Link: (Wakes up) Ow, sweet jesus that sucked
???: Ah, good to see your awake
Link: Who said that? Are you a ghost
???: No (Boat turns its head towards Link) It is I. The King of Red Lions. Your new sidekick
Link: AHHHHHH
King of Red Lions: Did I startle you
Link: Well yes
King of Red Lions: I guess its the fact that I can talk
Link: No
King of Red Lions: Well, it happens a lo- Wait, no?
Link: Yeah. I was startled that you weren't annoying. I mean, most sidekicks are like this
Navi: HEY LISTEN HEY LISTEN
Link: Or this
Kebora Gebora: If you are ever lost, look at your map. Now stay there while I tell you more useless crap
Link: And on rare occasions, this
Tattle: (Beats up Deku Scrub) Die! Die! Die!
King of Red Lions: Well that's understandable. Anyway, I would just head off now, but you see some asshole who used me last thought it would be a good idea to not give me a sail, so I need you to go into town and get one
Link: Okay... Wait, I don't have any money
King of Red Lions: Just go around and cuts up bushes. People are always dropping them in there in these games
Link: Are you selling a sail
Man: No
Link: Are you selling a sail
Woman: No
Link: Are you selling a sail
Crazy Guy: No. I'm selling my self on the street to anyone desperate
Link: ...................... Oooookaaaaayyy
Crazy Guy: Hey, before you go, you want me to suck you off
Link: I'm going now
Link: Damn it, I've been everywhere in this town, and still no one is selling sails
Salesman: Hey, you. Did you say you were looking for sails
Link: Yes I did, strangely popping up out of nowhere salesman
Salesman: Well, I got here a sail that will work just fine. If anyone asks, you didn't get it from me
Link: Wow, thanks odd salesman
Salesman: My pleasure
Link: Okay, before I go, I want to check this place out (Opens door)
???: (In cell) Oh, hello there little boy
Link: Who are you
???: I'm Tingle. Who are you
Link: I'm Link. And what are you doing in this cell
Tingle: Oh no reason (Whispers) Touching little kids
Link: What
Tingle: I said jaywalking
Link: But there are no roads on this island
Tingle: That's what I said. Now can you please let me out
Link: Hey, don't tell me what to do. If I want to let you out, I will
Tingle: Okay then
Link: ................. Okay, I'm bored (Sees button) Oh, a button (Pushes button and opens cell)
Tingle: Oh boy, I'm free. Now I can continue my rampage of child rap- I mean jaywalking. Bye now.
Link: I have an odd feeling we'll see each other again
Tingle: And when we do, I'll be waiting you sexy little boy
Link: What
Tingle: Oh nothing, bye now
Link: Hey, KORL, I got your flag
King of Red Lions: Awesome, stick it in me
Link: WOW WHAT!!!
King of Red Lions: Oh damn, sorry, that did not come out right. I meant to say put the sail in the hole
Link: I can tell this is going to be a weird quest
TO BE CONTINUED
???: Ah, good to see your awake
Link: Who said that? Are you a ghost
???: No (Boat turns its head towards Link) It is I. The King of Red Lions. Your new sidekick
Link: AHHHHHH
King of Red Lions: Did I startle you
Link: Well yes
King of Red Lions: I guess its the fact that I can talk
Link: No
King of Red Lions: Well, it happens a lo- Wait, no?
Link: Yeah. I was startled that you weren't annoying. I mean, most sidekicks are like this
Navi: HEY LISTEN HEY LISTEN
Link: Or this
Kebora Gebora: If you are ever lost, look at your map. Now stay there while I tell you more useless crap
Link: And on rare occasions, this
Tattle: (Beats up Deku Scrub) Die! Die! Die!
King of Red Lions: Well that's understandable. Anyway, I would just head off now, but you see some asshole who used me last thought it would be a good idea to not give me a sail, so I need you to go into town and get one
Link: Okay... Wait, I don't have any money
King of Red Lions: Just go around and cuts up bushes. People are always dropping them in there in these games
Link: Are you selling a sail
Man: No
Link: Are you selling a sail
Woman: No
Link: Are you selling a sail
Crazy Guy: No. I'm selling my self on the street to anyone desperate
Link: ...................... Oooookaaaaayyy
Crazy Guy: Hey, before you go, you want me to suck you off
Link: I'm going now
Link: Damn it, I've been everywhere in this town, and still no one is selling sails
Salesman: Hey, you. Did you say you were looking for sails
Link: Yes I did, strangely popping up out of nowhere salesman
Salesman: Well, I got here a sail that will work just fine. If anyone asks, you didn't get it from me
Link: Wow, thanks odd salesman
Salesman: My pleasure
Link: Okay, before I go, I want to check this place out (Opens door)
???: (In cell) Oh, hello there little boy
Link: Who are you
???: I'm Tingle. Who are you
Link: I'm Link. And what are you doing in this cell
Tingle: Oh no reason (Whispers) Touching little kids
Link: What
Tingle: I said jaywalking
Link: But there are no roads on this island
Tingle: That's what I said. Now can you please let me out
Link: Hey, don't tell me what to do. If I want to let you out, I will
Tingle: Okay then
Link: ................. Okay, I'm bored (Sees button) Oh, a button (Pushes button and opens cell)
Tingle: Oh boy, I'm free. Now I can continue my rampage of child rap- I mean jaywalking. Bye now.
Link: I have an odd feeling we'll see each other again
Tingle: And when we do, I'll be waiting you sexy little boy
Link: What
Tingle: Oh nothing, bye now
Link: Hey, KORL, I got your flag
King of Red Lions: Awesome, stick it in me
Link: WOW WHAT!!!
King of Red Lions: Oh damn, sorry, that did not come out right. I meant to say put the sail in the hole
Link: I can tell this is going to be a weird quest
TO BE CONTINUED
So back when I was talking about Saints Row IV, I mentioned that I prefer the writing of GTA more than the writing of the Saints Row games, but because of the gameplay and the sheer madness you get from the franchise, I was more fond of the Saints Row games. And no game speaks massive volumes of unadulterated fun than Saints Row 2
Being a sequel to a game I did not originally play first, you play as a member of the fallen Third Street Saints gang, who fell apart a few years later due to much more powerful gangs getting involved and the company Ultor cracking down on gangs. So, after escaping...
So remember that time Bioware wasn’t making shit like Anthem, and wasn’t constantly getting flack by everyone for making a god awful piece of shit that was unfun and ruined your consoles and they weren’t on the brink of death every time EA did something stupid?.... So yeah, let’s talk about Dragon Age: Origins
You play as either a noble human, a noble or peasant Dwarf or a peasant or tribal Elf. Due to circumstances in either story, you end up joining the Wardens, a group of soldiers that are able to fight the monsters of this land, the Darkspawn. But due to a traitor among the...
Welcome to the second episode of Cultober II: The Return. Yesterday, we looked at a classic horror film that is regarded for its writing and effects. Now we will be looking at a classic B-monster film that is known for its cheese but loved for its premise nonetheless. Today we will be looking at what many consider the king of classic b-movies, 1958’s The Blob. The original, of course.
Young lovers Steve and Jane are at Lover’s Lane when a meteorite crashes into earth. From within, a gelatinous creature known only as The Blob emerges from within and begins to devour residents of the...
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Young lovers Steve and Jane are at Lover’s Lane when a meteorite crashes into earth. From within, a gelatinous creature known only as The Blob emerges from within and begins to devour residents of the...
When I was twelve years old, I remember my older brother playing the hell out of Batman: Arkham Knight. It looked so cool and a ton of fun to play, but when I played it, I got my ass kicked. Because character action game. But I still liked what I had (Not enough to put on the list, clearly), but I thought, “What if other superheroes got this kind of treatment”. And then Spider-Man came out.
Okay, so I won’t explain much of the plot. You know Spider-Man. I know Spider-Man. We all know Spider-Man. The plot involves Spider-Man getting involved with a terrorist attack and as to fight...
So remember when I talked about how a David Cage game, despite how much of a hack he is, has a better concept of mattering choices than Telltale? Yeah, I still stand by that, despite Cage's lack to tell a story. But that's not to say Telltale games are bad. At least, not all of them. One of my favorites is the very stylish and narrative griping murder mystery of The Wolf Among Us. So let's talk about-
Hi everyone this is DisneyPrince88 and I’ll be doing one of WindWakerGuy430’s top 100 video games for his anniversary
The video game that I’ll be reviewing is one of WindwakerGuy...
So let’s be really clear here. As far as writing goes, and an interesting story, I prefer the GTA games over any other sandbox game. But for replayability, for massive fun, for an overworld that is brimming with personality just begging to be fucked around in, I always prefer the Saints Row games, and none of them is more insane and fun to play than Saints Row IV
So the game is far different from the past games, which was about a small street gang becoming a massive criminal empire. Now said street gang’s leader has become president of the United States. And there’s aliens, espionage,...
Remember back when I talked about Lollipop Chainsaw and said that it was the most decisive game from Grasshopper before another game. Well, this is the now most decisive. Travis Strikes Again, a spin off, not No More Heroes 3, that people either like or hate. And in case it wasn’t super obvious, I love this game
I feel like it is important to remember that this game is a spin-off and not a main series game, and yet everyone still thinks this is NMH3 and a bad continuation. If this game spits on the legacy of the franchise, then Smash Bros, Pokemon Snap, and the entire Persona franchise...
Well this one is certainly going to be a blast from the past, assuming anyone from that time is even alive or even reading this article. In 1920, when movies were still silent films with only a line of text appearing afterward, not much was thought about being done in the horror genre. But low and behold, here comes Germany with one of the most influential horror films ever made, 1920’s The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari. What makes this film such a standout from almost a hundred years ago? Let’s find out.
The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari is told from the perspective of an interesting person by...
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The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari is told from the perspective of an interesting person by...
This is a film I only heard about in hushed whispers. 1988’s Maniac Cop was a slasher film that, among other slasher film titles, went unnoticed when it first came out. Low critical reception sure didn’t help. But it eventually gained a following and many people came to enjoy the film. And so, what do I think of the movie. Is it a possible underrated slasher classic or is it not good. Well, I do like the idea of a police officer being a serial killer, and making it a lot more of a hidden threat, so there is definitely potential here. Let’s give it a shot.
In the middle of the night,...
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In the middle of the night,...
