//CHAPTER ONE- Prologue//
YOU DONT HAVE TO READ THIS IF IT BOREDS YOU



Hello, I'm Cilan. We all have witnessed some pretty strange things. But before I tell you these unexpected "moments", I'd like to tell you a little about us. When I say "us", I mean is this group of ours. This group includes, sweet Dawn, feisty Iris, my wonderful Ash, and of course- ME!

Ash is a- I don't know how to put it. Lets just say a dumb-ass with chicks flaunting all over him. It's always been that way... I guess you could say I'm a little jealous.

Iris is a know-it-all. She's taking away Ciash! Allow me to make this clear: when I say "Ciash" I mean the relationship between me and Ash.

Then there's Dawn, my one and only Girlfriend. I mean Ash would be better but Dawn was my only choice. She's smart enough for me, funny, and beautiful.

This is our love circle:
Ash likes Iris who likes him back; and I like Ash, and I like Dawn who likes me back.

I've told you about everyone...except myself. I'm going to start by saying that if any one of us would make it in this world, it'd be me. I'm an A-class Pokémon Connoisseur. I'm very classy and I'm an amazing chef and I've had some experience in investigating, too!

Now, you're probably wondering about our ages. Of course it's rather un obvious because of our maturity level to know just by looking at us.

Ash is definitely the least mature- which makes sense because he's the youngest with the age of 14. The average age for perverts are 15 years old. But then there's Ash, starting early.

Iris is 14.5 leaving her the second youngest. That could be why Irash is working out well- because of how close their ages are. She used to be nice to me...and then she confessed her love to Ash. Now everything she does gives me a bitter taste.

Dawn is barely 16. (She just turned 16 a week ago!) she's light, creamy, and sweet- exactly how I like my desserts.

Then there's me. As the oldest I have to make sure everything is fine and goes right. But I find that kind of stupid because I'm only exactly a year older than Dawn. We found out we had the same birthday, just different years. It's pretty amazing.

I guess that's all you need to know. (At least for now!) You'll find out other things along the way.



(((((((((((((( Author's note: if you have any questions or problems, post them In the comments and I'll be sure to add them! ))))))))))))))


//CHAPTER TWO- Weird things//

The weird things started happening a couple days ago...but I found out only yesterday. Anyways, it was a bright summer morning and everything was beautiful. The sun was shining, Ash was kissing Iris, wait....WHAT? WHY THE HELL IS IRIS KISSING ASH?

"Th-that was my first kiss," Ash said blushing.

"Me too." Iris said as she gazed at the big fountain ahead of them.

Oh please. Like I said, I only fond out yesterday the weird things. This was the least strange.

"Well since it was my first kiss, then I won't ever forget it." Ash looked up down at Iris holding his hand behind his head.

"What the hell is going on here?" I said not noticing how bad the combination was. Ash was a s'more and Iris was Cayenne pepper. How was this even working?

"Well damn. I didn't thing it'd upset you that much!" Ash said as he grimaced in disgust at me.

"Mind your own business!" Iris said breaking into tears and running away. I don't know where she ran....but somehow Ash did.

"Iris! Wait!" Ash began running after her as I felt my heart beat out of my body.

"D-Dawn?!" I could barely speak. She was my Girlfriend and I let the pain between me and my beloved Ash get in the way.

"Yes, Cilan. Anything you need to tell me?" She murmured tapping her foot as her arms crossed.

"Nothing at all, my tasty brûlée. Nothing happened when you were gone. Speaking of when you were gone,weren't you supposed to be home at 8:30? It's only 3:30!"

"Check again dumb-ass." Dawn was now filled with rage and outsmarted me anytime.

"Oh. It's 8:30 and you were suppose to be here at.... 3:30?" I said as I pulled out her work schedule.

"No! It's exactly 3:31!" She had a smart-ass look scattered about her face.

"Who's the dumb-ass now, DUMB-ASS!" It really was 8:30. She must've read her schedule wrong and thought the 8 was a 3.

"Oh...." Dawn reached for her watch, checking the time. "It is. I'm so sorry Cilan!" Dawn rapped her arms around me.

"Are you hungry after a long day of....whatever you were doing?" I started to prepare the kitchen for an "amazing" dinner.

"Yeah. What're we having?" Dawn grew more calm as we talked.

"Anything you want, I guess.." I let out a sigh and I turned the pages of my cookbook, hoping I'd have the ingredients for at least one entrée.

"May we have salmon?"

"Sure but I haven't made salmon in a while..." I was scared I was going to ruin the dish and demolish our relationship between us. Plus I had a wonderful dinner planned. My ideas= GONE

"That's okay! I'll help make it. I was hoping maybe we could spend a little more time with each other and I think this is a great start." Dawn smiled brightly as we began to cook.

That was okay. The dinner was going to taste great anyway. As long as Dawn enjoyed it and had a great time. Luckily, she did. The dinner was mediocre- maybe something I'd see Ash do. JUST KIDDING. It was amazing! Of course I didn't want to tell Dawn that at first because I'm known for my cooking ability. If I realized she was a good chef sooner, we would be married now.

"You like it?" Dawn shoved a piece of salmon up her mouth.

Out of nowhere Ash and Iris come scrambling in the room- mad and screaming at each other. The door slammed behind them leaving a dent in the frame.

"It's not my fault! I mean you're the one who caused all of this!" Ash stuck his hands in the air; his anger becoming roused.

"You know what? Lets just leave all of this behind us. It's okay." Iris kissed Ash leaving them silent for a while.

"What happened? Anything I need to know?" Dawn finished chewing and began to speak.

"No. Not at all. I'll tell you the story after dinner. You'll barf if you hear it at dinner." Ash and Iris giggled.

"Well... I'm finished. You can start now." Dawn put her plate in the sink and briefly stared at me as she was getting back to her seat at the table.

"Okay. You want to start?" Ash nervously stared at Iris as if he was hiding something- A SECRET!

"I'll start. Well, we were going in a canoe-"
"And we got stuck!" Ash said- cutting off Iris. They both turned their heads and looked at each other. They laughed for a couple of seconds and then proceeding to the story.

"Anyways, after several long hours, we managed to make it to land." Iris took a bite from her well-cooked salmon.
"But when we got there.... Iris confessed her love to me." Ash blushed deeply.

"I thought we agreed we weren't telling that part!" Iris became mad; then remembering that kiss. "On the other thought...it's okay, Ash." She grinned showing her sparkling white teeth.

"Well anyways-" ash couldn't continue. He was cut off by ME.

"You guys got drunk and slept with each other?"

"How did you-" Iris cut off Ash, slapping him.

"We didn't. It wasn't like that. There wasn't a bed."

"Yeah, there wasn't." Ash became colorful once more.

"Okay, I guess since you guys won't tell me, I'll have to investigate for myself!" I put on my brown investigation hat. "I will solve this mystery!" I obviously have eyes in the back of my head. "Hmmmmm.... So, give me your cabin room keys, Ash."

"What? Why?" Ash looked mad

"So he could solve the mystery." Iris blushed

"What mystery?" Ash put one hand in his pocket and the other hand behind his back. "Oh, sorry, I guess I wasn't listening."

Wow! How stupider could Ash get? I guess I'm just not used to a disgusting combo of sweet and spicy. In a battle between sweet and spicy, spicy would surely over power sweet. I was thinking very hard about the mystery. I walked about 50 inches away from my cabin, to his.

"Um, Cilan?" Dawn had followed Cilan and had opened the door to Ash and Iris' cabin. She took a peek. "That smell......."

I instantly recognized the smell, the smell of Asahi Black.


//CHAPTER THREE-The findings//

"Asashi Black!" Me and clever Dawn had said that at the same time. I had no clue how Dawn could've figured that out as quick as me... But, that didn't matter right now, what really mattered was why that smell was in Iris and Ash's cabin.

Dawn put on her black cleaning gloves and walked over to the table, that was by the door.
"Yes! I have a clue!" Dawn picked up a bottle cap and smelt it.

"Why are they drinking Asahi Black without me?" I looked at Dawn's beautiful eyes. After that- I honestly couldn't see. The next morning I woke up and didn't remember anything- anything at all.

"Dawn what happened-" I looked to left, and there stood Dawn- naked. "I don't remember anything. Why are you naked?"

"Shh!" Dawn's finger touched my mouth.

"Dawn, is everything okay?" Hesitated, I got out of bed and looks in the mirror. Why did I have all these red kiss marks in me? Dawn never wore lipstick...

"Everything is just fine. Perfect even! Come back here!" Dawn got out of bed and tried running to me.

"Well anyways, I'm taking a shower. I'll be out soon." I just stared at Dawn as I started to take off my clothes. Then I realized something; those red marks were literally all over my body.

"What did we do last night?" I stepped in the shower turning on the water.

"The water is cold."

"Oh! Would you like me to come in with you to make it warmer? I heard your body heat is really hot. But two bodies makes it warmer!" Dawn smiled.

"No thanks...and I'm pretty sure we learn that in Kindergarten.

Okay, so I got out of the shower without Dawn bugging me about anything. When I got out, I was curious. Dawn didn't even answer me when I asked her what happened.

"Dawn! Answer me! What the hell happened last night?" I looked over at Dawn who was getting dressed.
"Nothing! I swear! It was only this morning." She got out her hat, putting it on slowly.

"Well...if there's four of us, then there's this saying I used to know." I tried to recall my past and began to regain my memories.

"So?" Dawn shrugged her shoulders and rolled her eyes.

"If there's four, then two will have something to do with all this hectic mess, and that would be them having sex."

"What the hell was that?" She looked over at me; she seemed confused.

"I don't know. Just something they used to say back in the day."

"Back in the day?"

"Kindergarten." I said. Did they really say that in Kindergarten? I don't know. I had to tell her something...and that wouldn't be the truth. The truth was that me and Ash made it up when Iris was taking a shower a couple months ago.

"Kindergarten? Wow. In my kindergarten, they said stuff way worse." Dawn, Now full with pride smirked at me.

"Okay then. Lets get to breakfast." I looked at my sea-green watch. It was exactly 10:30. "Wow! How long did we sleep in?"

Dawn shrugged her shoulders. "I don't really know. All I'm saying is that I enjoyed it."

"I thought you said nothing happened last night!" She seemed to appear un innocent.

"Right." She just gazed at me for a second, then she picked up her bags and headed for the door.

Me and Dawn started on our long journey: to Ash and Iris' cabin. It was only a yard away...so I wouldn't say it was necessarily a long journey.

"Oh look! A photograph!" Dawn, excited as ever walked towards the object.

"Let me get it first!" I ran even though it was like an inch away from me. I realized something: I was wasting a lot of time. I could've easily just reached down and picked it up.

"It's a pornagraph. An Iris pornagraph!" She reached down and put the picture in her pocket in case she needed it for later.

"Nice try dumb-ass. 'Pornagraph' isn't even a word." I held Dawn's hand as we approached the cabin. Dammit! Why did it take us so long to reach the cabin? It was a fucking yard away!

"Finally. What took you so long?" Ash enthusiastically greeted us in a way that'll forever be his.

"Oh nothing." Dawn began to whistle and it looked as if she tried to seem un-casual.

"Why are you acting so casual, Dawn?" I nudged Dawn, hoping that'll tell her she needs to stop acting stupid.

"No reason! No reason at all!" She winked at me. Really? Why was she acting this way over just a porna- I mean photograph.

"Well, me and Ash had a great time in our cabin last night!" Iris said I a child-ish voice almost as if she was trying to present innocence.

"That's great!" I said looking over at Dawn who was still winking at me. I think she was trying to send me a message that I wasn't even close to getting. Why didn't she just text me it? We brought our phones...but we could do it the hard way if she wanted to.

"Did you Guys sleep together last night? I mean it's okay...because me and Dawn did this morning." I stared at Dawn trying to send her a message and see how well that works out?

"Dawn! Did you get my message?" I winked at her.

"No! I didn't!" She winked at me- again.

"What's going on?" Ash screamed with his fist in the air acting as if he ruled the world.

"I don't know. I guess it's an inside joke that's really far inside..." I walked over to Ash.

"Shouldn't we get going?" Dawn finally stopped winking at me.

"Well, we might have slept together..." Ash apparently knew what we were talking about, but why would he bring that subject up again?

"Ash! Don't tell him!" Iris seemed like she was trying a bit too hard to be angry.

"You guys are like only fourteen...... Not okay!" Dawn exclaimed...

To me, that was weird... I mean, like what the hell?! Why would dawn say that? I slept with her when I was 14!? That was a week after I met her! Why is she being all weird?

"It was cool!" Ash called out, he put his fist in the air.

Suddenly, I noticed something, Ash was only wearing his underwear. How could I have missed that?! He was there, in his underwear the whole time and I didn't even notice.

"Put on some clothes!" I guessed Dawn noticed Ash too. "Yeh, I'm talking to you, Iris! I was wrong, Dawn had noticed Iris in a bra and panties.

"What is going on?!" I finally stepped back out of my very deep thoughts.

So, both Iris and Ash were in their underwear! Great! Just great!

"Just get dressed, and then we'll leave." I walked out of the room, closed the door, and sat on the bench right outside their cabin.






//CHAPTER FOUR- Breakfast //

While we waited we played some games, watched a movie, and drank- a lot. Why is it taking them so long? We've been waiting three hours to go to breakfast and its not even breakfast anymore! "Do you think they're coming?" I looked over at Dawn, expecting an answer.

"No. I think they're making breakfast." She took a step towards the window.

"I doubt it. But something did smell good..." Just to my surprise. Ash and Iris came out of the windows knocking Dawn over.

"Dawn...are you okay?" Iris took a moment putting the tray she was holding down and helping her up.

"Sont ceux que je pense qu'ils sont? Crêpes!" My face lit up, I love crepes!
"I am pleased with your presentation, my dear Ash. But it took you so long..."

"We did other stuff, too. We knew you'd wait for us, so we just took our time and did anything else we wanted to do." Ash stuffed a crepe in his mouth. "Sorry about Dawn. Is she okay?"

"Yeah. I'm fine. Sont ceux que je pense qu'ils sont? Crêpes!" Dawn said the same thing. We really were a good combo of light and fluffy mixed with creamy and interesting.

"I guess we don't need to go out to breakfast." My mouth was full, the crepes were amazing.

"No, but I kind of need to go to the restroom..." Ash dropped the tray.

"Well then go!" I replied. What else was I suppose to say?

"No...the restroom is clogged." Iris exclaimed. What did they do in the restroom? Oh, then I remembered something. They must've put things in the toilet...this morning when I as taking a shower a bunch of stuff just came out of the drain.

"You can go I'm ours. But I need to go, too." I started walking over to the cabin, with the rest of the gang following behind me.

"Okay. I am finished. Your turn, Cilan." Ash ran out of the restroom.

"And I'm done....Dawn, go next..." And then Dawn went.

"Okay Iris, you're the last. Remember to turn off the light." We walked out of the room and waited in the bedroom.

By the time Iris was finished, we were just walking out. Perfect timing.

"Go Serperior! Solar Beam!" Who might that be? Oh yeah. Ash's rival, Trip. Trip was the stupidest jack-ass I've ever seen. He was so prideful and thought he could do anything. If you add the word "bitch" after everything he says, it'll make perfect sense.

"What the hell are you doing on my property? How did you even find my property?"

"Ha ha ha..." Trip gave out an ominous laugh.

"Bitch." Me and Ash both whispered to each other. We knew that trick.

"Facebook." Trip just replied as his Pokémon demolished Ash and Iris' cabin.

"None of us have a Facebook!" Dawn joined in on the conversation.

"Well, except that dumb-ass of yours." Trip! How stupidly selfish- it was Ash, wasn't it.

"Ash!" All of us screamed at the same time- even Ash did.

"I'm sorry you guys, I really am." Ash seemed as if he was going to cry. He really didn't like Trip.

"Anyways, all of you guys are bitches." Trip laughed evilly.

"No! Ash and Cilan are guys...that doesn't make sense!" Iris just looked at Ash who was crying.

"You're right. Well, well, well. You guys found out my special trick. All of you guys a bitches and sons of bitches." Trip broke out in a laugh once again.

"You know what? He makes a good point!" Ash just pointed at Trip as if he really did make a good point.

"You're not suppose to agree with the enemy, Ash!" Iris cried out.

"You make a good point, too!" Ash pointed at Iris, repeating the process.

"Let me just get back to my work. Seperior! Use Leaf Tornado!" Seperior listened to Trip. Our cabins were almost gone...

"Prepare for trouble!" Dammit.... It was Team Rocket. They're a team that tries to steal Pokémon from people. They've gone after a specific Pokémon, Ash's Pikachu. The people in the team include Jessie, James, and Meowth.

"Make it double!" James exclaimed happily with a rose flying into his mouth. I haven't seen roses for miles around. What the hell? Ad we've all heard this chant many times before everyone knows the next part. Jessie's turn.

"To protect the world from devastation!" They weren't really protecting the world from devastation. They're we're making the world more devastated.

"To unite all peoples within our nation!" James. I didn't like James at all! He was just like...really weird. Anyways, they switch off. Every time Jesse says something, James has to say something- after her.

"To denounce the evils of truth and love!"

"To extend our reach to the stars above!"

"Jessie!"

"James!"

"Team Rocket! Blast off at the speed of light."

Here's where it gets weird. The last part was changed...

"Being here to give you good news!"

"Just be glad with the choice you choose!"

"We have united and made..."

".... Another member of Team Rocket!"

They stopped with their chant. Instead of them trying to capture our Pokémon, Jessie just handed Ash a card.

"What is this?" Ash opened the card. "Wow! I'm invited to a baby shower!" He excitedly jumped in the air. This'll be the first baby shower he's ever been to.

Jessie winked at Ash- or did she wink at me? Who knew...

"Please come! Bring your friends with you!" James still had the rose in his mouth.

"Trust me, I'd be glad to come-" Trip isn't our friend...I don't know how he could even think that. Ash is the dumbest dumb-ass I've ever met, and he wouldn't even say that.

"It's tomorrow. Be there!" James finally took the rose out of his mouth, handing it to Dawn. That bastard! He wouldn't steal Dawn from me...he couldn't! He just had a child.

"Okay. You'll see us tomorrow, then. I guess you too, Trip." Ash said as he turned his head to look at Trip.