I found this on the internet is so funny read and enjoy and if you like it the credit is not for me so have fun!

Guest: “why does the dog sit there and watch me eat?”
Hotel Host: “I can’t imagine, unless it’s because you have the plate he usually eats from.”

A guy phones up his boss , but gets the bosses’ wife instead:
“I am afraid he died last week” she explains.

The next day the man calls again and asks for the boss.

“I told you “the wife replies, “He died last week”

The next day again he calls again and once more asks to speak to his boss, by this time the wife is getting upset and shouts:

“I’ve already told you twice, my husband, your boss, died last week! Why do you keep calling?”

“Coz……”he replied laughing, “I just love hearing it……………………”

Surd “excuse me sir, what time is it?”
Man: its 3:15

Surd (puzzled look on his face) “you know, it’s the weirdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer”.

Teacher: what are the people of Turkey called?
Student: I don’t know

Teacher: they are called Turks, now what are the people of Germany called?

Student: they are called Germs.