I sit up straight in the middle of the night; my forehead is stained with cold sweat, my breathing is heavy. Pure darkness is all around me. Just another dream I mentally convince myself, but I’m still shaking. I can’t calm down, no matter what, the dream felt so…real. Trembling, I get out of bed and go into the bathroom. Looking at me in the mirror was painful. It looks like I just got in a fight with a rabid cat. My black hair frizzed everywhere, mascara and eyeliner smeared around my eyes, tear streaks on my face. God I could use some exercise I thought as I examined my body shape. I glance over at the clock in my small bathroom. 3:30 am. Perfect, a reckless night, no sleep on a Sunday night just before school, that’s just what I need.
Lately, I have been having nightmares about strange things, things I can’t even remember when I wake up. All I know s I was terrified, in a way I couldn’t understand in a place I didn’t understand, and in a situation I wouldn’t understand. Everything was surreal, but I can never remember the details, which frightens me about them even more. Do you know how scary it is to not even remember what you were scared of?
I go back to bed, yet I am frightened to sleep. I just stare into the darkness, hoping to fall asleep to great dreams, but I know that won’t happen. I haven’t had a good dream since I was seven. It’s almost like a curse or a spell I can’t seem to break. All of a sudden I’m in a different place at a different time. Back to dreaming I sadly think as I wait for the nightmare to begin. But nothing happens. Looking around, I am basically on a floating piece of green grass and dirt. There are several different sections of them floating around. “Amanda! You’re back!” A tall, tear streaked woman shouted. She was wearing a black cotton dress that was torn and tattered; no shoes were on her feet. She ran up and hugged me into her blonde curly hair. “Do I know you?” I slowly ask. The woman looked sad. “This again,” She muttered turning away. “She has been suffering from memory loss. “ The she looked back at me, “Of Corse you do! I am your mother!” What the hell is going on? “Um, lady this is just a dream!” I shout at her. She looked confused, then said “Honey, look, there’s no such thing as a “dream”.
Lately, I have been having nightmares about strange things, things I can’t even remember when I wake up. All I know s I was terrified, in a way I couldn’t understand in a place I didn’t understand, and in a situation I wouldn’t understand. Everything was surreal, but I can never remember the details, which frightens me about them even more. Do you know how scary it is to not even remember what you were scared of?
I go back to bed, yet I am frightened to sleep. I just stare into the darkness, hoping to fall asleep to great dreams, but I know that won’t happen. I haven’t had a good dream since I was seven. It’s almost like a curse or a spell I can’t seem to break. All of a sudden I’m in a different place at a different time. Back to dreaming I sadly think as I wait for the nightmare to begin. But nothing happens. Looking around, I am basically on a floating piece of green grass and dirt. There are several different sections of them floating around. “Amanda! You’re back!” A tall, tear streaked woman shouted. She was wearing a black cotton dress that was torn and tattered; no shoes were on her feet. She ran up and hugged me into her blonde curly hair. “Do I know you?” I slowly ask. The woman looked sad. “This again,” She muttered turning away. “She has been suffering from memory loss. “ The she looked back at me, “Of Corse you do! I am your mother!” What the hell is going on? “Um, lady this is just a dream!” I shout at her. She looked confused, then said “Honey, look, there’s no such thing as a “dream”.
Hey Mom,
It's been a while
Since you sat next to me,
Since I saw you smile
I miss you Mom
I wish you were here
Giving me kisses
Holding me near
I can still see you Mom,
the laughing happy you
Not the ill broken women
Who broke my heart in two
I'll always remember Mom,
You taught me well
To do good things,
And with Honesty tell
I'm telling you Mom
Losing you killed me
Laying a rose on your casket
Trying hard to be
Strong.
That's what you were Mom,
Strong.
In everything you said
In everything you did
So now I'll be just that
Strong like a mother, not like a kid
I wrote this in honor of any child who has ever lost a parent.
It's been a while
Since you sat next to me,
Since I saw you smile
I miss you Mom
I wish you were here
Giving me kisses
Holding me near
I can still see you Mom,
the laughing happy you
Not the ill broken women
Who broke my heart in two
I'll always remember Mom,
You taught me well
To do good things,
And with Honesty tell
I'm telling you Mom
Losing you killed me
Laying a rose on your casket
Trying hard to be
Strong.
That's what you were Mom,
Strong.
In everything you said
In everything you did
So now I'll be just that
Strong like a mother, not like a kid
I wrote this in honor of any child who has ever lost a parent.