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Johnny: What's this about Ray?

Ray: Nothing., Were friends aren't we.

Johnny: Really.. I thought you hated my guts after that musiem stunt.

Ray: Noo, no Johnny, I don't hate your fuckin guts.

Bodyguard: Than what the hell are we doing!? I thought we were gonna ki-

Ray: SOOO!? JOHNNY!? DO YOU LIKE LOUD SENTENCES!?

Johnny: Sometimes I guess.

Ray: Great.. Say, can you do me a favour? Do you see that painting behind you?

Johnny? (looks behind him) What about i- (Ray suddenly knocks him unconscious).

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Ray: (slaps Johnny).

Johnny: (wakes up from being knocked out) What the fuck!?

Ray: (in fake accent) You ripped me off, C!

Johnny: (in fake accent) No I didn't, C!

Ray: (in fake accent) I'm gonna make you pay, C! (hits him over the head with gun)

Johnny: That hurt!.. C!

Ray: I fucked Ashley, my friend, and now I'm going to fuck you. Where's my fucking stuff?

Johnny: Alright, alright... what you do, is you go down to the local pharmacy, ask for something called Viagra, and it will help you go FUCK YOURSELF!

Ray: Fuck you!... (to unnamed assistant) Burn Jim again!

[Jim cuts his hands loose, gets behind the man with the knife to his throat.]

Jim: Stand down!

Johnny: (a bit brain damaged from the hit) STAND DOWN CATS!

Ray: No!

Jim: I'll cut him!

Johnny: HE'LL CUT HIM!

Jim: (annoyedly to Johnny) Shut, the fuck, up!

Ray: Besides.. You don't have the guts!

Jim: ...

[Jim slits the man's throat and runs up the stairs with Johnny.]

Ray: Aghh! (runs over to his friend).

Ray: (angrily to the bikers) I'll see you later!

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Ashley: Johnny.. I heard what happened.

Johnny: That wasn't my fault. l was powerless. l was plied with copious amounts of Red Bull, Jell-O shots … And Goldschlger… My doctor thought l had Crohn's disease… There were flakes of 24-karat gold in my stool for about a month… I CRAPPED GOLD!

Ashley: What are you talking about.

Johnny: ... What are you talking about?

Ashley: He told me everything. Me and Ray ain't friends no more.

Johnny: Me and Ray neither, sugar.

Ashley: Johnny, I got some bad news. Jim... He ain't...

Johnny Oh no. Oh, man. Not Jim... Fuck this... (screams) FUCK!

Ashley: Okay, calm dow-

Johnny: (screaming) FUCK!... SHIT!... FUCK, SHIT!... FUCK!... FUCK, SHIT!... SHIT!... F SHIT!

(one hour later).

Johnny: (still screaming) SHIT!... FUCK, SHIT!... FUCK!... FUCKIN SHIT!... FUCK!... SHIT!... FUUUCK!... Okay I'm done

Ashley: You still got me

Johnny: I don't got you. Crystal gone and got you, babe.

Ashley: Johnny, I'm gonna quit.

Johnny: Yeah, and I'm an idiot believing in your bullshit all this time.

Ashley: It ain't your fault. Johnny It's my fault I'm a fucking moron.

Ashley: I'm going to go to rehab, straighten myself out. Anyhow, he- he told me you wouldn't get hurt... I wouldn't have done it otherwise.

Johnny: Yeah, well why shouldn't I kill you?

Ashley: Why bother? I'd be better off dead. But Johnny, Ray ain't the problem.

Johnny: What are you talking about? Are you telling me that a backstabbing mob guy who wants to kill me ain't the problem?

Ashley: It's Billy. See, it's Billy. Ray... It turns out that Billy was trying to poison him against you, and now apparently Billy's going states... He's gonna- he's gonna blame you. I'm sorry.

Johnny: Well, what now?

Ashley: You gotta get someone to help you. Maybe that Congressman?

Johnny: Maybe. We'll see. Go on and get out of here.

Ashley: I love you, Johnny K.

Johnny: You're speaking a foreign language to me now, lady. Now get the fuck outta here.

MEANWHILE:

Ray: (gets shot in the face and dies)

Niko: (holding desert eagle) HA! I shot your face!.. Take that faceless!... Serves you right for thinking I'm not going to lie down for some frat boy bastard with his damn henley, smoking his sticky buds out of a soda can while watching his favorite downloaded Simpson episodes every night! Yes, we all love Mr. Plow. Oh, you've got the song memorized, do you? SO DOES EVERYONE ELSE!

(20 minutes later)

Niko: (still talking) That is exactly the kind of idiot you see at Taco Bell at one in the morning... the guy who just whiffed his way down the bar-skank ladder. If he wants to throw hands, I'll throw hands! I tell you...

-------------------------------------------------------------------

LATER:

Peg: Niko - good to see you.

Niko: And you. How are you?

Peg: Eh, eh. Fucking terrible. We've got legal problems, all kinds of crap. You know how things have gone.

Niko: I've heard some things.

Peg: You get close to your dream, then something holds you back. No! Well, Commission or no Commission, I ain't gonna starve. People don't want me around, they don't have to have me. But I know how to earn. I need a favor.

Niko; Here we go.

Peg: Fuck you - I looked out for you. And I'll pay good. Real good. But I need you to do something. I need you to collect that H, I got some Russians who have a buyer.

Niko: Russians?

Peg: Yeah... Dimitri Rascalov.

Niko: No. We've got history.

Peg: I know... but this is real. I need you.

Niko: Real? What the fuck is real? Real because it's you?

Peg: Real because it's my last chance.

Niko: Then good luck.

Peg: No. I need you to get that H. I need the money. I looked out for you, you know. People wanted to what you, I said no. Now, I need you. And I'll pay a lot of money.

Niko:

Listen, Mr. Pegorino. I already told you. I got history...

Peg: No, you listen, you dumb immigrant fuck. I ain't asking you. I'm telling you. Do this! Get over your principles, these guys don't hold grudges. Do it - or you and me are gonna have a problem... (Niko emotionlessly stares at him)... Look, Phil will look after you. You won't even have to deal with the fucking Russians. He's waiting for you down in Tudor.

Niko: Alright.

Peg: I knew I could count on you. [to Tommy] Hey, how about that drink?

Niko: (in head) I still don't trust Dimitri.. Wouldn't hurt to have ONE last person.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Niko: And that's why I need you

Dash: (outside Packie's house).. But never said anything.. You came over, knocked on my door. and said "and that's why I need you".

Niko: Fine..

(One explanation later).

Niko: And THAT'S whyI need you.

Dash: Russians huh?.. You seem to be popular among them.

Niko: very funny... Now will you come or not?

Dash: Well.. I'm kinda hanging with Packi-

Packie: (off view) Hey Dashie... Wanna watch Adventure Time?

Dash: ... Never mind let's go. (leaves with Niko).

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Phil: Good to see you Nicky.. Who's the girl?

Niko: A friend of mine.. She's a good shot, don't worry.

Phil: I hope so.. Anyway.. Call Dimitri, and let's get this over with.

Niko: (calls Dimitri)

Dimitri: (voice) Niko Bellic, it's so good to be working with you again.

Niko: I cannot say I have the same enthusiasm for this partnership. Have you given them the H? I want to get this money and go home.

Dimitri: (voice) You know what? I thought, "Why should we hand over the H for this price?" I thought it'd be easier if I just killed those guys and kept it.

Niko: Easier for who? What the fuck are you doing? Me and Phil are in their compound. What's going to happen when they find out?

Dimitri: (voice) If I was you, I'd go and get the money off them. It has to be on the site. That way we all win. Good luck, Niko.

Niko: (hangs up) Fucking Dimitri! He's killed the guys collecting the stuff!

Dash: Shit! You got to be kidding me.

Niko: I wish I was.

Phil: Shit, we're screwed. They ain't gonna let us leave. Alright, if we're fighting, we're fighting for the money. We got the jump on them right now. Follow me.. Both of you.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Phil: (gives Niko a Carbine rifle, and Dash a shotgun).

Phil: (pulls out AK47) Alright, the money's in there. Once we're in, it's all or nothing.

Niko and Dash: Let's go then.

Phil: Come after me... [shoots the skylight].

Phil: (shooting and screaming gibberious).

Dash: (shoots three people dead with her shotgun).

They battle along the floor and the catwalks to a small office on the opposite side of the building. The office door is locked.

Phil: Niko, I can't get in. You gotta give me some help.

They manage to kick open the door as a Russian runs out the other side with the bag of cash.

Phil: The punk is geting away with the money. I ain't come this far to let it go. Come on.

The Russian drives away in a truck.

Dash: We need a car if we're gonna chase that bastard.

Niko and Phil and Dash chase the Russian in a circle around the docks, then on the roads, to eventually stop and kill him.

Niko: We got it.

Phil: Thank fucking God. That certainly wasn't simple.

LATER:

Phil: Fucking Dimitri. I ain't never been put in a situation like that before.

Niko: I guess you get used to it when you hang around him long enough.

Phil: If they'd gotten tipped off before Dimitri called us, we woulda been fucked. It woulda been an execution.

Niko: Dimitri likes to set up executions. He set up his best friend Mikhail Faustin.

Dash: You gonna kill him then?

Niko: No, it's over for me, I'm out. If I was going to kill him I would have done that instead of this deal. Now I got the money and I'm going to forget all about this shit.

Phil: Good luck to you, man. I hope it works out.

LATER AGAIN:

Niko: (calls Kate while Dash is still in the backseat) Hey, Kate. I decided to work with that guy. I don't know if it was the right decision but I did it. He screwed me over again.

Kate: (voice) You see, Niko. You should have gone with your instinct not to trust him. I can't believe you could care about money that much.

Niko: Well, we do what we can to survive, Kate. Are you coming to Roman's wedding?

Kate: (voice) I don't think so, Niko. I don't want to be around you right now... I'm sorry. (hangs up).

Niko: Damn.. I still need to bring someone... Hey Dash wanna go to the we-

Dash: No!

Niko: Pleeease?

Dash: I'm not going to a stupid wedding!

AT THE WEDDING:

Dash: (dressed up) I am NOT happy about this.

Niko: What was the last thing you were EVER happy about?

Dash: ... Shut up.

They meet up with Roman.

Roman: (to Niko) look at you in those fancy clothes.. Trying to outstay the groom on his wedding night. Hahaha... Let's go.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Mallorie: You ready?

Roman: Sure am.. I just hope that crazy guy doesn't find us.

FLASHBACK:

Trevor: Roman! How come you didn't invite me to your wedding!?

Roman: Well.. You burned down my Long Beach apartment.

Trevor: Your still mad about that?

Roman: Yes.. Now please go away.

Trevor Fine.

LATER:

Roman: Well, Mallorie, I'm so excited about this we- OH MY GOD!

Trevor: (burned Roman's car) TAKE THAT ROMAN! (Maniacal laughter).

Roman: God damn it.. That's the second time this week!

Trevor: (still laughing as the cops come and throw him in their police car)

Mallorie: (sighs) I'll call a cap.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

MEANWHILE:

Johnny: BILLY!

Billy: Haha.. About time you got here..

Johnny: (points handgun) I'll kill you!

Billy: Come on. You don't know how to use that thing.

Johnny: Oh really? (turns the gun sideways) What if I hold it sideways like a black guy?

Billy: (scared) Whoa man!.. Take it easy, all right?

Johnny: I hate you Billy!.. I ALWAYS hated you!

Billy: You gonna shoot me than? Or just keep standing there staring at me?

Johnny: I will!... Eventually.

Billy: Hurry up! I'm getting bored.

Johnny: I will! I will!.. Just be patient.

Billy: (lies to anger him) I fucked Ashley and Carly BOTH!

Johnny: You prick!

Billy: (wanting him to shoot already) Then do it! What are you waiting for? Go on!

Johnny: I will! I'LL BLOW YOUR FUCKIN HEAD OFF!

Billy: THAN DO IT!

Johnny: I WILL!

Billy: Than why am I still alive!?

Johnny: Becau-.. Shut up!

Billy: JUST FUCKIN DO IT!

Johnny: Look.. just give me a second.

(Johnny never dose anything for five whole minutes).

Billy: PUSSY! (tries to stab him with knife)

Johnny: (finally shoots Billy dead).

-------------------------------------------------------------------

SEVERAL DAYS LATER:

Niko: Dimitri! You and I are gonna finish this!

Dimitri: Fuck you Bellic!

Niko: No fuck YOU Dimitri!.. I KNEW it was a mistake to work with you!.. But I DID... I promised Roman to start forgiving.. And now you took him!... I FUCKIN HATE YOU!

Dimitri: (a bit annoyed) Yes! I am aware of that.

Niko: I have more respect for the shit I invaded my toilet with, than I for you. I'm surprised ANYBODYnlikes you for all you do.. Your a cruel, ugly, annoying-

20 minutes later

Niko: (still talking as he chases after Dimitri on the roof) over confident, backstabbing, son of a bitch!... And when I find you! swear I am gonna I will rip out your eyes, jab them down your throat and have you watch as I slowly rip each body part off and cut them into bite sized pieces and tha-

5 hours later:

Niko: (still talking as he chases after Dimitri on the boat) And when it's finally all done, I will cut off your head and place it over my fireplace, as a constant reminder of what a cold hearted FUCK looks like!.. and this WILL happen, I will hunt you down and-

2 hours later:

Niko: (still talking as he's getting on Jacob's helicopter) And than.. And only than, would I be able to move on!

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Dimitri: (Is süddenly shot in the stomach).

Niko: (approaches) Welcome to America.

Dimitri: (translated) Screw you... You dick.

Niko: Yeah well.. Kill my cousin.. And this is what happens. (shoves a grenade down Dimitri's throat and walks away as it goes off, pieces of Dimitri flying all over the place).

Jacob: Come on Niko man. Get out of here. Let's go. Come on! Wha gwan. Come on. Let's go!

Niko: Roman... never hurt... anyone.

Jacob: I know. I know. Let's go man. It's over. You won.


THE END:

For REAL this time..
When it comes to video games, we all have many, many, many different opinions… And some of those opinions may just get you castrated and hunted like some filthy animal for sport… what I’m trying to say is that there are some opinions that are not so popular in the gaming community, and those opinions could lead to some… disagreements within said community. I don’t see myself as having so much opposite opinions, but the ones that I do have are… pretty opposing compared to what is the usual opinions I see. So, before I pretty much write my suicide note, I would like to give a few...
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(Hey there! Welcome to a new story that I'm making named Network 999. I'm making this myself right now and it's going to be quite a long story!

The characters in this will be based on friends of mine on Fanpop, so that's going to be pretty fun. Also, this is going to be my very first official fan-fiction series, so that's ALSO exciting!

I hope you guys enjoy it, I know I will. XD)

It is the year 2087, and technology nowadays is extremely advanced, being able to do what used to be very difficult tasks with ridiculous ease.

The Internet (called Network 999 in this world) is also even more powerful...
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added by Seanthehedgehog
video
the
music
comedy
Art by AquaMarine
Art by AquaMarine
When it comes to horror, my favorite thing about it are the monsters. They make something so much more creepy. It could be Candy Land of all things. If a Silent Hill-like creature was put in there, it would make it so much more disturbing. These monsters can be anything from aliens that traverse space, demonic hellspawns, manifestations of human atrocities and selfish emotions, and more. But, what is it about monsters in horror that makes them scary. Why do people find things like the Alien franchise scary, or consider Silent Hill as one of the best horror games ever? Well, let’s take a look...
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added by Windwakerguy430
added by Windwakerguy430
added by Windwakerguy430
added by Seanthehedgehog
Swagmaster, and Chris must stop a ninja.
video
comedy
the
games
music
nintendo
Some time during middle school, my parents got into this really bad fight. So bad, that my dad left and went to Middletown, or as I like to call it, A piece of the worst part of New York, and my mother, along with my and my siblings, went with our mother to our grandmother’s house. She lived in a big three story house, with a whole bunch of space. However, she was usually grumpy, always getting mad at the smallest things. Like whenever I played Pokemon Black and White too much on my DS. I would play that game like crazy, even at the dinner table, and then my grandma would go on about “Back...
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Now, what is an overworld? Well, it is a place where the player can explore to his or her full extent. It is something where you can just hang out instead of progressing the games story. So, I decided to make a list of my ten personal favorite overworlds in games. Note, this is my list, so sorry if there is an overworld that you wanted to see that wasn’t here. Now, with that said, lets start the list

Fortune City
Fortune City


#10: Fortune City - Now, this is lower, since it is a LOT smaller than the later entries on the list, but I still had to put it on this list for fun. Now, Fortune City is a town...
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Now, video games have a lot of thieves. However, what no one told you was that video games have a lot of thieves THAT SUCK! So, today, I want to talk about the Top 5 Worst Thieves in Video Games. Note that these have to be thieves. They can’t have committed any other crimes. So, the guys from GTA are all out. Now, with that, lets start the list

Team Rocket
Team Rocket


#5: Team Rocket from Pokemon - Now, I know what you’re thinking. “Wait, this is the anime. I thought we were talking about video games”. Well, Pokemon is based off a video game, plus this is my list, so I’m counting them. Team...
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posted by Windwakerguy430
Sullivan: (Waits for plane)
Chuck: So, Sullivan, you were behind this the whole time
Sullivan: That's right, Chuck. I started the outbreak. We need Queens to make Zombrex. Without it, we would lose our most important people
Chuck: No, I was talking about leaving the toilet seat open. You were the one who did that
Sullivan: ............. Yes
Chuck: Now your gonna pay (Fights Sullivan)
Sullivan: Man, he is still an idiot (Fights back)
(After a deadly fight)
Chuck: (Falls on his face)
Sullivan: Well, it looks like you lost, Chuck. Face it. We're the good guys. Not you
Chuck: Oh, really. Well, it looks like...
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added by Windwakerguy430
video
posted by Windwakerguy430


Man, I am just pumping these articles out today. Must be that sweatshop ambition. I don’t have a lot of arcade games that I am super fond of. Not that I hate them or anything, it’s just that most of my experiences in arcades were playing the original Mortal Kombat, Street Fighter II and Third Strike, and Tekken 3. So yeah, most of them were just fighting games. Those joysticks just work so well with fighting games. But one arcade game that caught my interest was one game by Sega, known as Crazy Taxi.
Okay, first off, I never actually got the chance to play Crazy Taxi in arcades. I...
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So, I am not sure what this video is called, but I assure you, what I witnessed, and what people say about it is so revolting, that it makes me regret living in this generation. So, since I don't know the name, I will just call it "Horrible Mother".
So, this video starts with some woman feeding her, I'm guessing, 4 year old daughter. She looked four, at least. So, she won't eat any of the food, so, how does the mother respond to this. By smacking her on the back of the head three times...... Why? Trust me, it gets MUCH worse from here. So, after she's done eating, she throws up. A good parent...
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added by Windwakerguy430
video
posted by Seanthehedgehog

Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see. Pingas
Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see. Pingas


It was a wonderful day in Canterlot, until some ponies started panicking.

Con: What's going on?
P: Discord is back, and he's murdering more ponies!
Con: I'll stop him!
Discord: Keep it up! Everypony in this town must die!
Korean ponies: Affirmative! *kill each other*
Discord: Don't kill each other! Only kill the ones that live here.
Con: *shoots Discord*
Discord: You really think that pistol of yours will work?
Con: I shot you in the arm! Why aren't you bleeding?
Discord: Because, I'm invincible!
Con: *takes away invincibility* Not anymore....
continue reading...