I don’t think I need to give a lesson on who Batman is. Everyone and their grandparents know who he is. Batman, the Dark Knight, the Caped Crusader. Having tons of comics, movies and video games. Some being some of the greatest games of all time and others being… the complete opposite. And that’s what we are looking at, the complete opposite. Developed by the Japanese studio, Kemco Software, best known for their work on the Top Gear franchise and their mobile games, they are still around today. Nothing was hurt by this game, DC Comics is still making bank and Batman is still a cherished franchise. So maybe this isn’t…. Too painful?



So we get an opening which… while the models aren’t amazing, it does show off a big cast of Batman’s villains, which as a big fan myself, has me excited. I will say, it is a bit jarring to see Japanese names on the credits for a Batman game. Are we gonna get a Batman action game with S Ranks and air combos and all that? Can Batman achieve a Smoking Sexy Style? No, what you get is...a beat em up that is even worse than Charlie’s Angels. You beat up three goons in an alleyway with the most stiff animation I’ve ever seen. Kick them twice to knock them down. But that’s not enough. You also gotta cuff them so that they don’t get back up. Can’t you just knock them out? After that, you have to travel across rooftops. Good luck figuring out what to do, the game doesn’t tell you shit. I appreciate not shoving tutorials in my face, but now it’s being too cryptic. I mean the animations are cool, but they still feel really stiff and sometimes I feel like I’m about to fall off. It is kinda funny to just watch him dangle there if you lose your momentum. Something about it makes me chuckle. But be careful, because you could easily fall off. Or glitch off the side of the building and fall to your death with no warning. That’s always fun. Even when you clearly jump, you still end up falling to your death. The game demands you use the Bat Cable. But at least the game has checkpoints so it’s not a complete pain in the ass. Just a marginal pain in the ass. But I did notice that Batman doesn’t strafe. He doesn’t quick turn. He turns like a car in GTA… No, he turns like a car in GTA IV. If you want him to turn at a 90 degree angle, you gotta keep his ass from running a full circle. It’s annoying.
So I finally get passed the rooftops and make it to another level. After the ugliest loading screen I’ve ever seen, I am immediately shot at as a crowd of civilians runs passed me. Well, we’re starting off early, huh. And these enemies have guns and love to use them. My health was cut down to half from the first set of enemies. And as I’m running down an alleyway, a car just happens to blow up and almost killed me. So I heal with one of the health packs I got back to full health… and then a gangster shoots me and kills me before I can react… Okay. And then when I restart, something randomly explodes and kills me immediately at the same spot… okay. So I try using a smoke bomb… and I get blown up by a rocket- Why the hell am I still playing this? Also the smoke bombs are fucking useless. They just affect one area and the enemies can still see you. Oh, but I finally found an alternate path. I just had to go passed a wall where a tiny alleyway was hidden and fight goons. Now their guns only do half the damage. Also, Black Mask is looking a bit more like Black Face, if you ask me. And as soon as I start the next level, I get fucking stun locked by a random weak enemy with no way of stopping the attack. Once I finally knock him down, Batman wouldn’t stop turning like a goddamn car until his friend kicks me and I die. Yeah, I’ve seen enough.
So which is worse, people? A game that is constantly rustrating with bad controls and annoying enemies or a boring game that functions… most of the time, but will bore you and leave you desperate for something else? In short, is Batman: Dark Tomorrow worse than Charlie’s Angels? Well, Charlie’s Angels at least left me with ironic stuff to talk about. Batan: Dark Tomorrow left me with a want to turn the game off with boring level design, annoying gameplay mechanics and the worst controlling Batman ever. Have you ever controlled Batman, he’s quite smooth. Don’t play this game. It’s not worth it, even ironically. I say this, knowing everyone’s first choice was always the Arkham games, but better safe than sorry.