Song: link

Hawkeye: *Taps the back of Gordon's head*
Gordon: *Very angry* GET BACK HERE!!!!! *Runs after Hawkeye*
Master Sword: And I thought I had anger issues.
Tom: *Taps the back of Master Sword's head*
Master Sword: *Catches on fire* RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Captain Jefferson: We have too many criminals.
Percy: No, we have too many ponies. Percy The Green Engine here everyone, and this week, I'll be your host for Sean's Spectacular Saturday of Stories. Our line up for this week is......

Ponies On The Rails - Rated TVMA
On The Block - Rated TV14
My Little Pornstar - Rated TVMA
Adventures of Thomas & Friends - Rated TVY7

Percy: We not only have too many ponies, but we also have too many shows featuring ponies. Try to enjoy the show folks.

Theme song >>>> link

Seanthehedgehog presents

The Season 1 Finale of...

Ponies On The Rails

Starring

Peirce Hawkins "Hawkeye" From Seanthehedgehog

Red Rose From Chibiemmy

Honey Bee From NaomiWinx

Coffee Creme From KarinaBrony

Snowflake & Orion From Alinah09

Gordon, Percy, Jeff, Bartholomew, and Pete from Seanthehedgehog

Episode 10

Back From The Future

June 8, 1951

The sun was setting, and the wind was blowing cool air around the station at Cheyenne. Everypony was getting toward the end of their shift.

Gordon: *putting oil into engine*
Pete: Gordon, come here.
Gordon: (FUCK!! What did I do wrong this time?) *walks to Pete* Yes?
Pete: I noticed the work you've been doing.
Gordon: *sweats* Yes?
Pete: And I must say....
Gordon: Yes??








Pete: That you've done a very great job. As a reward, you get two days off.
Gordon: Oh thank you sir!
Pete: You're very welcome. Now go home.
Gordon: *leaves*

When Gordon got home, he was looking at a book while eating pizza.

Gordon: *reading book* After getting rid of your hunger, the spell should work. *finishes slice of pizza* Ok, let's do this. *stands up*

Soon, some light came from his horn, and after a quick flash, everything changed

Gordon: Alright. *checks money* I got everything, good.
Mare: What are you doing in my house?
Gordon: Oh this is my house. You see, I'm a unicorn, and I used a time traveling spell.
Mare: Where did you come from?
Gordon: 1951.

Gordon left the mare's house, and examined the streets of Cheyenne.

Gordon: 2013 doesn't look different, except for the fact that every car is ugly.
Teenage pony: *passes by in Cobra*
Gordon: Ugly, and loud. *walking*
Colt: Hey, look over there *points at Gordon*
Gordon: What does he want?
Colt: *walks to Gordon* Hey, how many pounds do you have?
Colt friends: *laugh*
Gordon: Hey, how many mares did you fuck in bed? Get a life losers. *walks away*
Colts: *cry*
Gordon: *looks at store* What's a Verizon? *enters*
Desk Clerk: Good morning. Can I help you with something?
Gordon: Yes, I'd like a Verizon. *looks at cellphones* What are all these?
Desk Clerk: Cell phones. Would you like one?
Gordon: Yes. *checks money* I have $200. What can you give me?
Desk Clerk: Well, we got some smartphones over there.
Gordon: I'd like one of those please.
Desk Clerk: *grabs smartphone* This is our latest, and greatest model. It costs $100.
Gordon: Here *pays for smartphone*
Desk Clerk: Thank you, *gives Gordon charger* You'll need this for when your battery dies.
Gordon: Ok, thanks. *takes charger*

After leaving the Verizon phone shop

Gordon: *looks at homepage* What? *activates google chrome* Sweet. This is awesome. Now, if only I could find how to get to the greatest country in Earth. *searches Germany*
Teenage colts: *look over screen* You plan on going to Germany?
Gordon: Yeah.
Teenage Colts: It sucks. The only good place to go that isn't in Equestria is Mexico.
Gordon: And what? Have some commies from Cuba murder you?
Teenage Colts: Dude, communism is only in Russia. Look it up.
Gordon: That's what I was doing douchebag. *walks away*

Gordon was bored, so he decided to check out what the Union Pacific looked like.

Gordon: I'll bet every single steam engine is dead. *runs to station*

After three minutes of running

Gordon: *panting* Ugh, how much longer do I have to go? *looks back* (All I did was run across the street?!?!?)
Train driver: *blows horn*
Gordon: Oh damn, the tracks are right by the road. *walks to fence* Really? Why did they put these up?
Security Guard: HEY!! What are you doing by that fence?
Gordon: Watching the trains?
Security Guard: Ok. You're not allowed to pass this fence at anytime.
Gordon: Alright. May I ask why this fence was put up?
Security Guard: To prevent intruders from sneaking in, and vandalising those freight cars.
Gordon: *spots graffiti* You mean that purple, and green stuff on the box car? What railroad is it for anyway?
Security Guard: Norfoalk Southern.
Gordon: Norfoalk Southern? Don't you mean Norfoalk & Western?
Security Guard: Nope. The Norfoalk & Western merged with another railroad in 1982.
Gordon: (That's 31 years from where I am now.) Wow. Yeah... I'm not much of an expert on railroading like you. *walks away*

After that, Gordon was thinking on how to get inside

Gordon: *stops* What the fuck am I thinking?! I've got teleportation spells! *teleports into train yard* Now, to see what this yard looks like.
Working ponies: *remove door from diesel*
Boss: Excellent. Now just put a new coat of paint on there, and our Heritage units will be as good as new.
Gordon: Heritage units? *walks to diesel* This thing is a wreck. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?!!?
Workers: *walk out* That engine is used for spare parts on our diesels.
Gordon: WHAT?! Can't you buy more parts?! Ok, this year is fucked up, except for the creation of the smartphone, that's cool.
Black worker: Dude, what's up with this nigga?
Gordon: (Nigga? Sounds cool, I gotta try that.) Bye *time travels*

June 10, 1951

Pete: Ah, Gordon you're back. Just in time too. You'll have a freight to take to Pocatello Idaho in 20 minutes.
Gordon: Thank you sir. *walks to bench*
Bartholomew: *waiting on platforrn*
Gordon: *Looking at map of Equestria* Hey, Bart! Do you know how long it would take to get to Germany from my place if I was driving?
Bartholomew: Perhaps you should try looking at an actual world map instead of that pathetic nonsense!
Gordon: Who asked you?! *grabs smartphone* Fine, if you're gonna be like that, I'll just ask the smartphone, and it'll tell me how to get from here to Germany, and how long it will take!
Bartholomew: WE CAN'T USE SMARTPHONES IN 1951!!! Have you lost your mind?!
Gordon: *searching* Watch how it's done asshole! Going from Equestria to Germany. Yo, I do what I want nigga! *gasps*
Bartholomew: *looks*
Gordon: Swim across the atlantic ocean! Seriously?
Bartholomew: Oh my. Better get started, that sure is a bloody long swim.
Hawkeye: *brings passenger train to station*
Bartholomew: Well, my train is here. I must leave you in your shock of amazement. *enters passenger train*
Percy: *sees Gordon* Uhm, what's that? *points at smartphone*
Gordon: A failed attempt to travel *falls asleep*

The End

Song (Start at 0:29): link

Percy: One season down, eleven to go. Did you know, 120 episodes were made? Ten of those episodes make up one season. Up next, On The Block.

Welcome to the block, where a group of ponies that are friends live on the same block in Ponyville. And now for your hosts, Master Sword, and Tom Foolery.

Audience: *Cheering*
Master Sword & Tom: *Standing in front of a house*
Master Sword: Today is a really bad day for the fandom.
Audience: *Gasp*
Tom: What happened Master Sword?
Master Sword: It's Warner Brothers.
Tom: *Angry* Not again!
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: To show you what we're talking about, let me show you four pictures. *Gets a slideshow started* Okay, so there was going to be a video with a special intro showing the mane six with Spike, and Princess Celestia. However, Warner Brothers decided to take over, and put their logo in it.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: Oh, I see.
Master Sword: Want to get Equestria Girls: Rainbow Rocks on Blu Ray? What's that? Warner Brother's changed the movie? In what way? Oh, I see. They put their logo on the front cover, blocking the title, and Rainbow Dash, Twilight Sparkle, and Pinkie Pie.
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: Meanwhile, in the pony world, Twilight, and her friends decided to celebrate Christmas, but the brothers of Warner didn't seem to like that idea.
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: Remember Brony Con, 2011? Warner Brothers hated it. Look what they did!
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: We'd show you more, but if we do, Warner Brothers will get more assassins to try, and kill us.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: Now, our crossover parody for today is SHiPs.
Master Sword: This is a crossover between CHiPs, and Star Wars.
Tom: Which makes perfect sense if you think about it, because both CHiPs, and Star Wars started in 1977.
Audience: *Clapping*

SHiPs: Also known as Space Highway Patrol

Starring

Tom Foolery as Jon Baker
Saten Twist as Frank Poncharello
Master Sword as Sargent Getraer
Aina as Princess Leia
Double Scoop as Luke Skywalker
Mortomis as Hahn Solo
Blaze as Darth Vader
Stormtrooper Ponies as theirselves

One day at SHiPs headquarters.

Sargent Ketrare: I wanted you two to stay later, for a very important mission. Princess Leia is going through here, and Darth Vader is trying to attack her. She has two bodyguards, but I want you to help them prevent Vader from attacking the Princess.
Frank: *Yawning* Wake me up when you give us a real mission.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sargent Ketrare: This is real, and very important. You're going up against a real villian here. So, your motorcycles have been modified.
Jon: Oh yeah, that's something I wanted to ask you. How are we supposed to ride motorcycles in space?

Jon, and his partner Frank were wearing space suits while riding their motorcycles through space.

Audience: *Laughing*
Frank: I see some ships.
Hahn Solo: *Flying the Millenium Falcon*
Luke: Be careful. R2-D2, and C3P0 are in there.
Hahn Solo: So is Chewbacca, but you don't here me complaining.
Audience: *Laughing*
Darth Vader: Send out some fighters.
Storm Trooper: But sir- *Gets choked by Darth Vader*
Darth Vader: I told you to send out TIE Fighters, immediately.
Storm Trooper: We don't have any. *Dies*
Darth Vader: Oh, I remember now. They all went in to get overhauls.
Audience: *Laughing*
Frank: That's a really big ship.
Jon: Yeah Ponch. I don't think we can stop it.
Darth Vader: *Shoots Millenium Falcon*
Jon: Oh well. Let's go back.

They turned around. C3P0, R2-D2, and Chewbacca became prisoners to The Emperor, and his Empire.

The End

On the next part of this episode, Warner Brothers strikes again.

Theme Song: link

Master Sword: Come on Tom, let's go meet the others.
Tom: Right behind you.
Double Scoop: *Standing on street corner*
Aina: *Runs out of her house*
Sunny: Hey, wait for me. *Flying in the middle of the street*
Saten Twist: *Polishing his chain saw, but stops to go meet the others*
Pleiades: *Arrives at corner*
Mortomis: *Standing next to Double Scoop*
Tom: More ponies!!
Snow Wonder: *Arrives in a brand new Corvette*
Cosmic Rainbow: *Flies from the clouds*
Heartsong: *Climbs out of a manhole*
Annie: *Arrives on a bicycle*
Blaze: *Flies out of a house window, and lands next to Tom*
Sophie Shimmer: *Gets off of a slow moving bus*
Astrel Sky: *Appears out of nowhere with magic*
All: We live together on the block!
Audience: *Clapping*
Announcer: Okay, stop the song! We need to keep this thing rolling.
Audience: *Laughing*

Episode 6: This Is A Warner Brothers Production

Announcer: On the block was not filmed in front of a live audience.
Audience: *Laughing*
Announcer: *Getting very angry* What the hell?!?
Tom: *Walking down a street*
Annie: Hi Tom.
Tom: Hello Annie. What's up?
Annie: *Looks up at sky* I don't know. I can't see anything.
Audience: *Laughing*

A bullet hits the sidewalk between them

Tom: Whoever shot that gun, wait until we get to The Story Of Corporal Agarn.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: *Sees a bullet hit the sidewalk behind him* Whoa.
Annie: *Looks at a building, and grabs a telescope. She looks at the building through it* I see somepony wearing a Warner Brother's hat.
Tom: Well, that explains it!
Audience: *Laughing*
Annie: Explains what?
Tom: That's an assassin working for Warner Brothers!
Annie: It's a movie company, they don't kill ponies.
Tom: Then explain to me why that pony with the Warner Bros hat is trying to kill us. Movie companies do this sort of stuff all the time.
Audience: *Laughing*
Annie: Hey. He stopped shooting at us.
Tom: Maybe because you're looking at him through a telescope. Let's get out of here. *Runs away*
Annie: *Puts telescope away, and follows Tom*

They decided to go see Saten Twist.

Tom: *Banging on door* Saten, we need your help!
Saten Twist: *Opens door*
Audience: *Clapping*
Saten Twist: Jesus christ! What are you over reacting about now?
Tom: Saten, when was I known to over react?

Flashback #1, at a restaurant.

Tom: *Runs to Saten Twist* Saten, we're out of napkins!! *Cries* Out of napkins!!
Audience: *Laughing*

Flashback #2, Saten Twist's house

Tom: *Knocking on door*
Saten Twist: *Opens door*
Tom: Saten, I accidentally removed a do not remove tag from my pillow!
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: Hide me!!

Flashback #3, dark room with no lights.

Tom: Saten, Saten! I've gone blind.
Audience: *Laughing*
Saten Twist: *Turns on light*
Tom: Oh. Thanks buddy.

Back to reality.

Saten Twist: Tom, you over react to everything.
Tom: Well we were being shot at earlier by a Warner Brothers assassin.
Saten Twist: I know only one way to solve this solution. End this part, and go straight to the skits.
Audience: *Laughing*

Our cast for this Celebrity Jeopardy skit is

Saten Twist - Alex Trebek (He wears a white wig, and his cutie mark has been changed to a game show wheel.)
Sean the hedgehog as himself (He's a famous war hero.)
Master Sword as Windwakerguy430, AKA Nick Craig
and Applejack as herself

Alex: And welcome back to Celebrity Jeopardy.
Audience: *Cheering*
Alex: Because of what happened just before the commercial, I'd like to apologize to all blind ponies, and children.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: With that said, let's take a look at the scores. Nick Craig, the creator of What's Your Take, has set a new jeopardy record by buzzing in 2,000 times, and never answering a question.
Audience: *Laughing*
Nick: *Buzzes in* Yes, thank you. Jeopardy! Yes. I have heeled you my boy, you are heeled.
Audience: *Laughing*
Nick: We have found a mustache for John Travlolta.
Audience: *Laughing*
Nick: And speaking of John Travolta, I watched the movie Grease!
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: *A little annoyed* Thank you. Thank you.
Audience: *Clapping*
Alex: Moving on. Applejack has no score at all, because, she's mostly been talking about her recent marriage with her brother.
Audience: *Laughing*
Applejack: Big Macintosh my love, if you're watching this, make sure to put on Appplebloom's diapers before supper, and she's not allowed to leave the farm until I get back.
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Alex: That's... Beautiful. And finally, Sean the hedgehog is also here, let's move on to double jeopardy, and the categories are-
Sean: Not so fast Trebek!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: I really thought that was going to work.
Sean: Well you were wrong old timer. I pose a conundrum to you, a riddle if you will.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: *Angry* I don't want to here it.
Sean: What's the difference between you, and a mallard with a cold?
Audience: *Laughing*
Sean: One is a sick duck, and, I can't remember the rest of the joke, but your grand daughter is a whore.
Audience: *Laughing, and cheering*
Sean: *Laughs*
Alex: Wonderful. Let's take a look at the categories. They are...

Potent Potables
Point to your own head
Letters or numbers
Will this hurt if you put it in your mouth?
An album cover
Make any noise
And finally, Famous Muppet Frogs

Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: I should add, that the correct answer to every question in the last category is Kermit.
Nick: *Buzzes in* Yes, thank you. Kermit, and John Wayne going, it's not easy being green pilgrim. It's like Schwarzenegger going ja, I'm Kermit The Frog, ja. That's me. Schwarzenegger, Kermit.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sean: *To Nick* You might be mentally retarded.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: For once, I agree with Sean. Alright Applejack, we'll start with you.
Applejack: I'll take giraffes for a billion.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Let's just go with letters, or numbers for 200. And the answer is... 5. Is five a letter, or a number?
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: The number 5. Is it a number?
Audience: *Laughing*
Nick: *Buzzes in* It was a beautiful thing. Right now, somepony is at his house saying, what the hell you doin boy? Get them parts for my '51 pick up truck.
Alex: Thank you, Mr. Craig.
Audience: *Laughing*
Nick: *Buzzes*
Alex: You already rang in.
Nick: Yes, it's a beautiful thing though, a monocle whinskey is at home going, ahoserugisoihsegkegsgjeh.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Thank you. Thank you. Anyone else?
Nick: *Buzzes in*
Alex: Mr. Craig, I hate you.
Nick: But I love you!
Audience: *Laughing*
Nick: It's like Jesse Helms, and Michael Jackson going, yimotacobell! Yes.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: You're a very sick stallion.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Anyone else besides Mr. Craig?

No one buzzed in, and the out of time bell rang.

Alex: 5 is of course a number.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Okay Applejack. Sadly, it's still your board.
Audience: *Laughing*
Applejack: I'll take T.V shows, and movies about my wedding for 300.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: For the last time, that's not a category. Sean the hedgehog, why don't you pick?
Sean: Well, the game is afoot. I'll take Anal Bum Cover for 7,000.
Audience: *Laughing, clapping, cheering, and whistling*
Alex: That's An Album Cover, not Anal Bum Cover.
Sean: I can read Trebek. That says Anal Bum Cover. I spent five years trying to invent the Anal Bum Cover. Failing to do so is my greatest regret.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: You have lead a horrifying life.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: The category is Album Cover, and the answer is, The Beatles' White Album Cover Was This Color.
Applejack: *Rings in*
Alex: Applejack?
Applejack: Who are The Beatles?
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: I'm sorry, that's wrong.
Applejack: No, I'm asking you who The Beatles are. I never heard of them.
Audience: *Laughing*
Nick: *Rings in* Ah yes, The Beatles, yes. What if they were The Vriendscoupe Beatles? Yes. They'd be in the back seat singing, I wanna hold your five Fig Newtons. Yes.

Author's note, Vriendscoupe is the MLP version of Volkswagen.

Alex: For the love of god, shut your mouth.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: I'll tell you what, let's just go to Final Jeopardy. The category is.... You know what? You guys just decide.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: You each ask your own question, and then answer it.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: There is no way you can get this wrong, because you're asking the question.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Ask yourself anything at all, and then answer it.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: You have to be the dumbest ponies ever to mess this up.

The timer ran out.

Alex: And now, let's see how you managed to mess this up.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Nick Craig wrote nothing, because he stuck his pen through his own hoof.
Audience: *Laughing*
Nick: Yes. Yes, this is like a play written by Shakespeare, and one of the characters stabs himself to be with his special somepony, and says, Ow! This is painful! But I'm doing this to be with you!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Don't ever come here again.
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Alex: Applejack, asked herself this question. What sound does a doggy make?
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Fine. Her answer is.. *Finds out that she doesn't know the answer* You didn't know the answer.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: You couldn't answer your own question?
Applejack: It was hard.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Okay, let's see what Sean wrote. *Looking at his answer* Uh...
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Is that what I think it is? Yeah, that's a human having sex with me.
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Sean: Come on, let everyone see my work!
Alex: No, we're not going to do that. Thanks for watching, goodnight.
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*

On the next part of this episode, it's The Story Of Corporal Agarn, and every other pony in F Troop.

The Story of Corporal Agarn

Theme song

Though he goes on a rage from time to time
He is a very good friend of mine
And in Fort Courage he is well known as
Corporal Agarn

Starring Master Sword as Corporal Agarn
Tom Foolery as Captain Parmenter
Saten Twist as Sargent O' Rourke
Mortomis as Dobbs, the bugler
Snow Wonder as Wrangler Jane
Cosmic Rainbow as Corporal Vanderbilt
Blaze as Corporal Duffy

Corporal Agarn was with Sargent O' Rourke when Captain Partmenter arrived with the mail.

Captain Parmenter: Hi everypony. *Tries to open bag, but drops it, and falls on ground*
Audience: *Laughing*
Captain Parmenter: *Gets up*
Sargent O' Rourke: Are you alright Captain?
Captain Parmenter: Yes, I'm fine. I got some letters for you two. *Gives mail to Sargent O' Rourke, and Corporal Agarn*
Sargent O' Rourke: *Reading letter*
Corporal Agarn: *Reading his letter* What did you get Sarge?
Sargent O' Rourke: I got coupons for anything I want, half price at Bed, Bath, And Beyond.
Audience: *Laughing*
Corporal Agarn: My cousin is coming to visit me!
Captain Parmenter: What does he look like?
Corporal Agarn: He looks exactly like me, but he has facial hair. You see, he's from Mexico, and his name is Pedro Agarno.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sargent O' Rourke: Sounds Italian to me.
Corporal Agarn: He despises Italians!
Audience: *Laughing*

Later, Corporal Agarn's cousin arrived on a stage coach.

Corporal Agarn: Hello Pedro.
Pedro: Hello? ¿Por qué dices hello?
Audience: *Laughing*
Corporal Agarn: Oh, you still haven't learned english. Whoever's writing this thing, I hope you're good at writing in spanish.
Audience: *Laughing*
Pedro: Es bueno verte de nuevo primo.
Corporal Agarn: Gracias Pedro. Es bueno verte de nuevo también.
Pedro: *Espera en el uniforme de Agarn*
Audience: *Laughing*
Pedro: ¿Qué es esta cosa que estés vestida?
Corporal Agarn: Es mi uniforme. Yo soy un cabo en el ejército de los Estados Unidos.
Pedro: Sin primo mío va a ser en el ejército. Usted podría morir.
Captain Parmenter: *Arrives* Hi you two. How is everything?
Pedro: Haz que hablan español.
Corporal Agarn: Uh, Captain, Pedro wants you to speak Spanish.
Captain Parmenter: I don't know how to.
Corporal Agarn: It's easy. Just speak Italian, but with less syllables.
Audience: *Laughing*
Captain Parmenter: Oh, okay. Bonjour.
Audience: *Laughing*
Corporal Agarn: Where did I go wrong?
Ponies: *Singing* Though he goes on a rage from time to time, he is a very good friend of mine. And in Fort Courage he is well known as, Corporal Agarn.
Dobbs: *Playing the bugle poorly*
Corporal Agarn: I'm warning you Dobbs!
Audience: *Laughing*

Princess Celestia

Starring Celestia, Luna, Twilight, and Derpy as theirselves
Blaze as Jonathan (For this skit, he's bald.)
Cosmic Rainbow as Chrysler (For this skit, he has a mustache.)
Mortomis as Bryan
Saten Twist as Timothy
Double Scoop as Skeletor
Master Sword as Harry
Sophie Shimmer as Alexis
Astrel Sky as Jenny

Princess Celestia was having cereal with Bryan, Timothy, Skeletor, Harry, Jenny, and Alexis

Celestia: So this, is that new cereal everypony is talking about. *Looking at cereal, which looks like spinach*
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: I could do a better job then this.
Mail Pony: *Walks in*
Celestia: *Stops eating, and takes letter* Equestria Food Corporations has challenged me to an Iron Chef Competition. We dare you to make a cereal better than ours. You have 24 hours to reply.

5 seconds later.

Audience: *Laughing*
Twilight: *In the underground parking lot with Luna* Man, did you hear what Princess Celestia is tryin' to do?
Luna: Yes. She has accepted the challenge that Equestria Food Corporations sent her.
Twilight: Nigga, she can't cook. Everypony knows that. Remember what happened last time?

5 hours ago.

Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: *Cooking pizza* Okay, who wants pepperoni? *Grabs red hotwheels cars*
Audience: *Laughing*
Luna: Princess, that's not Pepperoni, it's-
Celestia: *Puts red hotwheels cars in the pizza*
Audience: *Laughing*
Luna: Never mind. *Walks away*

Back to Twilight, and Luna.

Luna: Exactly. This is an antic waiting to happen.
Cadence: *Drives her car into the parking lot*
Twilight: Damn, check out this nigga's ride.
Luna: Coming to visit?
Cadence: Yes, but not for long. I heard Celestia accepted the Iron Chef challenge given to her by the Equestria Food Corporations, and wanted to see how it went.
Luna: Now that I think about it, this will be funny, even if we don't sabotage her cooking. *Walks towards a car* I'd love to stay with you, but I am needed elsewhere. *Gets in car*
Driver: *Starts car, and revs engine twice. He then drives away*
Cadence: *Staring at Luna*
Twilight: Man, let's get to the next scene. We went too long without anything funny happening!
Audience: *Laughing*

Cooking with Celestia.

Derpy: *Walks into kitchen* May I assist you in your culinary adventure? I brought you a ketchup packet.
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: Isn't that mighty helpful of you? *Throws chef hat at Derpy* Now put on this chef hat.
Derpy: *Puts on chef's hat*
Celestia: I'm the best there is. 'S a fact. What you see here will be responsible for kicking your tastebuds in the ass.
Derpy: *Sees her hat moving by itself*
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: Let's start cooking. Turkey! *Puts turkey in a pot of boiling water* A cookie!
Audience: *Laughing*

Derpy watched as Celestia kept on shouting out random things while putting it in the pot.

Celestia: Roast Beef! A bird's feather! A pillow!
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: And now I will crack this egg like a pro. This is how the pros do it! *Smashes her hoof into the egg* And right into the pot! *Throws egg into pot*
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: This is going to be really delicious. Isn't it?
Derpy: It looks like you're mashing up random shit together.
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: Get out! And take this ketchup packet with you! *Throws ketchup packet at Derpy*

Later, everypony tried out the "thing" Celestia cooked.

Celestia: I worked my floating mane off of this, so I want everypony to enjoy it.
Ponies: *Eating food*
Celestia: I can tell everypony really likes it.
Chrysler: *Burps* I think I just ate a cotton ball.
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: Don't you dare insult my cooking like that.
Audience: *Laughing*
Skeletor: Don't worry Princess. I really enjoy this delicious meal, *Barfs on Alexis*
Audience: *Laughing*

Everypony started to stand up, and leave

Celestia: Where the hell do you think you're all going?!
Timothy: Skeletor just barfed all over Alexis.
Celestia: I don't care! You are going to sit back down, and enjoy the food I created for you.
Audience: *Laughing*
Timothy: *Barfs on Celestia*
Celestia: *Barfs on table*
Audience: *Laughing*

Outside in the hallway, everypony could hear Celestia shouting.

Celestia: Somepony must have sabotaged my cooking!
Ponies: *Staring at Twilight*
Twilight: Yo! What the f**k are you niggas staring at?
Audience: *Laughing*

We return to the block with Master Sword, and Saten Twist walking down the street.

Master Sword: You told me never to go to your Celebrity Jeopardy games again.
Audience: *Laughing*
Saten Twist: As long as you don't play as the person that created you, you can stay there.
Master Sword: What's wrong with Windwakerguy430? He's awesome.
Saten Twist: Okay, his real name is Nick Craig, so shut up.
Master Sword: Do you want me to stop talking?
Audience: *Laughing*
Saten Twist: *Stops walking* Wait a minute.
Master Sword: *Stops*
Saten Twist: This is where Tom, and Annie got attacked by that Warner Brothers Assassin.
Master Sword: I thought Warner Brothers made movies.
Audience: *Laughing*
Saten Twist: *Looks to the left* He's there.
Warner Brothers Assassin: *Sleeping*
Audience: *Laughing*
Saten Twist: He's going to kill us, so we have to turn around.
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: Really? Let me take a look at him. *Looks left, and sees the assassin* Come on Saten, he's sleeping. We can go right past him, and he'll have no idea about it. *Walking down the street*
Warner Brothers Assassin: *Wakes up*
Master Sword: See? He isn't going to do anything. *Gets shot in leg*
Audience: *Laughing*
Saten Twist: I warned you. *Picks up Master Sword, and runs away* You just had to ignore me. Didn't you?
Master Sword: He was sleeping.
Saten Twist: That's no excuse.
Audience: *Laughing*
Saten Twist: What if you told your teacher that if you failed a test?
Master Sword: I'm gonna tell her I failed a test, because she was sleeping?
Audience: *Laughing*
Saten Twist: That's not the point. You need to be more careful.
Double Scoop: *Walking down the street with Aina*
Saten Twist: Not these two. We can't let anything bad happen to them.

Meanwhile with the assassin.

Warner Brothers Assassin: Where is that Tom Foolery pony? He's insulted Warner Bros, and it's films, and TV shows too many times.
Tom: *Walking past the building*
Warner Brothers Assassin: *Looking at Tom* I can't find him!
Audience: *Laughing*
Saten Twist: *Sees Tom* Great. Three ponies I need to protect. I'm too sober for this. *Grabs bottle of beer, and drinks it*
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: Hi Saten.
Saten Twist: Tom, find cover.
Tom: Are you talking about the assassin?
Audience: *Laughing*
Saten Twist: Yeah, he's gonna shoot you.
Tom: Oh, I don't think so. He's not in his position on that building I just walked past.
Saten Twist: Don't let that fool you.
Master Sword: Yeah. Look what happened to me!
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: Make sure you get away from the assassin before he wakes up next time.
Master Sword: *Glaring at Tom*
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: Wait a minute. We're doing a skit that has us in the army.
Saten Twist: Are you talking about The Story Of Corporal Agarn?
Master Sword: Yes. I like where this is going.
Saten Twist: Because you're Corporal Agarn.
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: Maybe that's who I'll be next time I end up in Celebrity Jeopardy.
Audience: *Laughing*
Warner Brothers Assassin: *Waiting for a bus*
Tom: Say, there's the assassin at a bus stop.
Saten Twist: He has his guns, and clothing in a suitcase.
Audience: *Laughing*
Warner Brothers Assassin: I'll be back to finish you losers off. You won't be alive for much longer! *Gets on bus*
Tom: That's right. We'll be alive for much much longer.
Audience: *Laughing*

The End

Song: link

Percy: Ladies, and gentlemen, our first half of this week's show is finished. Be sure to come back at 8:30 to watch the second half of, Sean's Spectacular Saturday of Stories.