Just picture Kristoff on the far right next to Flynn, I suppose. There ~is~ room for him.
11. Snow White’s Prince (“One Song”)
"ONE SONG! I have but ONE SOOONG!"
Now, I know his name isn’t actually One Song, but it’s the backbone of his defining scene. And really? It's not that impressive. No offense, One Song lovers (are there any?), but I just don't like this guy. How does he know Snow White? Why does he feel so entitled to jump merrily over her fence and, later, kiss her assumed-to-be corpse? Where does he even come from? So many unanswered questions.
On top of that, he wears too much lipstick and clearly learned all of his romantic moves from watching a particularly bad production of Romeo and Juliet.
10. Kristoff
"Reindeers are better than people. Sven, don't you think that's true?"
He may not be an actual Disney Prince in the lineup right now, but since the Princes are defined by being in love with the Princesses, he's sure to be added eventually. That being said...
I don't like this guy. Maybe it's his gruff and judgmental attitude, the seemingly inappropriate relationship with his pet reindeer, or how his love for Anna comes out of nowhere (or how I generally dislike Frozen), but there's something about him that rubs me the wrong way. I even like Hans more than Kristoff.
I don't think he's attractive, either, with that bulbous nose and constantly goofy expression. Sorry-not-sorry.
9. Prince Charming
"So this is the miracle that I've been dreaming of... Sooo thiiiis iiiiis loooooooove."
We have another unnamed prince! And like One Song, Prince Charming suffers from acute blandness. Even so, I think Charming has slightly more personality.
He may be lazy (having his father's assistant track down Cinderella for him, and all), but I really like the montage that accompanies "So This Is Love". We see Charming and Cinderella staring into each other's eyes and dancing, and he gives her a private tour of the grounds filled with laughter and chitchat. Somehow, they didn't exchange names within that chitchat, but I digress. He is #9 on my list.
I don't think he's particularly good-looking, but he has a nice-guy aura about him, which is nice.
Basically, I like Charming a lot more than One Song, and I can excuse his laziness when I think about Kristoff.
8. Aladdin
"If only they'd look closer... Would they see a poor boy? No siree. They'd find out there's so much more to me."
Aladdin's cute. I think that's generally accepted as fact in the Disney world, right? Well, if you look past those aww-inducing expressions and mannerisms, you're left with a liar.
A nonsensical liar, at that. "Gee. I really like this girl who seems to like the real me. What do I do? I'VE GOT IT. I'll disguise myself as everything she hates and win her over that way! Yeah, that'll work!" Granted, I think that thought process may be too complicated for Al.
I admire his quick thinking and Robin Hood-esque charm, but I can't get past the constant lying and bad decision-making. Moreover, he looks too much like Tom Cruise for my liking, which was intentional on the part of the animators. Blech. (I don't buy into that boyish charm, anyway.)
7. The Beast ("Adam")
"But when we touched, she didn't shudder at my paw! No, it can't be... I'll just ignore... But then she's never looked at me that way before."
While I don't fault him for not allowing a strange old woman into his house (look what happened to Snow White!) at the tender age of eleven, I don't really like the Beast.
He's kind of cute and his portrait reminds me of Dorian Grey, so there's a point in his favor, but his outbursts are inexcusable and I don't really buy into his shyness. "A girl! EEK! I'm frightened and I don't know how to act! Boo-hoo. Maybe I should just get angry. Women like that sort of thing, right?"
I suppose he is better at the end, but meh. I don't hate "Adam", but I certainly don't love him, either.
6. Prince Eric
"Believe me, Grim, when I find the right girl, I'll know. Without a doubt, it'll just--BAM--hit me. Like lightning!"
Prince Eric is also pretty cute, but not exactly my taste. It's nice that he's young and vibrant and a dog lover (I'm more of a cat person, myself), but... I don't know.
I think he and Ariel are absolutely adorable together, and if I was ranking "Cutest" Disney Couples, they'd be #1. But at the same time, he's almost too cute. He's like a little kid to me. And I'm not really fond of the animation style, so that kills "attractive" points. Sorry, legions of Eric fans.
5. Flynn Rider/Eugene
"I have dreams like you--no, really--just much less touchy-feely. They mainly happen somewhere warm and sunny, on an island that I own, tanned and rested and alone, surrounded by enormous piles of money!"
Eugene is like a better, grown-up Aladdin who shows actual signs of improvement. Seriously.
I actually like his goofy humor and the "smolder" and how the animators designed him to be the typical Perfect Guy. It's also great how we as an audience can see him falling for Rapunzel over the course of the movie--his expression is particularly hilarious when Maximus catches him watching Rapunzel dancing in the village. That clip gets me every time.
The main reason why Flynn/Eugene is so high on my list is the transformation he goes through as a character, from an obnoxious thief to a genuinely caring (but still kind of obnoxious) guy.
4. Prince Naveen
"When I'm human--and I'm gonna be--I'm gonna tear it up like I did before, and that's the royal guarantee!"
I'll get it out of the way now by saying that Naveen is one of the best-looking Princes of the bunch, in my opinion. So obviously that has a part in his placement here. #unapologetic
Now that we've established that, I appreciate how he goes from a smooth-talking ladies man to a prince in love (aww). And he's a big music fan, which is neat to see. His relationship with Tiana is also really cute.
3. John Smith
"Hundreds of dangers await, and I don't plan to miss one in a land I can claim, a land I can tame! The greatest adventure is MINE!"
I really like John Smith's adventurous spirit and how he can open his mind to communicate and fall in love with Pocahontas so easily. It's also refreshing how "grown up" their relationship is, and I don't mind that the whole thing is metaphorical (obviously they don't actually bypass the language barrier that quickly).
It's very romantic to me how Pocahontas and John Smith represent a true meeting of the hearts, and how they transcend their cultural boundaries to be together. I practically cry at the ending every time I watch the movie.
The things that bar him from placing higher on my list are (a) historical accuracy issues, and (b) I don't find the closeups of him attractive. He looks pretty good in motion, but I don't like his features and curiously stiff hair.
2. Shang
"You must be swift as a coursing river, with all the force of a great typhoon, with all the strength of a raging fire, mysterious as the dark side of the MOOON!"
What a man!
Mulan was, bar none, my favorite Disney movie when I was little. It got me through a week-long hospital stay when I was four and afflicted with a near-fatal case of double pneumonia. I watched it around the clock, and I know the movie in and out even to this day.
And, as is deserving of such a great movie, Mulan has an equally great "Prince". Shang may be very serious, but he kind of has to be, what with being a captain in the army. (And I giggle at my head-canon of him starting to fall in love with Ping!Mulan and second-guessing his sexuality. But that's a different article entirely!)
Basically, Shang's placement on this list can be summed up in the link. Rewatch it, no matter how many times you've seen it. You can thank me later.
1. Prince Phillip
"I know you, I walked with you once upon a dream. I know you, the gleam in your eyes is so familiar a gleam..."
Our winner, ladies and gentlemen, is the charming, brave, handsome, funny, and romantic PRINCE PHILLIP!
He's basically my ideal man. Phillip is just an all-around great character. Not only does he possess all of the attributes in the previous paragraph, but look what he went through for Aurora! He went up against the Mistress of All Evil and All Her Powers of Hell with nary a complaint, and only because the woman he loved was in danger.
With Phillip, we have a prince that was willing to risk everything--his title, his relationship with his father, and even his life--for the peasant girl that he loved. That's seriously impressive!
I love how he just pulses with personality, from the moment he comes onscreen as a child (what a far cry from his predecessors, One Song and Charming!!). Even more, he's classically handsome and looks athletic, and he obviously knows his way around a sword. Flora, Fauna, and Merryweather couldn't have defeated Maleficent without him, and that's a definite accomplishment.
So hooray for Phillip! Here are some more pictures of our winner:
Thanks for reading! What's your ranking?
