Looking around the dark, inviting room, thinking of life. It’s funny how you get thrown into things. The room you are in, for whatever reason. The things around you. You must’ve came to like them in some way, how though? Did it capture interest? Is it something a friend has gave you?
How did I get to this point? Feeling fiction from reading or writing is life, instead of my own. Wanting to be cast as characters in stories, but not my own life. Anxiety grows to be more like fictitious characters. I don’t understand my own life these days. All jumbled up, and disconnecting.
Anxiety like panic attacks hit me randomly. Especially when thinking of fiction. Heart races, nausea, dizzy spells, sometimes hallucinations, mainly when up a three a.m.
Closed-off, grumpy, thoughtful, manipulative, private, shy, ignorance despising, hypocritical just a few words to describe me. Everyone can be hypocritical. We are all so cruel in our own way.
No one can comfort me, nor do I feel anyone will listen. The ones who would, I’m terrified to talk to. I’ve driven myself to the point I feel like love isn’t real, and I’m silenced, and broken. I’m a fake, supportive, third wheel. I’m a sad head case that’s why I refuse to unload on anyone. I seem pathetic, even to myself.
I want to sob, yet I can’t seem to find tears anymore. They’ve evaporated. A few people make my heart crack when my eyes fall upon them. More tears gone. My hate toward love grows.
A close friend, she jumps on me for treating guys as if they’re disposable. I know she is right. Why do I? No one holds interest, commitment problems, scared, annoyance, I don’t know! I don’t know if I believe in love, or not. I want to, but its risky.
What is love? An orgasm with a lover? An I love you from your mother? A pat on the back from your best friend forever? A peck on the cheek from the boy next door, or the last kiss on the lips from an older couple saying goodbye? But there is no goodbye. For, we love even in death. There is no till death do we part.
Life will neve ber fully comprehendible. Never an answer to the why. Live, and don’t wait to die! Push it back, for it will cause worry, and anxiety. Live with happiness, not fear, and think about this for you’ve never thought of it before. Though, its has been said more, and more.
You only live once. You have a good forty years at the least. Four decades if your lucky. If your really lucky, longer. Then, your gone, no house, no friends, no air, no body, nothing, but your soul, and the afterlife. This is it, so make it count.
No. I refuse to let myself be roped back into this…must...break…free…before...all….hell…breaks loose……….
Black…It’s all black…
How did I get to this point? Feeling fiction from reading or writing is life, instead of my own. Wanting to be cast as characters in stories, but not my own life. Anxiety grows to be more like fictitious characters. I don’t understand my own life these days. All jumbled up, and disconnecting.
Anxiety like panic attacks hit me randomly. Especially when thinking of fiction. Heart races, nausea, dizzy spells, sometimes hallucinations, mainly when up a three a.m.
Closed-off, grumpy, thoughtful, manipulative, private, shy, ignorance despising, hypocritical just a few words to describe me. Everyone can be hypocritical. We are all so cruel in our own way.
No one can comfort me, nor do I feel anyone will listen. The ones who would, I’m terrified to talk to. I’ve driven myself to the point I feel like love isn’t real, and I’m silenced, and broken. I’m a fake, supportive, third wheel. I’m a sad head case that’s why I refuse to unload on anyone. I seem pathetic, even to myself.
I want to sob, yet I can’t seem to find tears anymore. They’ve evaporated. A few people make my heart crack when my eyes fall upon them. More tears gone. My hate toward love grows.
A close friend, she jumps on me for treating guys as if they’re disposable. I know she is right. Why do I? No one holds interest, commitment problems, scared, annoyance, I don’t know! I don’t know if I believe in love, or not. I want to, but its risky.
What is love? An orgasm with a lover? An I love you from your mother? A pat on the back from your best friend forever? A peck on the cheek from the boy next door, or the last kiss on the lips from an older couple saying goodbye? But there is no goodbye. For, we love even in death. There is no till death do we part.
Life will neve ber fully comprehendible. Never an answer to the why. Live, and don’t wait to die! Push it back, for it will cause worry, and anxiety. Live with happiness, not fear, and think about this for you’ve never thought of it before. Though, its has been said more, and more.
You only live once. You have a good forty years at the least. Four decades if your lucky. If your really lucky, longer. Then, your gone, no house, no friends, no air, no body, nothing, but your soul, and the afterlife. This is it, so make it count.
No. I refuse to let myself be roped back into this…must...break…free…before...all….hell…breaks loose……….
Black…It’s all black…
I need you
from the first moment i saw you
I need you
because you're the air i breathe
I need you
because you're the water i drink
I need you
because just the thought of seeing you makes me want to get out of bed
I need you
because you can with just one smile make my whole world starts to turning again
I need you
because you make me wake up from my the most horrible nightmare without fear
I need you
because you can give me hope when i don't have one
I need you
because even if I'm at the bottom,you're always there to help me stand up
I need you
because in this cruel world you keep me alive
I need you
because i know that you'll never give up from me
I need you
because when no one believed in me you were there to stand up for me
I need you
because you're everything for me
But the most important thing why i need you is
because I'll always love you!
This was in my head so i just thought to write it
from the first moment i saw you
I need you
because you're the air i breathe
I need you
because you're the water i drink
I need you
because just the thought of seeing you makes me want to get out of bed
I need you
because you can with just one smile make my whole world starts to turning again
I need you
because you make me wake up from my the most horrible nightmare without fear
I need you
because you can give me hope when i don't have one
I need you
because even if I'm at the bottom,you're always there to help me stand up
I need you
because in this cruel world you keep me alive
I need you
because i know that you'll never give up from me
I need you
because when no one believed in me you were there to stand up for me
I need you
because you're everything for me
But the most important thing why i need you is
because I'll always love you!
This was in my head so i just thought to write it
priceless and important,
gives you the roads
and leaves you choices
of which your luck depends on.
This is your life
and you live it
wrapped by sadness
or happiness.
Who cares?
This is your life,
invisible for others.
You pick the road
and pray that the choice
is right,
but life loves you not,
that's you who love
the joy of life.
Life,
priceless and important,
gives you choices,
unpredictable events,
grays and hope,
and life is all yours.
But, the question is
will you remain sane
even though your life
is cruel to your dreams,
will you remain sane
even when your life
is dying in your eyes.
Vandals and crooks
an aging man, caught like a fish on a hook
Getting reeled in, he's easy prey
Eyes sag, creating bags, pupils widen, creating paralysis
Confusion and fear
An ailing man, with fish hooks everywhere
The biggest catch today
Pavement runs red, creating pain, flesh torn, creating animals
Torment and Horror
An aching man, aches no more
The fish hook rips away
Smiles widen, creating youth, blood drips, creating paralysis
_________________________________________________
_________________________________________________
_________________________________________________
an aging man, caught like a fish on a hook
Getting reeled in, he's easy prey
Eyes sag, creating bags, pupils widen, creating paralysis
Confusion and fear
An ailing man, with fish hooks everywhere
The biggest catch today
Pavement runs red, creating pain, flesh torn, creating animals
Torment and Horror
An aching man, aches no more
The fish hook rips away
Smiles widen, creating youth, blood drips, creating paralysis
_________________________________________________
_________________________________________________
_________________________________________________