I found these online, and thought they were kinda funny, :)
Credit: wiki answers, wattpad.com, b l o g s p o t.com
How many Twilighters does it take to screw on a light bulb?
I don't know, they're all too busy fighting over who gets to be Mrs Cullen
What happened when Emmett Cullen stubbed his toe?
He made the whole city collapse!
Rosalie Hale was told to find something just as or more beautiful then herself. She came back with a mirror!
How do you stop Jacob Black from attacking you?
You pick up a stick, throw it and yell "fetch"!
How do you irritate Edward Cullen?
Buy him a dog and call it Jacob!
Why can't Edward read Bella's mind?
There's nothing to read.
Jasper will never be a therapist because he already knows "how you feel about that".
I keep wanting to steal Jasper
but everytime I go to his bedroom window
Alice is waiting with a baseball bat...
how does she kno... oh yeah!!!
Dear Diary,
I would like to La Push Jacob of a cliff.
Love Edward
I went to La Push Washington, and all I got was this stupid imprint.
Jasper Hales first job was as a paperboy, there were no survivors.
Tips for guys trying to find a girlfriend:
1. Read the Twilight Saga.
2. Watch Twilight movies.
3. In every real-life situation, think, "What would Edward do?
Boy: You know Edward Cullen isn't real, right?
Girl: Well fake boobs aren't real, but you still like to look at those!
Dear Edward,
Thanks a lot...
sincerely,
Guys everywhere
Credit: wiki answers, wattpad.com, b l o g s p o t.com
How many Twilighters does it take to screw on a light bulb?
I don't know, they're all too busy fighting over who gets to be Mrs Cullen
What happened when Emmett Cullen stubbed his toe?
He made the whole city collapse!
Rosalie Hale was told to find something just as or more beautiful then herself. She came back with a mirror!
How do you stop Jacob Black from attacking you?
You pick up a stick, throw it and yell "fetch"!
How do you irritate Edward Cullen?
Buy him a dog and call it Jacob!
Why can't Edward read Bella's mind?
There's nothing to read.
Jasper will never be a therapist because he already knows "how you feel about that".
I keep wanting to steal Jasper
but everytime I go to his bedroom window
Alice is waiting with a baseball bat...
how does she kno... oh yeah!!!
Dear Diary,
I would like to La Push Jacob of a cliff.
Love Edward
I went to La Push Washington, and all I got was this stupid imprint.
Jasper Hales first job was as a paperboy, there were no survivors.
Tips for guys trying to find a girlfriend:
1. Read the Twilight Saga.
2. Watch Twilight movies.
3. In every real-life situation, think, "What would Edward do?
Boy: You know Edward Cullen isn't real, right?
Girl: Well fake boobs aren't real, but you still like to look at those!
Dear Edward,
Thanks a lot...
sincerely,
Guys everywhere
I've waited a hundred years
And I'd wait a million more for you
Nothing prepared me for of the privilege of being yours, I do
If I had only felt the warmth within your touch
If I had only seen how you smile when you blush
Or how you curl your lip when you concentrate enough
But I would have known what I was living for all along
What I've been living for
Your love is my turning page
Only the sweetest words remain
Every kiss is a cursive line
Every touch is a redefining phrase
I surrender who I've been for who you are
For nothing makes me stronger than your fragile heart
If I had only felt how it feels to be yours
I would have known what I've been living for all along
What I've been living for
Though we're tethered to the story we must tell
When I saw you well I knew we'd tell it well
With the whisper we will tame the vicious scenes
Like a feather bringing kingdoms to their knees
And I'd wait a million more for you
Nothing prepared me for of the privilege of being yours, I do
If I had only felt the warmth within your touch
If I had only seen how you smile when you blush
Or how you curl your lip when you concentrate enough
But I would have known what I was living for all along
What I've been living for
Your love is my turning page
Only the sweetest words remain
Every kiss is a cursive line
Every touch is a redefining phrase
I surrender who I've been for who you are
For nothing makes me stronger than your fragile heart
If I had only felt how it feels to be yours
I would have known what I've been living for all along
What I've been living for
Though we're tethered to the story we must tell
When I saw you well I knew we'd tell it well
With the whisper we will tame the vicious scenes
Like a feather bringing kingdoms to their knees
Well I can go a million miles an hour
But I’ve been bored so try to drag me down into the night
But if the morning I knew the song
In the arms of a miracle
Come back and see where you’re from
I can see the sun is on the rush
The pulse is strong, it warms you better than the Joe they left behind
But in the breath before you go
In the arms of a miracle
Come back and see where you’ve gone
It starts as a battle of luck
In the end it’s in the hands of a ghost
Well I am
Well I am
I can go a million miles an hour
But I can see the sun upon their eyes
I can go a million miles an hour
I can see it’s all true
You start to feel it finally
It starts as a battle of luck
But it ends when the hands of a ghost lay it down yeah
But I’ve been bored so try to drag me down into the night
But if the morning I knew the song
In the arms of a miracle
Come back and see where you’re from
I can see the sun is on the rush
The pulse is strong, it warms you better than the Joe they left behind
But in the breath before you go
In the arms of a miracle
Come back and see where you’ve gone
It starts as a battle of luck
In the end it’s in the hands of a ghost
Well I am
Well I am
I can go a million miles an hour
But I can see the sun upon their eyes
I can go a million miles an hour
I can see it’s all true
You start to feel it finally
It starts as a battle of luck
But it ends when the hands of a ghost lay it down yeah
So pretty, so smart
Such a waste of her young heart
What a pity, what a sham
What’s the matter with you man
Don’t you see it’s wrong, can’t you get it right
Out of mind and out of sight
Call on all your girls, don’t forget the boys
Put a lid on all that noise
I’m a satellite heart
Lost in the dark
I’m spun out so far
You stop, I start
But I’ll be true to you
I hear you’re living out of state
Running in a whole new scene
You know I haven’t slept in weeks
You’re the only thing I see
I’m a satellite heart
Lost in the dark
I’m spun out so far
You stop, I start
But I’ll be true to you
I’m a satellite heart
Lost in the dark
I’m spun out so far
You stop, I start
But I’ll be true to you
No matter what you do
Yeah I’ll be true to you
Such a waste of her young heart
What a pity, what a sham
What’s the matter with you man
Don’t you see it’s wrong, can’t you get it right
Out of mind and out of sight
Call on all your girls, don’t forget the boys
Put a lid on all that noise
I’m a satellite heart
Lost in the dark
I’m spun out so far
You stop, I start
But I’ll be true to you
I hear you’re living out of state
Running in a whole new scene
You know I haven’t slept in weeks
You’re the only thing I see
I’m a satellite heart
Lost in the dark
I’m spun out so far
You stop, I start
But I’ll be true to you
I’m a satellite heart
Lost in the dark
I’m spun out so far
You stop, I start
But I’ll be true to you
No matter what you do
Yeah I’ll be true to you
That is a not easy choice for Bella,espically face Edward and Jacob.
Edward is like an antiquated and gentlest brand,such as link.
But Jacob,who is new arisen,just like link.
That is really a difficult choice for Bella.
Feeling?Emotion?What is the measurement?
Woman is very strange,includig Bella.They want to be loved,and want a happy ending with her prince.Eactly,that person should be everyone's prince.
To go along with feeling is not always right.
May be we could know what is her finally choice in the ending.
Edward is like an antiquated and gentlest brand,such as link.
But Jacob,who is new arisen,just like link.
That is really a difficult choice for Bella.
Feeling?Emotion?What is the measurement?
Woman is very strange,includig Bella.They want to be loved,and want a happy ending with her prince.Eactly,that person should be everyone's prince.
To go along with feeling is not always right.
May be we could know what is her finally choice in the ending.