“ the new beginning ”
As days passed it got worse. I couldn't take it anymore, we were growing apart, barely even talking.
Anything I talked about doing, Edward would disagree or say its not safe.
Once, I was going to the toilet and Edward asked Alice to go with me!. To the toilet!
That led to a day of me ignoring him. That taught him a lesson to shut his mouth and stop making decision for me…..well for about 24 hours. Then it starts again.
“Bells….your getting so boring! Talk a little…oh! I have a better idea lets play” Emmett grinned.
“Emmett, cant you see Bella Is tired? She has to rest” Edward said and put a hand on my shoulder.
“But Edward, all your making Bella do is rest and home work!” Emmett argued with him.
I removed Edwards hand from my shoulder and got us before walking to the door.
“Where are you going?” Edward asked.
“I’m going somewhere where I can make my own decisions. Not have someone making them for me!”
“Bella. I don’t think…”
“I’M NOT A DAMN PUPPET EDWARD!” I screamed at him.
Everyone appeared next to Emmett, who was looking at me with pride.
“You cant just go! Victoria could be out there waiting for you” Edward said angrily.
“Well….news flash Edward. I DON'T CARE ANYMORE! I’d rather live a short happy life than a long crappy, hiding in the shadows one!"
“Bell….”Edward started to talk but I cut him off.
“Just shut up Edward! I'm talking. You are hiding me from everything! From the volturi and that stupid Victoria. Even from my friends”
“But its for your own protection”
“I don't need protection. Did I have a say in this? NO! I didn't. What a shock! You are living my life for me, Edward! I don't even have a say in what I eat! Your always saying that's not enough you need more protein, more this more that…blah, blah, blah!
He was looking at me shocked.
“What Edward?” I asked. He cant honestly say he didn’t know he was like this.
“Bella I’m sorry…I just...i just want you to be healthy…if you want you can eat anything you want… its no probl…”
“EDWARD!” I screamed.
He still looked confused.
“My health isn't fucking important to me!...you know what? I'm leaving. Cause your not going to change me and if I stay here I’m always going to run from my problems…that’s not gonna happen! I want my short human life to be spent in peace and for me to make my own decisions!...I’m tired of this Edward”
“Bella…look…if you want…”He reached to take my hand but I just took a step back. That hurt him. I could tell by his face.
“I don't want anything from you ever again Edward” I told him.
“Bella lets sit and talk about this” Alice looked at me with pleading eyes “we can figure this out..”
“Maybe later Alice…I want to go home. To my own house.
So… what did you think?
I know in this chapter I was a little harsh with Eddie but….HE DESERVED IT! Wouldn't ya be if the one you loved acted like this?
Heheheheh!:)))
Next chap is going to be better… maybe a little B/E but it will soon change!
Sooo….GUESS WHAT? *~~~~ Review~~~~*
As days passed it got worse. I couldn't take it anymore, we were growing apart, barely even talking.
Anything I talked about doing, Edward would disagree or say its not safe.
Once, I was going to the toilet and Edward asked Alice to go with me!. To the toilet!
That led to a day of me ignoring him. That taught him a lesson to shut his mouth and stop making decision for me…..well for about 24 hours. Then it starts again.
“Bells….your getting so boring! Talk a little…oh! I have a better idea lets play” Emmett grinned.
“Emmett, cant you see Bella Is tired? She has to rest” Edward said and put a hand on my shoulder.
“But Edward, all your making Bella do is rest and home work!” Emmett argued with him.
I removed Edwards hand from my shoulder and got us before walking to the door.
“Where are you going?” Edward asked.
“I’m going somewhere where I can make my own decisions. Not have someone making them for me!”
“Bella. I don’t think…”
“I’M NOT A DAMN PUPPET EDWARD!” I screamed at him.
Everyone appeared next to Emmett, who was looking at me with pride.
“You cant just go! Victoria could be out there waiting for you” Edward said angrily.
“Well….news flash Edward. I DON'T CARE ANYMORE! I’d rather live a short happy life than a long crappy, hiding in the shadows one!"
“Bell….”Edward started to talk but I cut him off.
“Just shut up Edward! I'm talking. You are hiding me from everything! From the volturi and that stupid Victoria. Even from my friends”
“But its for your own protection”
“I don't need protection. Did I have a say in this? NO! I didn't. What a shock! You are living my life for me, Edward! I don't even have a say in what I eat! Your always saying that's not enough you need more protein, more this more that…blah, blah, blah!
He was looking at me shocked.
“What Edward?” I asked. He cant honestly say he didn’t know he was like this.
“Bella I’m sorry…I just...i just want you to be healthy…if you want you can eat anything you want… its no probl…”
“EDWARD!” I screamed.
He still looked confused.
“My health isn't fucking important to me!...you know what? I'm leaving. Cause your not going to change me and if I stay here I’m always going to run from my problems…that’s not gonna happen! I want my short human life to be spent in peace and for me to make my own decisions!...I’m tired of this Edward”
“Bella…look…if you want…”He reached to take my hand but I just took a step back. That hurt him. I could tell by his face.
“I don't want anything from you ever again Edward” I told him.
“Bella lets sit and talk about this” Alice looked at me with pleading eyes “we can figure this out..”
“Maybe later Alice…I want to go home. To my own house.
So… what did you think?
I know in this chapter I was a little harsh with Eddie but….HE DESERVED IT! Wouldn't ya be if the one you loved acted like this?
Heheheheh!:)))
Next chap is going to be better… maybe a little B/E but it will soon change!
Sooo….GUESS WHAT? *~~~~ Review~~~~*
Hey, so this is a poem Ive been thinking of for a long time,please read and comment!
The Spirit
The spirit rushes on,
Swifter than the wind,
To find answers,
To seek the way.
The spirit flows on,
Like the river.
Flowing on to find the ocean,
A home for all its dreams.
The spirit shines on,
Brighter than a thousand suns.
Shining on to clear the darkness,
To find the path.
The spirit lives on,
More eternal than the sea,
Living on to find its home,
Where all the ends shall meet.
The Spirit
The spirit rushes on,
Swifter than the wind,
To find answers,
To seek the way.
The spirit flows on,
Like the river.
Flowing on to find the ocean,
A home for all its dreams.
The spirit shines on,
Brighter than a thousand suns.
Shining on to clear the darkness,
To find the path.
The spirit lives on,
More eternal than the sea,
Living on to find its home,
Where all the ends shall meet.
"It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right."
I can still remember the disappointment in those hazel eyes the moment I told him I was leaving. I couldn't stay - I had no choice. I still can't decide whether it hurt more to leave him, or to know I had been the one who caused the pain. What was I supposed to do? This child needed guidance and protection now more than ever, and I couldn't help him. For so long I had been the one to console him - make him feel safe - and it was coming to an end. It was... the rule.
"I need to go away, Alex. It's what imaginary friends do....
Forever
Forever you are mine
Forever I’ll be here
Forever is what you promised
Your heart is worth nothing
But the your soul is priceless
Forever can be a long time
Forever can be a long time cut short
It’s worth the suffering
It’s worth the sacrifice
To forever be yours
Forever protected by your eagle like wings
Forever loved by your ocean wide heart
Forever safe in your warm embrace
Forever is worth the wait
To be sliced thin
To stuffed thick
Forever is Forever
Forever is Eternity
Forever is a risk
Forever is a chance
Forever is worth the wait
Forever you are mine
Forever I’ll be here
Forever is what you promised
Your heart is worth nothing
But the your soul is priceless
Forever can be a long time
Forever can be a long time cut short
It’s worth the suffering
It’s worth the sacrifice
To forever be yours
Forever protected by your eagle like wings
Forever loved by your ocean wide heart
Forever safe in your warm embrace
Forever is worth the wait
To be sliced thin
To stuffed thick
Forever is Forever
Forever is Eternity
Forever is a risk
Forever is a chance
Forever is worth the wait
preface
if the one person you told the truth to all the time was now the one person you have to keep it away from, would you?
would you be able to lie through your teeth and pray that he believes you? what if he was the one person you told everything to, he was the one who keeps you from falling apart, but if you told him anything he might be the one to bring you tummbling down.
if you had to chose between lieing to him, hurting him, and keeping him away from you, what would you chose? because if you dont chose right, he may very well die.
if the one person you told the truth to all the time was now the one person you have to keep it away from, would you?
would you be able to lie through your teeth and pray that he believes you? what if he was the one person you told everything to, he was the one who keeps you from falling apart, but if you told him anything he might be the one to bring you tummbling down.
if you had to chose between lieing to him, hurting him, and keeping him away from you, what would you chose? because if you dont chose right, he may very well die.
That day I thought I was a failure. I was sitting outside our house on a bench in my white dress, just staring at the dark sky while raindrops were running down my cheeks. It could have been tears as well, all I knew was that it was raining pretty hard.
As she noticed I was outside, she opened the door and told me to come inside, where it was warm. Her soft voice told me she was going to make some tea for me and that everything would be okay.
I didn't even look at her when I got up and started to run.
The grass felt wet and cold under my bare feet as I was running towards the nearby forest,...
continue reading...
As she noticed I was outside, she opened the door and told me to come inside, where it was warm. Her soft voice told me she was going to make some tea for me and that everything would be okay.
I didn't even look at her when I got up and started to run.
The grass felt wet and cold under my bare feet as I was running towards the nearby forest,...
I am bored with love
and it's passionless limbs
that drape over my bed
in a lethargic state of impotence
while wearing the same red heart
my soul picked up hitchhiking
off highway serendipity
Now here we are
alone in togetherness
trying to build dreams
with two by fours and glue,
but even a home
won't tie us together
when our hearts live alone
Poetic vows cliched
into nothingness
like all words do, eventually
and we allowed our bodies to become another pair of hollow shadows that make love to a wall
instead of each other
and we wonder why
the roses are dying
and it's passionless limbs
that drape over my bed
in a lethargic state of impotence
while wearing the same red heart
my soul picked up hitchhiking
off highway serendipity
Now here we are
alone in togetherness
trying to build dreams
with two by fours and glue,
but even a home
won't tie us together
when our hearts live alone
Poetic vows cliched
into nothingness
like all words do, eventually
and we allowed our bodies to become another pair of hollow shadows that make love to a wall
instead of each other
and we wonder why
the roses are dying
love bites
A year ago in my calculation,
A year ago, there were situations.
The same song played now and then,
In my memory, it had begun.
Tears from my eyes were shed this morning,
It was the most tears I was shedding.
My world isn’t complete without you,
My world and I don’t know what to do.
Love isn’t a toy and never was.
Love is what you cherish and keep as treasure.
My mind is at many topics at random,
It goes normal when you’re in my kingdom.
What ends my bad situations with people
Is my focus on you, my angel.
You’ll always be a part of me,
You’ll always be in my memory.
A year ago, there were situations.
The same song played now and then,
In my memory, it had begun.
Tears from my eyes were shed this morning,
It was the most tears I was shedding.
My world isn’t complete without you,
My world and I don’t know what to do.
Love isn’t a toy and never was.
Love is what you cherish and keep as treasure.
My mind is at many topics at random,
It goes normal when you’re in my kingdom.
What ends my bad situations with people
Is my focus on you, my angel.
You’ll always be a part of me,
You’ll always be in my memory.
