabic wagging his finger and telling you that you've been sentenced to 10 years in prison.
JLS - be warned!
"I'm comin here for de birds. An I don't mean sparrows - if you know what I mean", announced Marvin this morning as he stepped off the plane.
"This is my chance to get myself a girlfriend", explained Aston. "I've made a text offer to Cheryl Cole but until she says she'll 'ave dinner wiv me, I'm open to all offers like".
Meanwhile Oritse and JB were spotted dragging a huge suitcase which had a giant size X on it and the words 'Beware - Handle With Care'.
"Dese are our supply of condoms for the week", they explained.
Alcohol is banned in Dubai. So any thoughts of drinking wine in the open - either by the pool - or beside the glistening ocean will have to be forgotten. It is a land of strict Muslim rule.
But the real problem is SEX.
Public displays of sex are completely forbidden. Even a peck on the cheek is likely to see a couple dragged away in an armed van. Go a step further - close the eyes, swap tongues and enjoy a bit of mutual stroking - and anyone can forget about catching the flight home.
And girls. Be careful about them puppies. Keep them to yourselves. Know what I mean!!
Worst case scenario: being caught 'doing' it on the beach in the middle of the night. Expect to find yourself in court the next morning to hear a judge who only speaks Arabic wagging his finger and telling you that you've been sentenced to 10 years in prison.
JLS - be warned!
"I'm comin here for de birds. An I don't mean sparrows - if you know what I mean", announced Marvin this morning as he stepped off the plane.
"This is my chance to get myself a girlfriend", explained Aston. "I've made a text offer to Cheryl Cole but until she says she'll 'ave dinner wiv me, I'm open to all offers like".
Meanwhile Oritse and JB were spotted dragging a huge suitcase which had a giant size X on it and the words 'Beware - Handle With Care'.
"Dese are our supply of condoms for the week", they explained.
After their phenomenal success in Britain, JLS seem intent on conquering the American market.
The former X Factor runners-up have headed stateside to work on their second album.
And it appears the boyband have wasted no time in acquainting themselves with some influential stars from across the pond.
According to the Mirror, JLS are hanging out with US celebrities such as Kanye West and Jay Z.
The band have been taken under the wing of former Sugababe Keisha Buchanan, who is also in LA recording her debut solo album and has introduced them to some of her big name fiends.
A source told the news provider: "It's all go for JLS, and there's even talk of a collaboration with Keisha - who is already making waves with music honchos."
JLS return home to the UK later this year where they will begin a country-wide tour, starting at the Aberdeen Exhibition and Conference Centre on November 29th
The former X Factor runners-up have headed stateside to work on their second album.
And it appears the boyband have wasted no time in acquainting themselves with some influential stars from across the pond.
According to the Mirror, JLS are hanging out with US celebrities such as Kanye West and Jay Z.
The band have been taken under the wing of former Sugababe Keisha Buchanan, who is also in LA recording her debut solo album and has introduced them to some of her big name fiends.
A source told the news provider: "It's all go for JLS, and there's even talk of a collaboration with Keisha - who is already making waves with music honchos."
JLS return home to the UK later this year where they will begin a country-wide tour, starting at the Aberdeen Exhibition and Conference Centre on November 29th
