dear Alice.
i don't know why i say alice anymore, i think now i write these emails to myself, to secure me that you were real, that you all were , that he was.
There is evidence that you were here. and was my best friend. But sometimes i dont know wheither i was dreaming or not, But i stop that thought to think again, if it was a dream and you diddnt exist,then how did i know your name, or did i make you up, along with every one else. Maybe i'm going crazy, from without you i dont know. But i want to find out. Do you think a crazy person can be the one to digiosed themselves?? Lets hope for my sake that they can.
I know you wont read this, or that fact that you havent even read one. they jsut get sent back to me, unread, failed, jsut like i know this one will to.
But i think this is the only thing that stops me from doing what i shouldn't do. what ever that is.
Charlie would say hi, if he knew anything. I've been so quite that me andcharlie no longer talk.
And jake. Well, he reminds me of you. Your friendship, your beauty, your loveliness. And the easiness to be normal around, someone i diddnt have to try,that i will never experience again.
But jake could never replace you.
school sucks, i think only you and him was my only exucuse to get up and out of bed for school.
i havent spoken to my mum in ages. she calls and calls and abuses dad. but i just cant. she will be too concerned and ask questions that i dont want to answer or just hear.
Well i love you alice. i have to make dinner for charlie, in silence again..
talk to you in the next few days. funny how i say that, when i wont."

love bella