Chapter 12 Goodbye

It had been a few months since Bonnie and Lucy had successfully expelled Klaus from Damon's body. Damon had returned to being the same Damon that Elena had grown to love but the events that took place will never go away. Damon knew that no matter how much he redeemed himself, the actions that he did would not be so easily forgiven.

Delena would still not go near him no matter how much Elena told her that he wasn't mean anymore. Her heartbeat would speed up dramatically whenever he was near her and she would quickly run out of the room.

Damon poured himself a glass of alcohol as he sat on the couch, twirling the toxic drink around in the tumbler. He may be in control of his body but that doesn't erase the damage he had done. It took Elena a couple of weeks before he was even allowed back into the house. God he just wanted to drive a stake through his heart already, but he knew that wouldn't solve anything. It would just make things harder on Elena. He didn't want to ever see that kind of pain on her face ever again.

The creaking of the floorboard was heard and Delena appeared, looking around the living room frantically. "Momma?"

Damon rubbed at his face as he got up and walked over to Delena who was staring at him fearfully. "Mommy's not here." Damon reached down to pick her up but she backed away.

"When she coming back?" Delena looked up at Damon with fearful eyes as she slowly grabbed the wall with her tiny hands, making Damon feel even more worse.

"She'll be here in a minute princess." Damon said in his most softest and nicest voice he could manage. "Did you want anything?"

Delena shook her head quickly, her body on the verge of bolting from the room any minute. "No!"

Damon watched as Delena quickly ran off, running and falling up the stairs as she hastily made it to her bedroom and slammed the door.

The sound of his heart breaking couldn't be any more louder.

Bonnie rubbed Elena's shoulder gently as she sat in her house, nursing on a cup of steaming coffee. "Are you sure you're gonna be ok?"

Elena shook her head sadly, tears flinging everywhere. "I don't know what to do anymore. I trust him, Bonnie. I do but he doesn't trust himself and is constantly walking on eggshells around us. I can't bear to see him like this. I-I just can't."

Bonnie wrapped her arms around Elena as she sobbed into her chest, rubbing her back soothingly. "Hey, Damon will be back to himself soon. Trust me you are going to miss going without headaches everyday."

Elena laughed at her beat friend's attempt to cheer her up. She slowly got up. "But Delena can't even go around him. She's so scared of him it's heartbreaking to watch."

"I think it's more heartbreaking for Damon. She was his princess, and now she doesn't want anything to do with him. It's killing him inside."

Elena nodded. "I know. I just don't know what to do. I want everything to return to normal."

Bonnie nodded, her eyes damp with tears. "Me too."

Tears escaped Damon's eyes for the fifth time that day. He hated that his family was afraid of him. He hated Klaus and everything that he did. But most of all he hated himself for what he did to them. His little girl was no longer his baby princess anymore. He could never throw her playfully into the air and hear her squeals of laughter. He could never hold her in his arms while she cried after having a bad dream. He couldn't do anything for her and it absolutely killed him. He was the nightmare that haunted her now. He caused her pain every time they would look at each other. He was a reminder of what his possessed body did to her.

He walked past a wall, glaring coldly at it as the sound of his fist breaking the concrete stone echoed throughout the house. He'd do anything to end their suffering. But there was only one option he had but he wasn't sure if he could go through with it.

The sound of the car parking in the driveway alerted Damon and he knew he had to make a fast decision. The pitiful sounds of his daughter's crying from his bedroom broke his heart, and soon he made up his mind. It was one of the most hardest things he ever had to do, and he would hate himself forever for it. But it had to be done.

The door to the Salvatore mansion opened and Elena walked in, dropping her purse on the couch and going straight to Delena's room. The talk with Bonnie had really helped her and gave her a renewed sense if hope. Her and Damon would get past this just like they have gotten past anything in their relationship. She could feel it in her bones as she walked up the stairs to Delena's room. She opened the door and a wave of relief but concern washed over her when she saw her daughter perfectly fine except for the fact that her face was red and puffy. "Delena, what's wrong honey?"

Delena looked up to see her mother standing there and she quickly jumped off the bed and ran into her mother's arms, crying and sobbing into her chest. "Momma, I-I was so scarwed!"

"Shh..." Elena cooed the wailing child as she sat down in the rocking chair and rocked Delena until she was calm. "Tell me what happened that got you so upset."

Delena looked up at Elena before wiping off her tears and started talking. "Well, I went to see if you were here because I had another bad dream and all I saw was Daddy."

Elena sighed, running her fingers through Delena's frazzled hair. "Was Daddy the bad dream?"

Delena nodded. "Yes. He was hitting me and telling me that he no love me anymore."

Elena fought back the tears that were threatening to spill. "Now sweetheart," Elena began, turning Delena's head so she was facing her, "you know that Daddy loves you very much and that there was a bad man inside of Daddy doing all of those things to you. That wasn't really him angel."

"But he still scares me." Delena sniffled, burying her head into the crock of Elena's neck.

"I know he does baby." Elena softly replied, rubbing her daughter's back until she fell asleep. She knew how traumatic that had been for her and that it wasn't going to be easy for such a small child to overcome so easily. She had been scarred beyond belief. It was torture seeing her daughter scared to be in her own house and near Damon, who loved her more then anything and tried so hard to fix the damage that Klaus had done.

Carefully, she eased herself up and placed the child back into her bed, covering her up with her pink blankets that were decorated with princesses and fairies. Elena planted one last kiss on Delena's forehead before walking out of the room. A crystal tear made its way down her face as she closed the door, walking to her room that she just resumed sharing with Damon again. For weeks he had slept in the guest room before she was conformable letting him back into her room. Just as she crossed the threshold, her eyes immediately landed on Damon sitting on her bed, looking straight ahead at nothing with a blank look on his face. He didn't even acknowledge her presence as she walked closer to him. "Damon?" she spoke timidly, edging even closer to his statue like body.

But he didn't even bat an eye at her words. His whole body looked as if to be suspended in time. Elena took a deep breath. "Damon, we need to talk."

Finally, his eyes slithered in her direction for a fraction of a second before returning to staring at the wall. "About what? There's nothing to talk about."

Elena couldn't believe how broken his voice sounded. He sounded so weak and venerable. Her heart shattered into pieces. She couldn't stand seeing him like this. "Damon please, I need to talk about this as much as you do too."

"I said there's nothing to talk about!" Damon snapped, glaring his icy daggers in Elena's direction.

Elena jumped, seeing the anguish and pain that Damon's crystal blue orbs held. She just wanted to take all of his suffering away. "Damon, I just want to help you. It kills me to see you like this. It kills me!"

In a flash, Damon was standing infront of Elena, his angry breathing coming out in short breaths. "And did you ever think about what I'm going through? Huh? Everyday that I'm with you and Delena it's just a reminder of how much I hurt the both of you! I can't live with what I've done!"

Tears ran down Elena's cheeks in waves as she grabbed Damon's head firmly and held it in place as she looked deep into his eyes. "Damon, we are going to get through this. If we give up then Klaus wins, and we can't let that happen."

"Klaus is dead Elena." Damon spat out. "He wins either way. He wanted to die so I would have to live with the guilt. This is how he got his revenge on me, by making me feel guilt everyday that I'm breathing. Everyday that I see you is a reminder of the monster that I really am."

"You are not a monster Damon!" Elena particularly yelled in his face. "You are so much more then that. You have changed so drastically over the years it's not even funny! You are not the same ruthless killer that came to Mystic Falls, hell bent on destroying everything. You have us Damon. We are your family and we will always stay by your side through thick and thin."

Damon stared at Elena for a moment, processing what she just said. He shook his head sadly. "Even if you never leave me, how am I supposed to face everyday of looking into your eyes and seeing the hurt and pain that I caused you. The scars on your body may have disappeared but the memory of me hurting you will never go away. Even if I compelled you, I would have to live with the pain everyday, knowing that I hurt you and our child. Delena can't even look at me without crying and running away, and you know what? I don't blame her! She has way more sense then you do. At least she's able to know when something is dangerous and to stay as far away from them as possible!"

Elena looked into Damon's eyes, pleasing with him to listen to her. "She's just a baby Damon! She doesn't understand! She's traumatized beyond belief and it's all because of Klaus! Why can't you see that NONE of this your fault and that you have nothing to feel guilty for!"

Damon's blue waves soon calmed and his eyes softened, his voice taking on a different tone. "I could've stopped it Elena, but I was just too weak. I let my weakness win and therefore you got hurt. I can never forgive myself for it."

Elena gripped Damon's shoulders tightly, looking him dead in the eye. "No, you didn't. Klaus was just too strong for you. You gave it your all. You tried everything in your power to save Delena and I but you failed. That's all that matters is that you protected us to the best of your ability. If you hadn't broken free of the chains, Klaus would still be in there, hurting us and maybe even killing us if he wanted to. You saved us Damon. You have nothing to feel guilty about."

Tears fell down Damon's face as he looked into Elena's eyes and saw the buried pain that she kept hidden behind the chocolate orbs. He knew that he was the cause of everything. He just wanted them to live a happy life, even if he couldn't be apart of it. At least he knew that they were happy. "I'm so sorry Elena. I don't say it enough but I love you so much. But this, this right here is destroying me. I can't bear to see another ounce of pain on your face. Which is why I'm leaving Mystic Falls and never coming back. You'll be happier that way."

Damon's head snapped to the side as Elena's hand connected to his face. Tears cling to her reddened cheeks as salt water splattered onto the floor. "How could you even say that Damon? How will I be happier without you in my life? You're the one that gave me life, that gave me a reason to go on after I broke up with Stefan and found out that I was needed to break the curse. You helped me move above and beyond that and I became a better person. I need you Damon. Don't you dare leave me."

Damon stared into Elena's pleading eyes and his heart broke even more at what he was about to do. He couldn't bear the rejection of his daughter and the pain in her eyes whenever she looked at him, knowing that he was the cause of it. He couldn't even look at Elena without being taken back into that basement where he raped her infront of his daughter. Every time he looked at her all he saw was her pained expression and heard her horrid cries as he rammed himself inside of her, making her bleed and making her feel an abundance amount of pain. He knew he shouldn't feel guilty but the guilt was still there, eating away at him and reminding him who he really was. There wasn't a second that went by where he wished he lying somewhere dead. He looked into Elena's pleading eyes and watery face, letting a single tear slide down his face. "Elena, I can't stand this anymore. The pain, it's just too much. How can I live with myself for what I did? To you? To Delena? I broke nearly every bone in her body when we were in that basement. I tortured you for hours and didn't feed you for days. I whipped you with chains until you back was bleeding and raw. I threw my own child into the fucking celling and laughed as she screamed bloody murder and then I rammed her into the wall until her face was particularly deformed! Then, just like that you forgive my actions in mere weeks? Months?" Damon paced back and forth from one wall to the other until he turned to Elena, his entire frame looking completely shattered. "I don't deserve someone as forgiving as you. I shouldn't even be standing here right now. I should be buried six feet under just like Klaus is! I don't deserve my undead life after everything that I've done."

Elena shook her head as she closed the space between them and crashed her lips into his. Damon was taken aback but quickly started kissing back, running his hands through her hair. He held her head gently in his hands as he deepened the kiss. He savored this moment of joy because it would be the last one he ever shared with her. Slowly, he laid her down gently on the bed and trailed kisses from her chest all the way to her lips. Elena grabbed a fistful of Damon's hair and yanked it back forcefully, looking at him with tears shining like the twinkling stars. "You are not leaving me Damon. I love you too much to just give up on everything. We can work through this like we always have."

Damon didn't respond, instead he pried her fingers out of his hair and pinned them to the bed while straddling her legs. He leaned down and kissed her furiously and roughly, keeping his eyes locked onto her face that was scrunched up in pleasure. He felt his fangs elongate and bit into Elena's neck, piercing into the creamy skin and wounding his arms around Elena's neck. Elena moaned in pleasure, not noticing Damon unclasping the vervain necklace from her neck and using his vampire speed, he hid it in his pocket out of sight. His eyes burned with flaming hot tears that begged to be released and run down his face. He couldn't believe what he was about to do. Ever so carefully, Damon pulled away from Elena's neck and bit into his wrist, rubbing his blood across the wound so that it would heal instantly. He didn't want Elena to have a reminder of him. She didn't need it. Elena watched him as he got off of her and put his clothes back on with a quizzed expression. "Damon, what are you doing?"

Damon sighed as he put the last article of clothing on and turned to Elena, instantly cupping her cheeks with his hands. He couldn't hold in the tears anymore and they fell from his face, burning his skin as they went. But this was nothing compared to the pain that he was feeling in his shattered heart. Elena watched with morbid shock as his tears dripped off his face one by one, hitting the floor like marble balls. "I'm so sorry Elena. I don't want to do this, but I have to." Elena wanted to pull him in for a hug and console him, but for some reason she was frozen in place, unable to move as Damon looked deep into her eyes, his eyes dilating. "You are going to forget everything."

She looked down at her neck and to her horror, discovered that her necklace was gone. Elena could feel her mind screaming at Damon, begging to stop him but it was too late. Her eyes widened and soon she was floating on a cloud with two shining blue eyes filling up her vision. "I am going to forget everything." Elena repeated in a trance, her mind completely blank as Damon's mind compulsion took over her body.

More tears fell from Damon's eyes as he continued. He hated himself so much but he knew this had to be done. It was the only way Elena could go on living her life without being reminded of the one that caused her so much pain. "You are going to forget me, our relationship, our love, everything. You are going to forget everything you once knew about Damon Salvatore. You won't even remember his name or knew that he even existed. Delena had a father, but he died a long time ago."

Damon finished his compulsion and took one last look at the woman that made him human, made him who he is. He didn't want to leave her but it was for the best. She could move on with life and hopefully find a normal person that could make her happy. She wouldn't have to deal with the supernatural anymore after he was gone. "God I love you so much. You have no idea how much this is killing me, but it has to be done so you can finally be free of me and move on with your life. God I wish you didn't have to forget this, but you do. Goodbye Elena." Damon placed one last kiss on Elena's head before he vanished, never to be seen or heard from again.

The end