You may not believe this, but this is how Derpy was born.
It all started in Frenchtown New Jersey, a quaint little city, with many friendly people, right next to the delware river. However on the other side of Frenchtown was a place in Pennsylvania taken over by the Japanese military. It found a new weapon that can make people unborn when they do a certain thing.
Two soldiers, Suzanne, and Josh were assigned to destroy a bridge in the Pennsy side of the delaware river, then return to Washington D.C once the mission was done.
Suzanne: What are we destroying this bridge for?
Josh: So the japanese cannot get into Frenchtown.
Suzanne: They'll find a way once we destroy it.
Josh: It's just going to buy us some time. Once they get past, they'll have defenses to attack.
Suzanne: This isn't worth it. *runs*
Josh: Get back here private!
Suzanne: No
Josh: Do as I say, or you'll die!
Japanese captain: Fire the unborn weapon
Japanese Corporal: *shoots Suzanne*
Suzanne: *falls*
Josh: You japanese fucks! *shoots corporal*
Captain: *grabs rpg* Sayōnara. *shoots Josh*
After that U.S helicopters arrived, and the Japanese retreated.
Suzanne: *wakes up* Where am I? Josh?
Josh: Hello asshole. You happy? I'm dead now.
Suzanne: Then how are you-
Josh: I'm in your imagination. Now listen, don't go over the delaware river. That's what the japs want you to do so that you'll be unborn.
Suzanne: I have to though.
Josh: Obviously you don't understand. If you cross the delaware river, you'll be unborn!
Suzanne: I don't care. I can't even remember what my name is, I've gone cross-eyed, and-
Josh: Don't do it
Suzanne: I WANT MUFFINS! *walks toward bridge*
Josh: Ok, so you really can't remember your own name?
Suzanne: Yup. Infact, I can't remember anything.
Josh: Alright. Your name is Derpy.
Suzanne: I love that name!
Josh: Good, because that's who you are.
Suzanne: What about my last name?
Josh: Uh let's see here, *looks at feet* Feet.
Suzanne: Derpy Feet! I love it!
Josh: Great. So you really wanna cross the delware?
Suzanne: I have to. I'm gonna get some muffins!
Josh: Alright, but if you get any closer to the other side, you get younger.
Suzanne: Really? How old am i now?
Josh: 50. Now about you being unborn.
Suzanne: *gets on bridge* I wonder what kind of muffins they have. Or maybe even..
Josh: As I was saying.
Suzanne: BUBBLES!
Josh: Will you stop talking?! That'll make you unborn before you even get across, and there's something important I have to tell you.
Suzanne: *nods head*
Josh: When you do become unborn, there's a possibility that you'll be reborn, but as a different species in a different world.
Suzanne: Whatever, let's just get muffins.
Josh: Keep talking, and it won't happen. Right now you are 35. Let's keep going.
Suzanne: *continues walking*
Josh. 33. 32
Suzanne: Why are you counting?
Josh: Twenty two.
Suzanne: sorry.
Josh: 12. Almost there. 11
Suzanne: *walks*
Josh: 10. 9. 8. 7. 6. 5. 4. 3. And..
Suzanne: *gets into Frenchtown*
Josh: you're unborn.
Meanwhile in Equestria.
Nurse: Sir, your new foal is here.
Hungry: What is it?
Nurse: It's a filly!
Hungry: Alright.
Wife: She has the same color mane as you.
Hungry: And the fur.
Nurse: What will you name your foal?
Derpy: derp.
hungry: Derpy.
And that's how Derpy was born. She was always having fun, even when she broke the rules.
The End.
It all started in Frenchtown New Jersey, a quaint little city, with many friendly people, right next to the delware river. However on the other side of Frenchtown was a place in Pennsylvania taken over by the Japanese military. It found a new weapon that can make people unborn when they do a certain thing.
Two soldiers, Suzanne, and Josh were assigned to destroy a bridge in the Pennsy side of the delaware river, then return to Washington D.C once the mission was done.
Suzanne: What are we destroying this bridge for?
Josh: So the japanese cannot get into Frenchtown.
Suzanne: They'll find a way once we destroy it.
Josh: It's just going to buy us some time. Once they get past, they'll have defenses to attack.
Suzanne: This isn't worth it. *runs*
Josh: Get back here private!
Suzanne: No
Josh: Do as I say, or you'll die!
Japanese captain: Fire the unborn weapon
Japanese Corporal: *shoots Suzanne*
Suzanne: *falls*
Josh: You japanese fucks! *shoots corporal*
Captain: *grabs rpg* Sayōnara. *shoots Josh*
After that U.S helicopters arrived, and the Japanese retreated.
Suzanne: *wakes up* Where am I? Josh?
Josh: Hello asshole. You happy? I'm dead now.
Suzanne: Then how are you-
Josh: I'm in your imagination. Now listen, don't go over the delaware river. That's what the japs want you to do so that you'll be unborn.
Suzanne: I have to though.
Josh: Obviously you don't understand. If you cross the delaware river, you'll be unborn!
Suzanne: I don't care. I can't even remember what my name is, I've gone cross-eyed, and-
Josh: Don't do it
Suzanne: I WANT MUFFINS! *walks toward bridge*
Josh: Ok, so you really can't remember your own name?
Suzanne: Yup. Infact, I can't remember anything.
Josh: Alright. Your name is Derpy.
Suzanne: I love that name!
Josh: Good, because that's who you are.
Suzanne: What about my last name?
Josh: Uh let's see here, *looks at feet* Feet.
Suzanne: Derpy Feet! I love it!
Josh: Great. So you really wanna cross the delware?
Suzanne: I have to. I'm gonna get some muffins!
Josh: Alright, but if you get any closer to the other side, you get younger.
Suzanne: Really? How old am i now?
Josh: 50. Now about you being unborn.
Suzanne: *gets on bridge* I wonder what kind of muffins they have. Or maybe even..
Josh: As I was saying.
Suzanne: BUBBLES!
Josh: Will you stop talking?! That'll make you unborn before you even get across, and there's something important I have to tell you.
Suzanne: *nods head*
Josh: When you do become unborn, there's a possibility that you'll be reborn, but as a different species in a different world.
Suzanne: Whatever, let's just get muffins.
Josh: Keep talking, and it won't happen. Right now you are 35. Let's keep going.
Suzanne: *continues walking*
Josh. 33. 32
Suzanne: Why are you counting?
Josh: Twenty two.
Suzanne: sorry.
Josh: 12. Almost there. 11
Suzanne: *walks*
Josh: 10. 9. 8. 7. 6. 5. 4. 3. And..
Suzanne: *gets into Frenchtown*
Josh: you're unborn.
Meanwhile in Equestria.
Nurse: Sir, your new foal is here.
Hungry: What is it?
Nurse: It's a filly!
Hungry: Alright.
Wife: She has the same color mane as you.
Hungry: And the fur.
Nurse: What will you name your foal?
Derpy: derp.
hungry: Derpy.
And that's how Derpy was born. She was always having fun, even when she broke the rules.
The End.
Christine Hooves (Derpy's mom)
Hungry Hooves (Derpy's dad)
