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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Song: link

May 8, 2006

Lewis: *On a bed doing a mare in the butt*
Mare 39: Oh Lewis! This is excellent!!

Next day

Mare 85: *Giving Lewis a blowjob*

Next day

Lewis: *Laying down on a bed*
Mare: *Giving Lewis a hoofjob*

My sexual activities in Illinois was definitely getting me a lot of cash. On the 11th though, things seemed to be fucked up. Bob needed some silencers for a few of his guns. I got some, but they didn't seem to satisfy Bob. He didn't even try putting them on his guns, and he said...

Bob: This is shit! None of these silencers fit on my guns. Go back to the store, and get different silencers, and stop seeing those mares.

Now today was busy. My brother, and his four daughters came by for a visit, but my brother got involved in an accident. So, while his daughters stayed with Andy at my place, I had to get my brother from the hospital.

Lewis: *On a highway. He's not concentrating, but realizes he's driving towards other cars that stopped, because of an accident*

Stop the song

Lewis: *Brakes, and stops, two centimeters away from the bumper of a Volvo*
Police Pony 84: Sir, are you okay?
Lewis: I guess I was a little distracted.
Police Pony 84: Okay, be careful from now on.

9:00 AM

Lewis: *Walking into the hospital*
Nurse: *Sees Lewis* My goodness, you're sweating.
Lewis: Yes.
Nurse: I think we better have you lay down somewhere.
Lewis: Ma'am, it's okay. Just let me get my brother.
Nurse: It's okay, let's wait in a room for a doctor. Okay?
Lewis: Better idea.

Inside a closet, you could hear the nurse having an orgasm.

Doctor 53: Sounds like Nurse Mirabella is at it again.
Doctor 77: Did you ever get it on with her?
Doctor 53: Not yet.
Nurse: *Walks out of the closet with Lewis*
Lewis: Thank you.
Nurse: You're welcome. *Walks over to the doctors* Now, who's next?

Song (Start at 0:18): link

10:45 AM

After dropping off my brother at my house, I had to go with Andy to the supermarket to pick up more booze for The Silver Ballroom. While we were at the supermarket, I also found somepony that wanted my silencers, and he payed me a good amount of cash.

Pony 84: *Gives Lewis a thousand dollars*
Lewis: Thanks pal. This means a lot. *Goes with Andy back to the car to go home*

11:05 AM

Back at home, one of my nieces wanted to go check out the Gateway Arch, so I volunteered to take her. I only wish I knew what was coming.

Lewis: *Backing out of the driveway*
Gangsters: *Blocking the driveway with a Corvette, a Lincoln, and a Honda*

Stop the song

Gangsters: *Pointing guns at Lewis* Get out!! Get out of the fucking car!!!!
Lewis: Goddammit. *Gets out*
Gangster 93: Put your hooves in the fucking air!!
Andy: *Watching everyone else panic, he runs upstairs to hide*
Gangsters: *Shooting Lewis' brother*
Daughters: You don't have to kill us! *Die*
Gangsters: That's everyone. Let's go.
Andy: Shit.

In a train yard

Gangster 39: You realize how much trouble you're in?
Lewis: Why are you doing this to me?
Gangster 39: You know those mares you were fuckin' in Illinois? Some of them happened to be my cousins, and I don't like cops fuckin' my cousins. What do we do with this guy?
Gangster 94: Throw him off a bridge into a train.
Gangster 39: No no, we did that with somepony yesterday.
Andy: *Pulls up in his Subaru* Let him go!
Gangster 83: On what condition?
Andy: Take all of this. *Puts a bag of money onto the ground* Inside this bag is 2 million dollars worth of money. Real money. You let him go, this money is all yours.
Gangster 53: Deal, and we'll also take this. *Takes the keys to Lewis' Chrysler* So long you two.
Lewis: *Walks into Andy's Subaru*
Andy: *Drives away*

2006 is without a doubt, the worst year of my life.

2 B Continued
added by Seanthehedgehog
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