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EPISODE ONE:

Spike: [snoring]

Twilight: Let's go through this one more time.

Rainbow Dash: [sighs] We've been over it like a million times, Twilight! We found all six keys, defeated Tirek, and got this sweet castle! End of story!

Twilight: Yes, but why?

Applejack: I dunno, sugarcube. Maybe it's just your new house and there ain't nothin' more to it than that.

Rarity: I must say, speaking strictly on aesthetics, there really doesn't need to be more to it. It's all simply divine!

Fluttershy: I agree with Twilight. And Rarity. And Applejack. And Rainbow Dash. And Pinkie Pie. Oh, and probably Spike.

Spike: [snoring]

---------------------------------------------------

Twilight: As princess, I've been chosen to spread the magic of friendship across Equestria. So why would the Tree of Harmony want us to sit in a castle in Ponyville? It doesn't make any sense.

Fluttershy: But if this is Ponyville, why are our cutie marks over there?

Twilight: I don't know. But it seems like the map wants us to find out. The Tree, the chest, this castle, and now the map. How can we ''not'' follow it?

---------------------------------------------------

(skips to them waiting for the train)

Twilight: Hey girls, I'm still looking at this map. The place seems to be somewhere in Fillydefia. So how would we know exactly where it is, if we never been to fillydefia..

Pinkie: Yeah.. I, sort of thought of that. So I, sort of, invited, someone else..

Twilight: Like who?

Saten: (suddenly appears, clearly drunk) ALRIGGHT! LET'S DO THIS!

Pinkie: (sighs) Saten, you told me you weren't gonna drink..

Saten: (to Pinkie, still clearly drunk) W Would you and the twins relax.. I, I's got this.. (hiccup).. (trips and literary falls into the train)..

---------------------------------------------------

Rainbow Dash: "this" is the were the the map sent us? It looks like the most boring place in Equestria.

AppleJack: It's just as ordinary town, full of ordinary pony folk.

Twilight: Satan Twist. Your from Fillydefia, any idea what this place is called?

Satan: That's just it. I never seen this place before. Which is weird..

Twilight: Hmm.. That "is" weird.

Fluttershy: I think it's lovely.

Satan: (groans) of coarse you do.

Pinkie (sees everyone in town with creepy smiles, like this a cult or something): I don't like it. I Don't like it one bit.. I mean look how their smiling. And those just aren't right.

Twilight: Forget the smiles. Look at the cutie marks!

Rainbow Dash: Okay. "that's" weird!

Twilight: An entire town of the same cutie mark!? How could that be!?

Rainbow Dash: I bet there's some sort of horrific monster behind it.

Twilight: What makes you say that?

Rainbow Dash: Because fighting a horrific monster would be super-awesome!

AppleJack: Ah reckon we just ought to head into shown and talk to some locals. They could tell us what's going on.

Rainbow Dash: Good idea AJ. Let's go!

Saten: (sighs) fine..

---------------------------------------------------

Double Diamond: (knocking on door) Starlight. We have new visitors.

Starlight Glimmer, leader of the "cult", comes out of her home.

Starlight: Welcome, welcome.

Saten: Oh my god.. She's so hot!

The main six look at him weirdly.

Satan: What?

Starlight Glimmer: Welcome! I'm so pleased to have you here.

Double Diamond: This is Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, and Twilight Sparkle... And, umm... We never got the red one's name..

Saten: I'm Saten Twist.. But you could call me anything you want.

Starlight Glimmer: Riiight..

Starlight Glimmer: (turns her attention to Twilight) Forgive my bluntness, but I'm assuming it's Princess Twilight Sparkle? We don't get many Alicorns around here.

Twilight Sparkle: Yes, but "Twilight" is fine.

Starlight Glimmer: So! How did you hear of our little village?

Twilight Sparkle: It's kind of a long story. Let's just say we found it on a map.

Pinkie Pie: Technically, it's a Tree-chest-castle-map!

Starlight Glimmer: Well, however you found us, we're happy to have you! We're happy to have anypony who wants to experience true friendship for the first time.

Applejack: Say what?

Starlight Glimmer: Oh, indeed. That's what's so unique about our village, you see. Around here, we don't flaunt our special talents because we don't have any special talents to flaunt.

Saten: Okay she's getting less hot. She's creeping me out.

Pinkie: ... Me too.

Starlight Glimmer: Perhaps it would be easier to understand if I gave you a tour of the village!

(Song begins)

Starlight Glimmer: (singing) Life is so grand in Our Town. We're always filled with cheer. We never have to look around. To know that we're all here.

Citizens: (singing) In Our Town, in Our Town We don't have to wait. To find out that our destiny. Is just to emulate.

Saten: This is getting weird.. (Pinkie nodes in agreement).

Starlight Glimmer: (singing) Let's see those big, happy smiles! Life is a smile in Our Town. Our cutie marks the same. Because we do not separate. Ourselves by more than name.

Citizens: (singing) In Our Town, in Our Town We dare not compete. Winning only breeds the worst Ego-filled conceit.

Starlight Glimmer: (singing) You see? Now everybody wins! Life is a joy in Our Town We're all equal here No one is superior And no one shakes in fear.

Citizens: (singing) Our Town, in Our Town/ We work as a team. You can't have a nightmare If you never dream.

Saten: Is anyone else creeped out by that dream line?

Dash: Oh you caught it too huh?

Twilight: Shh.

Starlight Glimmer: (still singing) Other ponies argue. Do you ever wonder why? When you think your talent's special/ You don't see eye-to-eye. There's just too many differences. That lead to disarray. But when you learn to act as one It's like a holiday.

Citizens: In Our Town, in Our Town. We don't complicate. When you learn to simplify Life is oh, so great. Join in our utopia. Come out of the dark Banded by equality. By our cutie mark!

Rainbow Dash: [laughing] You're kidding, right? Give up our cutie marks? No wa-

Saten: (excitedly) I'm in!

Twilight snd Pinkie: (who are both his closest friends of the group) What?!

Saten: I'm serious, I always hated my cutie mark, I always tell you that..

Rainbow Dash: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Is he for real!?

Saten: Hey.. Your not the one who spend your entire life with the wrong cutie mark!

Starlight Glimmer: Terrfiic.. Welcome to the herd Saten.. Nobody has ever entered it, and ever wanted to leave.

---------------------------------------------------

LATER THAT SAME EVENING:

The main six were gathered at a table.

Pinkie: (tearfully, Twilight holding her as comfortingly) I can't believe it, Saten is gone..

Twilight: Oh, he'll be back.. He's just trying to impress that Starlight girl..

AJ: Ah don't know Twilight. He did always tell me he hate his cutie mark, I mean he was serious about that.. I think this is more than just having a crush on that girl.

Twilight: Well. Wait really.. Okay now 'am' worried.

AJ: (pats her) Don't worry, we're get him back.

---------------------------------------------------

MEANWHILE:

Starlight Glimmer kept her promise and not only removed Saten's awful cutie mark, but also allowed him in their group.

Starlight Glimmer: It's always nice to have someone who truely believes in our ways.. Though sorry it might of cost you respect from your friends..

Saten: It'll be alright.

---------------------------------------------------

After a series of mishaps the main six ended up joining too,end up imprisoned and their cutie marks removed by Starlight. Though by that point Fluttershy ended up joining the town too.. But acting as a spy.

---------------------------------------------------

Jail cell:

Starlight Glimmer: [slightly muffled, over loudspeaker] In sameness, there is peace. Exceptionalism is a lie... Free yourself from your cutie mark. Choose equality as your special talent.

Twilight: Ugh, we've gotta find a way out of here! I can't take much more of that voice!

---------------------------------------------------

Saten and Fluttershy: Starlight. I think we might have a new friend joining us.

Twilight: (comes out of the room, and is the said "new friend").

Starlight Glimmer: Ahh, so you finally came to your senses and are joining us..

Twilight: I.. I guess.. Are you sure I'll be happy here?

Starlight Glimmer: Coarse you will.. Just ask Saten here.

Twilight: But you sure I can't keep my old cutie mark.

Starlight Glimmer: Outta the question., a pony with a different cutie mark will destory everything..

Fluttershy: then explain THIS! (throws water bucket onto Starlight Glimmer, splashing her).

Starlight Glimmer: I knew you couldn't be trusted!

But unfortunately for Starlight Glimmer, this reveals her real cutie mark was undernearth, she was wearing makeup,

Party Favor: You still have your cutie map!

Saten: Wait what?

Fluttershy: It's true Saten. Yeah, she lied!

Party Favor: How could you!?

Double Diamond: Yeah., what about all that talking cutie marks being evil, and stuff.

Starlight Glimmer: T- They are!

Double Diamond: then why you still have yours!?... The staff was all the magic we needed!

Starlight Glimmer: (sighs).. The "staff" is just a stick I found.. I'M the magic!... Look.. Everything I said was still true! Your all be living your miserable lives!.. I made us equal!

Saten: But you lied to them..


Suger Belle: Yeah, you think you will get away with this, becaus-

Starlight Glimmer: Oh look at that! (points at something, and when they do so, she runs for it).

---------------------------------------------------

Skips to the main six trying to break into Statlight's house to get their cutie marks.

Saten: Let me try.. (dramatically raises his front hooves at the door) Open sesame!

Nothing happens.

Saten: (feeling defeated) well I did all I could do.

---------------------------------------------------

Skips to when our heroes are waiting to get back on the train back to ponyville. Starlight got away, but the town was saved from her cult leader grip.

Saten: Gotta admit.. It feels good to help people.

Twilight: You should come with us more often..

Pinkie: Yeah we love having you.

Rarity/Dash: Meh.

Saten: Hey AppleJack.. Maybe you could finally go out with me again.. Considering I helped you get back your cutie mark.

AppleJack: I told you Saten. We're only friends.. We tried going out, it didn't work..

Saten: (sadly) Ohhh..

Twilight: I don't know why your still trying, I mean Trixie is the one who's all over you..

Saten: (finally realizes) Your right!.. (starts flying off) And I know where she is! (flies off)

Rainbow: Is he leaving us?

Twilight: (smiles) For now.. He'll meet us later.

---------------------------------------------------

Not far from the town, Trixie finished one of her magic acts and was heading home to her RV, she's a traveller so she lives in a RV so she can do so.

Suddenly Saten appeared out of seemingly nowhere, scaring her.

Trixie: Saten?! What you doing here?

Saten: I -I came to watch you.

Trixie: Saten, I been a magician for nearly ten years, you never came to watch me.

Saten: Yeah well... I, I really need to talk to you.

Trixie: Yeah well.. I'm not in the mood.. It's been a long day.. I just want to go home and take a nap.

Saten: ... Do you still love me?

Trixie: (freezes)... Well... Yeah... But was tired of stringing me along.

Saten: Well not anymore, I mean-

Trixie: No wait.. Let me guess, blondie dumped you again.. And now your finally gonna ask me out.. But only to make her jealous..

Saten: No.. I'm not here cause of AppleJack, I mean she finally got it though to me, she doesn't love me. Least not in that way,

Trixie: Well sorry to hear that. But then why are you here?

Saten: Well, truth is.. (holds Trixie's hooves, lovingly).. Twilight was right. All these years I spent chasing after AppleJack, when she clearly didn't the same.. Yet the real women I should of been trying for, it was you Trixie. Your the one who loves me.

Trixie pauses again, her beautiful purple eyes are seen properly during that moment.

Trixie: ... Well, it's not like I wasn't throwing hints.

Saten: I know Trixie.. I, I was stupid.

Trixie: (laughs) yes you were. (squeezes the hands a bit).

Saten: ... A, Anyway. What you say cutie? Wanna be my girlfriend?

Trixie pauses one more time, to think.

Trixie: ... (lets go) It's a little late Saten.

Saten: :(

Trixie: (pulls him close) Oh just kidding, I can never stay mad at you.. (presses them together) Now come here. (kisses him on the lips, Saten pauses before giving it back, the whole kiss lasting least 30 seconds).

Trixie pulls away, leaving a small silence.

Trixie: I uh, better go.. (leaves) Remember to call me.

Saten: (blushing) Of coarse, of coarse.




EPISODE 2:

Saten finally took a second train back to Ponyville. But he doesn't make it far from the station when suddenly...

Loud police microphone: GET DOWN ON THE GROUND ASSHOLE! (Saten freaks out and hides on the ground surrendering)

Master Sword: (comes into view, driving police car). Hahaha! Gotcha.. Naw, it's just me.

Saten: Sword? You scared th- Oh shit, did you steal cop car!?.. That's crazy!

Master Sword: No, what's crazy. Is leaving it unintended, anyone cold of stole it.. Prove.. I did!

Saten: But dude! You can't steal police cars! You know how illage that is!?

Master Sword: Pffffft, who will pull over a police car.

Saten: I- ... Wow., your actually right.

Master Sword: Have I ever NOT been right?

---------------------------------------------------

(shows an image of Saten about to be lite from a powerful cannon in a very dangerious and unprofessional way, and Master Sword giving him thumbs up, as it was Master Sword's idea).

---------------------------------------------------

Master Sword is still driving the police car, Saten is now in the passinager seat.

Saten: I still can't believe you pulled this off dude.. And now your even speeding.

Master Sword: Right?!

Radio: Car 53, we're you heading in such a hurry?

Master Sword: Oh shit that's us.. Uhhh... There's uh., bank robbery.

Radio: There's a bank robbery!?

Master Sword: Yes, we're.. We're heading their now! (turns on the Sirons and starts speeding).

Saten: Dude, we're are you going!?

Master Sword: Didn't you hear! Theirs a bank robbery!

Saten: What!? No theirs not-

Master Sword: PROTECT AND SERVE MOTHER FU-

---------------------------------------------------

Suddenly the car crashes right into the said bank.

Master Sword (holding handgun): YOUR BEING ROBBED!

---------------------------------------------------

(Sword and Saten arrive into the back of the bank)

Saten: Dude, what are you doing!?

Master Sword: No talk! We gotta take all this cash!

Saten: Soooo, nobody can steal it?

Master Sword: Uh, yeah!

Saten: Hmmm , Good idea (starts grabbing money bags)

---------------------------------------------------

(Outside)

Sword and Saten are sneaking off with money bags..

Cops: FREEZE!

Saten: Oh shit! We're so dead!

Master Sword: Leave it to me... (To the pony mov cops), it's alright!.. We're cops!

(Long silence)

---------------------------------------------------

Sword and Saten are suddenly thrown into a jail cell.

Master Sword: Damn it! I was so so sure that was gonna work!

---------------------------------------------------

LATER THAT SAME EVENING:

Trixie: (answers her phone) Hello?

Saten: Hey cutie!

Trixie: Saten?

Saten: You said to call you.

Trixie: Well, yes, but this isn't a good time, I'm about to perform... I'll call you back, promise.

Saten: Wait, wait, this is my- (Trixie hangs up).. Last... Phone call..

Saten: (Angrily points at Sword) THIS IS YOUR FAULT!

Master Sword: Still, look at it this way... It could be worse!

Saten: Worse?

Master Sword: Yeah. You could be a red Pegasus.

Saten: ... (looks at himself, seeing he 'is' a red pegasus) (Sighs) Well, this is the end.. (Falls on the cell bed, feeling defeated).

Master Sword: I wouldn't count on it.. I may know someone who can get us outta this.

---------------------------------------------------

LATER:

Pony: And that's why you should let my client go..

Judge: Please sir. your client Master Sword has been caught robbing a blank with a stolen police car... And all you did was show up, sit down, and say "that's why you should let him go"..

Pony: ... I'll give you twenty bucks.

Judge: DONE! (pounds hammer).




EPISODE 3:

Saten: So glad your finally in ponyville..

Trixie: I'm a traveller babe, so it's not permanent yet, remember that.

Saten: Yeah, but two week!

Trixie: Indeed, enojy it while you can... (Looks around, seeing a fast food resturant) but is this really the best you can get for our first 'real' date?

Saten: I'm sorry., but I'm kinda broke these days..

Trixie: Oh why didn't you say so, I make a 'lot' of money.

Saten: No, no.. I couldn't possibly take my girlfriends money like that.

Trixie: (playfully) but your fine with stealing her fries?

Saten: Just the curly ones you don't like..

Trixie: No, I love them, and save them for last, but their gone, cause you ate them..

Saten: ... Oh.

---------------------------------------------------

LATER ON:

(Knock on AppleJack's door)

AJ: (opens it) ... Trixie? Is that you?

Trixie: Yeah it's me.. I just, I feel we got on the wrong foot.. I was so jealous of you and Saten, that I that never gotten to know you.

AJ: Oh trust me sweetie, there was nothing to be jealous of, it was pretty one sided, pretty sure he just wanted me for my looks.. I can tell he's taking yours a lot more seriously, and it's great to see actually. I mean he's a new man now, almost sad I let him go. I mean maybe he would of been a better boyfriend if he had you first.. You even got him top stop drinking.

Trixie: Well, it's a working progress. He does it less at least..

AJ: Well hope he doesn't do anything stupid, I mean he'll be crazy to let you go. You two are so adorable together.

Trixie smiles.

---------------------------------------------------

SEVERAL DAYS LATER:

Saten: So, in conclusion, I believe the painful sensation felt after passing a meal of spicy chill is proof that the rectum does indeed possess the sense of taste.

Trixie: Fascinating, but you changed the subject. What are we doing for hearts and hoove's Day?

Saten: ... Oh, you caught that, did you?

Trixie: Come on Saten, you know I can only be here for so long., It was part of the deal... And I don't remember the last time you even did anything romantic?

Saten: Sure I do.. I got you that flower.

Trixie: It was Poison Ivy.

Saten: How was I suppose to know that?!

Trixie: It had a sign saying it was Poison Ivy.

Saten: ...

Trixie: Saten.. You know I love you.. But AppleJack is right, you need-

Saten: Wait, you spoke to my ex?

Trixie: Yeah. Real sweetheart actually.. But frankly she said that you probably won't do better than me.

Saten: ... She's not wrong. She herself is proof of it.

Trixie: Indeed.. So all I ask is you please try to take our relationship a little more seriously.

Saten: Fair enough.. I will try.

Trixie: I'm sure you will (kisses his cheek).

---------------------------------------------------

Meanwhile at a resturant, Sword is on a date with Derpy. Master Sword is a green earth pony with short blonde hair with blue eyes, Derpy is also blonde, and is a gray pegasus.. While at it I'll describe Trixie. She's a light blue unicorn pony with beautiful purple eyes, and sometimes wears a big wizard hat.

Derpy: I really messed up on those invitations! I feel just awful!

Master Sword (not listening): God I can't believe I chose Cake N' Bake, I forgot how much I hate this place!

Derpy: I told Cranky I could get 'em printed for cheap, but that meant hiring somebody with no experience using a printing press... Oh, I wish there was a way I could go back in time and fix all this.

Sword (not listening): ... Tonight I'll leave a louy tip, and than send my meal back, even though it's 'exactly' what I ordered!

Derpy: Is it possible were having two different conversations?

Sword: How should I know, I'm not listening to you!

---------------------------------------------------

SATEN/DERPY'S APARTMENT:

Saten and Derpy find each other at their shared apartment somewhere in ponyville downtown. Not much bigger than my real life one, just has too bedrooms, one for each of them.

Saten: Derpy, I need to your opinion about something.

Derpy: I was gonna tell you the same thing. If I don't do something about this wrong day mishap, I'm not sure if Cranky Danky will ever forgive me.

Saten: (not listening) Trixie wants me to try being a better boyfriend. I'm not sure what to do.

Derpy: (also not listening) Oh, I wish there was a way I could go back in time and fix all this.

Saten (still not listening): Maybe I should ask AppleJack for advice. She does seem to be rooting for me and Trixie.

Derpy (same): I offered Danky a refund but it didn't help too much.

Saten: Perhaps I should bring an notepad. List the things AppleJack will say..

Derpy: You know what? I'll probably end up making a list.

Saten: I'm glad we talked.

Derpy: I'm always here for you cousin.

Saten: Me too.

---------------------------------------------------

Labatory:

Dr. Hooves: Going back in time is old thinking, my friend. I was working off a cutting-edge theory of making time come forward to you... My life's work, decades – centuries, really – of research and experimentation, and I nearly had it cracked! Turns out there's a magic spell for it. Who knew?

Master Sword: Yeah, yeah, yeah... So will you help Derpy or not?.. I felt bad about how didn't take Derpy's issues seriously.

Dr. Hooves: What's in it for me?

Master Sword: I'll give you that soda you like.

Dr. Hooves: Fine.

---------------------------------------------------

LATER:

Saten: Hello AppleJack.

AppleJack: (with the other girls as they discuss a plan) Ah can't talk wait now Saten.

Saten: But would you help me be a better boyfriend for Trixie.

AppleJack: Fine, but later.

Saten: Well, I should get goin-

Twi: Saten, wait.. You know how we put you as part of our group now?

Saten: What about it?

Pinkie: We need you your help., Something's coming.

Saten: (groans) What is it THIS time?

---------------------------------------------------

Octavia: Why are Saten and the girls huddled up like that? Do we know what they're on about?

Apple Bloom: The way they're huddled up like that, I'd say it's either a friendship problem or a monster attack.

Octavia: (naively believing her) A monster attack?! Blast! I'm performing at the ceremony this afternoon, and I still haven't sorted out what to play. How am I meant to practice with a monster invading Ponyville?

Sweetie Belle: Maybe it's just a friendship problem, and it'll all be cleared up in half an hour or so.

Octavia: [groan] I hope so.

Matilda (runs over): Where's Pinkie Pie?! I need my wedding planner!

Conveniently this it dose reveal there 'is' a monster attacking ponyville. And the main six (well 7) fight against it.

Derpy: (ignoring the fight in the background) What am I gonna do? [gasp] Matilda! I feel so bad about the invitations! Is there anything I can do-

Matilda: FLOWERS!

Derpy: Flowers! got it! (flies off to get flowers).

---------------------------------------------------

SEVERAL DAYS LATER:

Master Sword: There you are! My suit has vanished and this was the only thing left in my closet! How do I look?

Derpy: Like a million bits!

---------------------------------------------------

Saten: *drinking at a bar, his head bandaged a little from the earlier attack*.

Bartender: Don't you think you had enough?

Saten: *a bit drunk*I don't tell you how to live YOUR life!

Trixie: *comes over and finds him*

Bartender: *sees her* Oh wow. She's she's a hottie.. I might follow her home.

Saten: ... Are you a woman?

Bartender: No.

Saten: Good *punches out the bartender*

Trixie: *comes over* You okay Saten? I heard about the bugbear?

Saten: Yeah.. I'm fine.

Trixie: ... Any luck with the romance thing? *giggles*

Saten: ... Afraid not.

Trixie: I thought as much.. I feel bad that I might of put some pressure on you, so I decided to get us a fansy diner reservation.

Saten: ... But that's more of Rarity's thing.

Trixie: Just give it a try.. I'll meet you there.


END OF SEASON 2:




I said for a while now that I actually love Saten Twist and Trixie Lulamoone as a couple, and wish they were popular enough to be on devientart, cause I would love..

Also, I actually started liking Saten's platonic friendship with Twilight, there's something kinda adorable about it.. They are shown to be very close.. Same with him and Pinkie..
posted by cutiegirl01
01 Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
02 Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
03 Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
04 If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
05 Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony,...
continue reading...
Top 25 Ways To Drive Your Roommate Crazy

1. Every time you wake up, start yelling, “Oh, my God! Where the
hell am I?!” and run around the room for a few minutes. Then go
back to bed. If yourroommate asks, say you don’t know what
he/she is talking about.

2. Buy a plant. Sleep with it at night. Talk to it. After a few weeks,
start to argue with it loudly. Then yell, “I can’t live in the same
room with you,” storm out of the room and slam the door. Get rid
of the plant, but keep the pot. Refuse to discuss the plant ever
again.

3. Buy a Jack-in-the-box. Every day, turn the handle until the
clown...
continue reading...
posted by catgirl140
79 Things to do in an Elevator (Soooo funny)

1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5. Meow occasionally.
6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" - and back away slowly.
7. Say "DING!" at each floor.
8. Say "I...
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I'm Dreaming Of A Fat Christmas

It was Christmas Eve. Selena sat yet on her head, sipping slow eggnog.

She looked at the cute boat hanging on the Christmas Tree and sighed. Last year, alex had hung it there, just before they looked at each other conversely and then fell into each other's arms and stood each other's hand.

If only I hadn't been so pretty, Selena thought, pouring a funny amount of rum into her eggnog. Then alex might not have got so stupid and left me all alone at Christmas time. She wiped away a fast tear and held her head in her hand.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and...
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
1. If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that.

2. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it.

3. Use CB lingo where applicable.

4. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.

5. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."

6. Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder.

7. Give them your address, exclaim "Oh, just surprise me!" and hang up.

8. Answer their questions with questions.

9. In your breathiest voice, tell them to cut the crap about nutrition and...
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posted by BellaCullen96
Act like you know the order taker from somewhere. Say, "BedWetter’s Camp, right?"
Add extra letters to words, ex: pizza becomes pizzzzzzzaaaaaaa
After ordering, say, "I wonder what THIS button on the phone does." Simulate a cutoff.
Amuse the order taker with little-known facts about country music.
Answer their questions with questions.
Ask about pizza maintenance and repair.
Ask for a deal available somewhere else. (e.g., If phoning Domino's, ask for a Cheeser! Cheeser!)
Ask for chips/fries with everything!
Ask for extra homo-sapien
Ask for the guy who took your order last time.
Ask how many...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
This is a My Little Pony fan fiction. If you do not like talking horses that come in multiple colors, please run away for your life.


Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! Pingas!
Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! Pingas!

The circle comes in from the right. When it stops, a bolt of lightning appears, followed by the name, WindWakerGuy430
The circle comes in from the right. When it stops, a bolt of lightning appears, followed by the name, WindWakerGuy430


The fan fiction begins with a school bus stopping at a small intersection in Frenchtown. Frenchtown is ten miles west of Ponyville.

SeanTheHedgehog Presents

A Windwakerguy430 Fan Fiction

Guy

Ponies: *Getting off the bus*

Starring three news OC's from SeanTheHedgehog

Guy, Harrison, and Tate...
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I thought I could protect you
From paying for my sins
And I've been walking this earth
Long enough, that death's a gift
(Ohhhh girl)

Been living this life so patient
Until I see you again
It's war we're facin'
I know that if I die
My only choice is still defending

No matter what they say
My love for you is
greater than their powers
And their armies from above

You give me strength
I'm with you either way
If I die
If I stay
Give me strength
I'm with you either way
Nothing's lost
No more pain
Just give me strength

The scars and the wounds
I wear them proud like tattoos
Reminds me that I lost you
Reminds that I'll be
Living...
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People liked my old Goosebumps articles so in the spirit of October lets do this...


BEST:

SLAPPY SERIES:
Let's just call it that, he's the reason we all remember anyway.. Inspired by a Twilight episode it's about a sentient dummy who likes making people his slaves, but not before gaslighting enough to make people think your crazy, you know like most evil dolls.. He does stand out a strong enough villain that he's the most remembered..

And lets not forget, he got struck by lightening at one point, so even God was tired of this dude's shit..


WELCOME TO DEAD HOUSE:
I don't really remember the book,...
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As we have mentioned before, link is an online game, you have to have a set of computers or if you want to play via mobile phone, that’s okay too. Being a 3D game drift hunter is a feast for eyes and minds.

Interestingly, you can customize your cars with multiple amazing features. You may modify not just the engine, but also the gearbox, the turbocharger, the cambers, the brake pressure, the brake balance, and more.

Challenging Racetracks and Improvised Customization
Drift Hunter is a game of multiple challenging racetracks. You will have to earn money by playing. And with that balance, you...
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posted by TimberHumphrey
No, no, no, no, no-no
Ooh
No, no, no, no, no-no
Ooh

Light a blunt up with the flame
Put that cocaine on a plate
Molly with the purple rain
'Cause I lost my faith
So I cut away the pain, uh
Got it swimming in my veins
Now my mind is outta place, yeah, uh
'Cause I lost my faith

And I feel everything
I feel everything from my body to my soul
No, no
Well, I feel everything
When I'm coming down is the most I feel alone
No, no

I've been sober for a year, now it's time for me
To go back to my old ways, don't you cry for me
Thought I'd be a better man, but I lied to me and to you

I take half a Xan' and I still stay awake...
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posted by TimberHumphrey
Yeah, breakfast at Tiffany's and bottles of bubbles
Girls with tattoos who like getting in trouble
Lashes and diamonds, ATM machines
Buy myself all of my favorite things (yeah)

Been through some bad shit, I should be a sad bitch
Who woulda thought it'd turn me to a savage?
Rather be tied up with calls and not strings
Write my own checks like I write what I sing, yeah (yeah)

My wrist, stop watchin', my neck is flossy
Make big deposits, my gloss is poppin'
You like my hair? Gee, thanks, just bought it
I see it, I like it, I want it, I got it (yeah)

I want it, I got it, I want it, I got it
I want it, I got...
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posted by TimberHumphrey
On a cobweb afternoon
In a room full of emptiness
By a freeway I confess
I was lost in the pages
Of a book full of death
Reading how we'll die alone
And if we're good, we'll lay to rest
Anywhere we wanna go

In your house I long to be
Room by room patiently
I'll wait for you there
Like a stone
I'll wait for you there
Alone

On my deathbed I will pray
To the gods and the angels
Like a pagan to anyone
Who will take me to heaven
To a place I recall
I was there so long ago
The sky was bruised
The wine was bled
And there you led me on

In your house I long to be
Room by room patiently
I'll wait for you there
Like a stone
I'll...
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posted by TimberHumphrey
Ooh yeah

I just pretend
That i'm in the dark
And i don't regret
'Cause my heart can't
Take a loss

I'd rather be
so oblivious
I'd rather be
with you

When it's said, when it's done, yeah
I don't ever wanna know
I can tell what you've done, yeah
When i look at you

In your eyes
I see there's something burning inside you
Oh, inside you
In your eyes
I know it hurts to smile, but you try to
Oh, you try to
You always try to hide the pain
You always know just what to say
I always look the other way
I'm blind, i'm blind
In your eyes
You lie, but i don't let it define you
Oh, define you

I try to find love
In someone else
too many...
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Well, it’s that time of the year again. Halloween, the month of scares, despite the fact that the year 2020 has been a fucking nightmare more than anything Halloween could do. Last year I looked at five exploitation horror films. Some were good. Some were absolute trash. But I wanted to do that again. And this time, I wanted to up the ante. I wanted to take it a step further. Not with graphic content. God no. Nothing will ever make me sick like Nekromantik, I think. But in scale. Instead of five films, I decided to check out ten this year. Ones of differentiating quality. Will there be diamonds...
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No, really, these are real posts.. I'm not making this up...


#1:
Who cares about remembering soldiers, long as it means a day off school, I'm happy!


#2:
I don't care if it's illegal, if a corpse looks hot, I'm fucking it!


#3:
JUST CAUSE I SUCKED YOUR COCK, DON'T MEAN WE DATING! I SUCKED YOUR COCK, BUT NOT YOUR HEART!!


#4:
I don't care about your shitty opinions! I like having sex with my father, it feels mature! So fuck off haters!


#5;
My kid is NEVER gonna watch Skrek! Disagree all you want! Beautiful people don't go with ugly people! My daughter would grow up thinking she should change cause some...
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posted by Canada24
#1: CAMP NIGHTMARE:
The camp is actually a hoax set up by the boy’s parents.. Okay, that would of been fine wait there.. But being Goosebumps, for some reason, it's so the boy can be prepared for an exploratory mission to a place called 'Earth'.. So they're aliens appearently.. Okay.. But WHY?


#2: THE BARKING GHOST:
The dogs turn out to be humans that have been transformed into dogs, so they transform Cooper and Fergie into dogs and take over their identities, then Cooper and Fergie transform them back but they accidently get transformed into squirrels or something like that, I don't know. Stine...
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Well, after some minor errors in the process, the SWERY Month marathon is back on track. Hopefully. The next review will be tomorrow and will hopefully be just as passionate as this one. We did not have a great start to this month, let’s just say, and I really apologize for that. A rather drab game that SWERY had little creative control over, that was a game I had no desire in playing, and was immediately followed by lots of personal stuff in life taking over. But thankfully, we can move on with the schedule and get on to better things from SWERY. Better things, such as the game that truly...
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Okay, so what the hell is this all about? Well, this is PS2 Cents, but where I talk about games in a shorter quantity. Basically, shorter, more condensed reviews but you get five games reviewed. This is basically for games I had very little to talk about, did not finish due to reasons, or didn’t want to finish because the game was hot garbage. I dunno. This helps get reviews out faster and allows me to focus on the bigger reviews. We’ll start in alphabetical order and work our way from there. Starting with…

Airblade



Okay, so let me start out by saying this. This game is already infinitely...
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Ever since I was young, I’ve always enjoyed graffiti. I’ve never done graffiti in my life, or have any artistic skills at all, but I enjoy it. Maybe it was due to a combination of playing a lot of Jet Set Radio as a kid as well as seeing them when I was living around urban areas as a kid. Now do I condone the act of vandalism for the sake of graffiti….. Mmmmm legally can’t say. Basically, I love the free spirited nature of it and any game that can replicate graffiti is fine by me. And today we’ll be talking about Graffiti Kingdom… this game has absolutely nothing to do with graffiti....
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