*In case you don't remember, Chaff is one of Haymitch's best friends and was one of the tributes in the 75th Hunger Games*

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Haymitch Abernathy Profile Page

Name: Can't remember.

Age: Have no idea.

Home: Somewhere in North America.

Current location: In a dumpster.

Interested in: Drinking and sleeping.

In a relationship: Keep my options open.

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WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL

Effie Trinket: January 24th 18:09PM

'Keep your options open'? For what? It's not like someone will take a guy who's constantly drunk like you.

Haymitch Abernathy: January 24th 18:11PM

Ah, Effie. Always knows how to make a guy suffer.

Chaff: January 24th 18:12PM

That's what women are best at.

- Haymitch Abernathy, Gale Hawthorne and Cato The Sexy Buffalo Like this.

Effie Trinket: January 24th 18:13PM

How can you even write on the computer, Chaff? You only have one arm.

Chaff: January 24th 18:16PM

One letter at a time, babe. One letter at a time.

Katniss Everdeen: January 24th 18:17PM

I bet you were drunk while writing your profile, Haymitch.

Haymitch Abernathy: January 24th 18:19PM

You know me so well.

Effie Trinket: January 24th 18:20PM

Oh please, I bet he's drunk right now.

Haymitch Abernathy: January 24th 18:24PM

*Giggle* *Hiccup* Banana!

Effie Trinket: January 24th 18:25PM

Told you.

Cato The Sexy Buffalo: January 24th 18:26PM

What are you doing in a dumpster?

Haymitch Abernathy: January 24th 18:26PM

I'm baking a cake.

Cato The Sexy Buffalo: January 24th 18:26PM

?

Haymitch Abernathy: January 24th 18:27PM

Yeah, this sentence doesn't have the same effect without the sarcastic tone.

Gale Hawthorne: January 24th 18:28PM

But there aren't any dumpsters in District Twelve.

Haymitch Abernathy: January 24th 18:29PM

So how come I'm lying in a place filled with garbage?

Katniss Everdeen: January 24th 18:30PM

Ahh, Haymitch? That's your garden.

Haymitch Abernathy: January 24th 18:33PM

*looks around* Oh. Right. Hey, I can see you staring at me through your window! *Waving enthusiastically*

Katniss Everdeen: January 24th 18:34PM

Yeah… That's Peeta.

- Gale Hawthorne, Cato The Sexy Buffalo, Chaff and Effie Trinket Like this.

Haymitch Abernathy: January 24th 18:35PM

Oh. He really needs to cut his hair. It's starting to get confusing.

- Gale Hawthorne and Cato The Sexy Buffalo Like this.

Effie Trinket: January 24th 18:37PM

You should really stop drinking.

Haymitch Abernathy: January 24th 18:39PM

And you should really stop wearing those hideous clothes of yours. You look like a circus freak on drugs.

- Katniss Everdeen, Gale Hawthorne, Chaff and Cato The Sexy Buffalo Like this.

Effie Trinket: January 24th 18:40PM

See how bad he treats me! I don't understand why people think it's a good idea to pair us up in fanfiction.

Chaff: January 24th 18:41PM

At least people write about you! I don't even think people know who I am! *sob sob*

Effie Trinket: January 24th 18:42PM

There there.

Haymitch Abernathy: January 24th 18:44PM

Why is this monkey walking towards me?

Katniss Everdeen: January 24th 18:45PM

That's Greasy Sae.

Haymitch Abernathy: January 24th 18:47PM

Oh. She really needs to shave.

Cato The Sexy Buffalo: January 24th 18:48PM

You know, now I'm curious. I want to know what Greasy Sae looks like!

Gale Hawthorne: January 24th 18:48PM

No, you don't. Believe me.

Katniss Everdeen: January 24th 18:49PM

Gale! That's really not nice of you!

Gale Hawthorne: January 24th 18:50PM

I'm just bad like that. *wink wink*

Katniss Everdeen: January 24th 18:52PM

*blink blink*

Haymitch Abernathy: January 24th 18:55PM

... ejfoajf … afhoaifa … laihfah … HARRY POTTER! … jwopaod ...