1. Poke him in the head, constantly.
2. Tell him that "the blue knight" is a really gay name.
3. After saying that, insist that he is gay.
4. Tell EVERYONE that he is gay, even write it into the newspaper.
5. Call him a stupid hippie.
6. Spread rumours that he's cheating on Ichigo with Kisshu.
7. Edit a photo of him so it looks like he's kissing Kisshu, make sure he sees it. (This will annoy Kisshu too!)
8. Put loads of salt in his food just before he's about to eat it.
9. Pour wallpaper paste all over his head.
10. Tie his shoelaces together.
11. Send him dirty text messages, pretend they're from Ichigo.
12. Keep doing this until he replies to one. (And it gets sent to the real Ichigo.)
13. Say that his face is orange.
14. Steal his sofa.
15. Shave all his hair off during the night, and leave a rainbow clown wig next to the bed for when he wakes up.
16. Do the "I got your nose!" thing to him.
17. Send him phone calls acting like your a terrorist and telling him that Ichigo is being held captive and if he doesn't rescue her in the next five minutes she'll die and they'll blow up his house.
18. Get him to play cricket or some similar sport with you, whenever it comes to your turn, hit him over the head with your bat and say that someone else did it.
19. Tell Ichigo that he said she sound like a plane taking off at the start of her Strawberry Surprise attack. (She does, seriously, I realised about two seconds before I wrote that. Also, this one should probably have been for Ichigo, but I'd already finished hers, sorry!)
20. Sculpt a potato to look like his face, then give the potato to him as a gift. Insist that he keeps it on his wall were it can be seen by everyone who goes in there. (So probably not that many people.)
21. Steal all his homework, and hide it in the same place as his sofa.
22. Burn them both.
23. Stand outside his classroom and laugh as he tries to explain to his teacher that the reason he never does his homework is because as soon as he gets it some crazy weirdo runs of with it (along with half his living room furniture) and burns it.
24. Whenever he's talking, pretend to shake your head, in either disappointment or disapproval.
25. Accuse him of animal abuse.
26. And littering.
27. Leave tart in his locker so that he falls out when he opens it. And everyone sees.
28. Make sure you are in the room at that point, and at the top of your voice yell "MASAYA'S A PERV, HELP ME I'M SCARED OF HIMM!"
29. Make him go to Irish dancing lessons.
30. Then make him perform to Ichigo and the rest of the mews, and Ryou and Keiichiro...and the aliens...and all the other characters! Make sure he's wearing a kilt while he does it.