Tetra: So, now that we are here, are you ready to go on an amazing adventure to save your sister
Link: No
Tetra: Then let us- Wait, what do you mean by no
Link: You see, my mother used to tell me stories of a brave hero who went through many hardships to save the land from evil. And I can assure you, I fucking hate the stuff he went through. He almost got killed by spiders, lizards, jellyfish monsters, ghosts, dragons, water.... Yeah, just water, zombies, witches, pigmen, tribal warriors, goats, giant fish, worms, and a scary mask, and I can assure you I won't go on some crappy adventure
Tetra: Perfect, then let us go
Link: I said I don't want to go
Tetra: We will not rest until we find your sister
Link: I said I don't want to go
Tetra: And we shall defeat the evil that lies in the Forsaken Fortress
Link: Do I have a saying in this
Tetra: No
Link: Ffffffuuuuuckk. Okay, lets go
Tetra: Hold on, you need a shield first
Link: What. You just said I had to come with you
Tetra: Shield first
Link: I don't even want to go with you. Sure, I want to lose my virginity, but goddamn your annoying.... Even though I'd still screw you
Tetra: Well, you have to, otherwise you will never go save your sister
Link: (Sigh) Fine. Wait here and do... whatever
Tetra: Okay
Link: Grandma
Grandma: Get off my lawn you-
Link: Grandma, I need a shield
Grandma: Oh, well here you go Link
Link: (Takes shield) Thanks grandma
Grandma: Your wel- Link, are you wearing girls clothing. Take that crap off, I ain't going to be the grandmother of some queer
Link: You gave me these clothes
Grandma: Are you crazy. Why would I do that
Link: Oh never fucking mind
Tetra: And look at that cloud. It looks just like a butterfly
Pirate: And that one looks a flower
Other Pirate: And that one looks like Morgan Freeman
Link: Okay, I'm here. Now lets go before-
Grandma: LINK!!!
Link: She finds out! Quick go go go
Tatra: Okay, everyone. Lets get going (Ship starts moving)
Grandma: (On shore) Link, you little bastard. Get back her and message my feet
Link: Not gonna happen. So long grandma, I'm going on an adventure
Grandma: DAMN YOU!!!
Link: So, when do you think we'll get to the Foreskin Fortress
Tetra: Forsaken Fortress, actually
Link: Who cares
Tetra: Well, I think we'll get there soon
Link: Well, I'll just take a nap until-
Tetra: We're here (Points at fortress)
Link: So this is it, huh
Tetra: Yep, now lets see. How can we get you inside
Link: Well, as long as it doesn't cause me physical pain, I'm fine with it
Tetra: Physical pain......... THAT'S IT
Link: (Inside a barrel in a catapult) Goddamn it (Catapult launches Link at fortress) Not the face. Not the face. Not the face. Not the face. Not the face (Hits wall) That....... Was....... My face (Falls into water) (Climbs out of water) Okay..... That sucked....... Now, it is time to go all Metal Gear Solid on this place
Link: (Gets thrown in cell) What the hell, how did I get thrown in here
Guard: you shot in killed hundreds of guards until we just shot you with a tranquilizer.
Link: Oh, right. I forgot I just run in and shoot everyone in Metal Gear Solid
Guard: Anyway, I will leave you in this cell that definitely doesn't have a secret escape route. Especially behind those pots. Don't bother looking behind them. Now I will go and leave you unguarded for no reason. Have fun (Walks out)
Link: ................................. I'm bored. Oh, pots. Must kill pots (Breaks pots) Hey, a secret escape route (Walks out) Okay, now, I just can't get caught again
Link: (Gets thrown in cell) What the hell
Guard : Ha, you made this too easy. Now, this time stay in this cell, and don't look behind the new pots we added, there is absolutely positively no escape route. So long (Walks out)
(143 break outs later)
Link: Okay, now I am finally here at the top of the tower
Aryll: Link, you came to save me
Link: Yeah, don't give a shit. I just want to get done with this shitty quest
Aryll: Okay.... Hey, Link.... You might want to turn around
Link: I know this joke Aryll. I won't fall for the old "Made you look".
???: Hey, whats that behind you
Link: Huh (Turns around and sees bird)
Bird: HA! Made you look (Picks up Link)
Aryll: Oh no, brother
Link: Still don't care
Bird: (Flies to the top of Forsaken Fortress)
???: Ha ha ha. Who is this
Bird: Master, I found this kid walking around the fortress
???: WHAT! We let a little kid sneak all the way up here. We really need to increase our security
Bird: Probably
Link: Who the hell are you
???: I am none of your goddamn business..... But since I love my name so much, I am Ganondorf, and soon, I will rule the world
Link: Oh no, rule the world, its not like anyones done that a billion times before
Ganondorf: Oh, so your a smart ass aren't you. I hate smart asses. Bird, kill him
Bid: Okay) (Throws Link far)
Link: AHHHHHHH!!!! HOW FUCKING POWERFUL IS THAT BIRDS THROOOOOOOWWWW! (Fades out of sight)
TO BE CONTINUED
Link: No
Tetra: Then let us- Wait, what do you mean by no
Link: You see, my mother used to tell me stories of a brave hero who went through many hardships to save the land from evil. And I can assure you, I fucking hate the stuff he went through. He almost got killed by spiders, lizards, jellyfish monsters, ghosts, dragons, water.... Yeah, just water, zombies, witches, pigmen, tribal warriors, goats, giant fish, worms, and a scary mask, and I can assure you I won't go on some crappy adventure
Tetra: Perfect, then let us go
Link: I said I don't want to go
Tetra: We will not rest until we find your sister
Link: I said I don't want to go
Tetra: And we shall defeat the evil that lies in the Forsaken Fortress
Link: Do I have a saying in this
Tetra: No
Link: Ffffffuuuuuckk. Okay, lets go
Tetra: Hold on, you need a shield first
Link: What. You just said I had to come with you
Tetra: Shield first
Link: I don't even want to go with you. Sure, I want to lose my virginity, but goddamn your annoying.... Even though I'd still screw you
Tetra: Well, you have to, otherwise you will never go save your sister
Link: (Sigh) Fine. Wait here and do... whatever
Tetra: Okay
Link: Grandma
Grandma: Get off my lawn you-
Link: Grandma, I need a shield
Grandma: Oh, well here you go Link
Link: (Takes shield) Thanks grandma
Grandma: Your wel- Link, are you wearing girls clothing. Take that crap off, I ain't going to be the grandmother of some queer
Link: You gave me these clothes
Grandma: Are you crazy. Why would I do that
Link: Oh never fucking mind
Tetra: And look at that cloud. It looks just like a butterfly
Pirate: And that one looks a flower
Other Pirate: And that one looks like Morgan Freeman
Link: Okay, I'm here. Now lets go before-
Grandma: LINK!!!
Link: She finds out! Quick go go go
Tatra: Okay, everyone. Lets get going (Ship starts moving)
Grandma: (On shore) Link, you little bastard. Get back her and message my feet
Link: Not gonna happen. So long grandma, I'm going on an adventure
Grandma: DAMN YOU!!!
Link: So, when do you think we'll get to the Foreskin Fortress
Tetra: Forsaken Fortress, actually
Link: Who cares
Tetra: Well, I think we'll get there soon
Link: Well, I'll just take a nap until-
Tetra: We're here (Points at fortress)
Link: So this is it, huh
Tetra: Yep, now lets see. How can we get you inside
Link: Well, as long as it doesn't cause me physical pain, I'm fine with it
Tetra: Physical pain......... THAT'S IT
Link: (Inside a barrel in a catapult) Goddamn it (Catapult launches Link at fortress) Not the face. Not the face. Not the face. Not the face. Not the face (Hits wall) That....... Was....... My face (Falls into water) (Climbs out of water) Okay..... That sucked....... Now, it is time to go all Metal Gear Solid on this place
Link: (Gets thrown in cell) What the hell, how did I get thrown in here
Guard: you shot in killed hundreds of guards until we just shot you with a tranquilizer.
Link: Oh, right. I forgot I just run in and shoot everyone in Metal Gear Solid
Guard: Anyway, I will leave you in this cell that definitely doesn't have a secret escape route. Especially behind those pots. Don't bother looking behind them. Now I will go and leave you unguarded for no reason. Have fun (Walks out)
Link: ................................. I'm bored. Oh, pots. Must kill pots (Breaks pots) Hey, a secret escape route (Walks out) Okay, now, I just can't get caught again
Link: (Gets thrown in cell) What the hell
Guard : Ha, you made this too easy. Now, this time stay in this cell, and don't look behind the new pots we added, there is absolutely positively no escape route. So long (Walks out)
(143 break outs later)
Link: Okay, now I am finally here at the top of the tower
Aryll: Link, you came to save me
Link: Yeah, don't give a shit. I just want to get done with this shitty quest
Aryll: Okay.... Hey, Link.... You might want to turn around
Link: I know this joke Aryll. I won't fall for the old "Made you look".
???: Hey, whats that behind you
Link: Huh (Turns around and sees bird)
Bird: HA! Made you look (Picks up Link)
Aryll: Oh no, brother
Link: Still don't care
Bird: (Flies to the top of Forsaken Fortress)
???: Ha ha ha. Who is this
Bird: Master, I found this kid walking around the fortress
???: WHAT! We let a little kid sneak all the way up here. We really need to increase our security
Bird: Probably
Link: Who the hell are you
???: I am none of your goddamn business..... But since I love my name so much, I am Ganondorf, and soon, I will rule the world
Link: Oh no, rule the world, its not like anyones done that a billion times before
Ganondorf: Oh, so your a smart ass aren't you. I hate smart asses. Bird, kill him
Bid: Okay) (Throws Link far)
Link: AHHHHHHH!!!! HOW FUCKING POWERFUL IS THAT BIRDS THROOOOOOOWWWW! (Fades out of sight)
TO BE CONTINUED
Vroom in the Night Sky is considered by many to be the worst game on the Nintendo Switch, let alone one of the worst games ever. Developed by Poisoft, a studio that clearly doesn’t speak English, Vroom in the Night Sky was once a Wii U exclusive, but was able to crawl it’s way out of the bargain bin console and onto your Nintendo Switch. I want you to let that sink in. Trash like Vroom in the Night Sky was able to survive the Wii U and yet Wonderful 101 remains trapped on there. This was the game that was considered better than Vroom in the Night Sky. May god forgive us all.
So from...
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So from...
So it’s clear that I am a fan of the Zelda games, since I have had them in my possession ever since I was a young kid. But one that I had not played until much later in life was the classic N64 title that is a sequel to the even more classic Ocarina of Time, and that is known as Majora’s Mask, known by many for being utterly horrifying.
Majora’s Mask, taking place after Ocarina of Time, sees Link in a new land called Termina, where he is searching for the mysterious Skull Kid who is planning to drop the moon onto the town in three days time, giving Link a very limited amount of time...
So Melee was a good Smash game. Hell, it was amazing. It could’ve just been because it was the first I played and had more free time on my hands, but I put so much time into Melee, that no other future Smash Bros. game compared. Smash 4 was something I got tired of quick, and while I enjoyed Brawl and it’s story mode, I already felt like I had saw it all. And then, there comes the new one. Super Smash Bros. Ultimate.
When this game was announced with the tagline “Everyone is Here”, the world got together and fucking lost their shit. Understandably of course. And when they said...
Some time ago, I reviewed the four episode anime series, Corpse Party: Tortured Souls. It was a pretty neat show that I think works as a horror series, but said that it wasn’t for everyone. Before I watched that anime, I had not played any of the Corpse Party games. But, I can now say that it has changed. And I managed to get the 3DS version for the low, low price of only almost sixty bucks. What the hell?! Well, let’s get into the review of Corpse Party for 3DS.
First off, why did this game that isn’t really that big in content cost so much? Because you cannot play this game in...
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First off, why did this game that isn’t really that big in content cost so much? Because you cannot play this game in...
Our disguises faded away, and we turned back to normal
Shortly after Rainbow Dash's arrival, we turned back to normal.
Sean: Our disguises are gone. Cadence, do you know any spells to make us look like one of them?
Cadence: No I don't.
Sean: Alright. *gets map of castle* We've got a lot of ammo, explosives, and we need to create a lot of confusion if we're getting out of here alive.
Rainbow Dash: What should we do?
Sean: Dash, I want you to place some explosives in this room, most of them should go by the door, for when the enemy tries to open them, they'll die.
Shredder: There's also...
Art by Deathding
Some time ago, when I played Saints Row IV, there was a scene where Roddy Piper and Keith David were fighting in an alley in a pretty humorous way. I had no idea what the scene was, until I watched this movie. Now it all makes perfect sense. Another John Carpenter movie, as if three this year weren’t enough. Thankfully, it’s a good one. Probably one of his most loved of all time. And that movie is the satirical sci-fi horror classic, They Live.
The movie follows a drifter by the name of John Nada, who comes to a town finding work, but instead, he manages to find something even bigger....
continue reading...
The movie follows a drifter by the name of John Nada, who comes to a town finding work, but instead, he manages to find something even bigger....
