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posted by Windwakerguy430
This is a game that me and my two brothers loved back in the day. It was a game we first found in our local dollar store… Yes, it was that obscure. And worse of all, it wasn’t even in the front row. It was hidden behind a copy of Attack of the Movies 3D (And don’t worry, I’ll get to that game another time). We ended up buying three copies of this game. The first from the dollar store, another from the bargain bin at a Wal-Mart, and I bought my copy online for six bucks. Needless to say, this game was cheap as hell, despite that it deserved much more love than that. And that game is known as Brutal Legend.



~Plot~

Brutal Legend is a game made by the one Tim Schafer, who was once very well respected, until the whole sock puppet thing happened. But before that, he was known for making other underrated classics like Psychonauts and Grim Fandango (I may get to those games one day too). So naturally, Brutal Legend would also fall into obscurity despite how good the game truly was. Brutal Legend follows Jack Black- I mean, Eddie Riggs. A metal roadie who happened to look and is voiced by Jack Black. He misses the good old days of metal and, after dying from a fatal stage accident, his blood enters his belt buckle, which turns out to be an amulet to the Metal Beast Ormagoden, a creature that is awoken from Eddie’s blood and transports him to the world of metal. Here, Eddie gets caught up in a massive war between the rebellious humans against many armies, including the glam metal themed army lead by the human minion General Lionwhyte, the goth metal themed undead army, Drowning Doom, and the death metal themed demons lead by the main antagonist of the game, the Tainted Coil. Eddie begins to help in the rebellion, later naming the army Ironheade (And yes, the “e” at the end was intentional), and soon begins to form an army of Headbangers, Healers, Bouncers, Groupies, Fire Barons, fire-breathing jungle cats, and more. It gets pretty crazy, but I love it so much.



~Gameplay~

As I said before, Brutal Legend takes place in a world that is completely metal. From large stone monuments of swords and guitars, to entire jungles filled with skulls and crazy monsters, to some of the best foggy environments I’ve seen in a game, all of the environments, from what I’ve read, are all inspired and based off of metal album covers of famous metal bands. And I believe it. The world has a lot for you to explore… At first, but we’ll get to that soon. There are lots of enemies you can run into. From the glamorous soldiers of Lionwhyte, to the undead Drowning Doom, to the demons of the Tainted Coil, to even the wildlife of the game. You have your typical friendly creatures like the large porcupines to the deer, but then you got giant bear-like creatures with metal faces, woolly mammoths with massive tusks, panthers with laser-eyes, and even giant living guillotines. Those last ones may be my favorite. There’s a lot to find in the open world. You can find and open shops where you will meet eh Guardian of Metal, this games merchant, who will sell you upgrades on your weapons, your car, and new skills. It also helps that he is voiced by Ozzy Osbourne. You can find new songs for the radio, even some by Tenacious D. You can find binoculars that let you get some sight seeing, legends that help you understand the lore of Brutal Legend, bound dragons that you can free for extra points, and jumps that you can make with your car. There’s also some side quests that you can do. But soon, you’ll realize that all of these sidequests are the same. Their fun, but they get old. Having to do the same “Defend this spot” or “Race this guy” or “Point a cannon at this enemy” gets old after a while, and hearing the same recycled dialogue doesn’t help. Thankfully, there are some unique side quests later on that help change things up a little. As I said before, the world is fun to explore… At first. After a while, once you’ve collected everything, there isn’t much left to explore, and not a whole lot to motivate you to continue. It suffers from an environment that isn’t very interactive, and aside from a few allies and random enemy encounters, it’s pretty barren, and all you can do is drive around and listen to the game’s metal playlist. It’s definitely not going to be a game that you will be exploring a lot.



Now, you may have noticed in my previous paragraph that I said that you can upgrade weapons and cars. And yes you can, as fighting is a major part of the game. Your first weapon in the game is the axe, The Separator. The Separator is a powerful axe that can be upgraded to fire electricity, set enemies on fire, drain their blood to heal you, or get stronger as you attack enemies. Another weapon you will use is Eddie’s signature guitar, Clementine. The guitar is powerful enough to send shockwaves and electrocute enemies, but when you play a well-timed guitar solo, you can perform many different things, like melt the faces of the enemies, befriend wildlife of any kind, or send a giant fucking flaming zeppelin to crash into your enemies. But the one you will most likely be using a lot is summoning your car, The Deuce. The Deuce will be the best way for you to get around in this game. It can be upgraded to have better armor, as well as have weapons such as machine guns and lighting, or side flames and mines. It’s easy to say that you have quite an arsenal of weapons. It’s good to have the Deuce on hand when you are fighting enemies by car, and it really does help out a lot in many situations. But you think this game was going to be a hack and slash game? No… You are wrong. When you look at the box, do you really think it’s going to be that? Maybe, but I assure you, you are wrong. This is what the game really is all about.



Brutal Legend is actually a game where you must participate in Stage Battles. Stage Battles is where, when you fight major enemies and armies in the game, your goal is to defend your stage to the best of your abilities while you try to attack the enemies and destroy it… That’s right. Brutal Legend is actually a real time strategy game. Yeah, I was just as shocked as you when I saw it. But, really, it’s actually a lot of fun. Sure, it comes out of nowhere, but it is actually one of the most fun parts of the game. Like I said, you must use your army to defend the stage while attacking the stage. But you also need to collect Fans. Fans are these green spirits that rests within these geysers. To take the fans for yourself, you must use Eddie to perform a guitar solo, where a Merch Booth will surround the geyser and the Fans will head to your stage. The more Fans you have, the more easier it will be to purchase more allies for the battlefield. But be careful, because the enemy can create Merch Booths as well, and not only can they make their own Merch Booths, but they can also destroy your Merch Booth. So, you need to defend your Merch Booths, while you attempt to destroy their Merch Booths and build your own where the enemy’s Merch Booth just was. It gets very tense, especially in later parts of the game, where the stage can really be a problem, and can really be a big problem when the opposing armies leader comes into the fight. He can mess up your team and you, but if you have the right members, you can mess him up. But he can do the same to you. But don’t worry too much, as dying on the battlefield doesn’t give you an automatic game over. It just sends you back to your stage. Losing the stage, however, does result in a game over. So you really need to plan out your attacks, especially on harder difficulties. The stage can add either laser towers, which are bullshit, or fog, that makes things harder to see…. But not by much, really. It gets to be a lot of fun, and is definitely something that I can enjoy. And this is coming from someone who hasn’t played many real time strategy games, the only other one I’ve ever played being…. LEGO Battles (And that is another game I will be reviewing one day).



~Ending~

~SPOILERS AHEAD~

So, after taking out Lionwhyte, killing off most of the Drowning Doom, finding that one of the Ironheade members, Ophelia, was leading the Drowning Doom, and making it to the final battle against the Tainted Coil… This is definitely one of the hardest fights in the game. The Tainted Coil can swarm your teammates in a matter of seconds while you attempt to destroy the living house that the main villain, Doviculus (Voiced by Tim Curry, I might add) has brought to life. You need to weaken the house (TWICE), then use the Deuce to drive up a ramp and smash into the house, before you can go in and fight Doviculus himself. Before the fight, Eddie is told by Doviculus that Ophelia is not the demon witch, Succoria- Okay, history time, Succoria was a demon witch who was even more evil than Doviculus, and had planned on killing the humans. However, she soon noticed that humans, with the help of Eddie’s father, Riggnarok, who also came to this world, had soon overpowered the demons, and she soon fell into a deep depression and hid away from the world. Riggnarok was tasked with killing Succoria, but soon took pity on her and the two fell in love and soon had a child, that child being Eddie, who was sent to the real world to avoid the world such as this. So, Eddie is the true descendent of Succoria that Doviculus was searching for. Did you get all that? Good…. And then Doviculus rips out Ophelia’s heart. Yeah, that should help add an extra layer of “What” to this “What” cake. So, after that information bomb, Eddie and Doviculus engage in the final battle… And boy is it intense. It isn’t going to be on anyone’s greatest final bosses list, but it’s pretty good. You need to use both melee attacks as well as using the guitar to attack Doviculus, while attacking his minions and avoiding the hazards, like the Bleeding Deaths that are right outside the building trying to swat at you. After you defeat Doviculus, Eddie proceeds to decapitate him, finally killing him. He then jumps into the Black Sea, a major plot point in the game- Do I have to fucking explain everything!?- where he finds the real Ophelia… Yeah, I don’t get it either. He saves her, they get together, and everyone ends up happy. However, after all this, Eddie isn’t seen as the hero. My brothers were pretty pissed that he didn’t get the hero status he deserves, but they just didn’t get it. Eddie wants this. He’s a roadie, after all. His job, as he stated, is to make others look good while he stays out of the spotlight, and that’s just what he does. A pretty good ending, if you ask me…. A pretty damn good game, if you ask me.



~Legacy~

Brutal Legend was a game that received incredibly acclaim and had a cult following soon after it released… The problem comes from the fact that the marketing for this game was practically non-existent. Most of the marketing was “Jack Black would be in it” and not much else. There was some gameplay of the game, but then you remember that some people aren’t fans of real time strategy. And to think that an entire sequel was already planned… And then they remembered they were working with EA. They were told by EA that it was okay to make the sequel, but after seeing the sales, and after already having lots of time put into it, EA just kinda told them to stop. From what I was read, the world would have been bigger, had more monsters, a return of Doviculus, and even include the voice of Ronnie James Dio… Well, I guess that last one won’t happen, sadly. This choice nearly destroyed Double Fine, as they had almost went bankrupt due to spending all their time working on the sequel. Of course, this wouldn’t exactly be the first company EA forcefully ran into the ground like Hindenburg. But wait, there is still a glimmer of hope. Double Fine has been crowd-funding a sequel to Psychonauts, and Schafer has stated that, if this funding is successful, then maybe, JUST MAYBE, Brutal Legend may get that well deserved sequel.

~Verdict~

Brutal Legend was a game that had all the potential to be more than what it was. It had style, a unique story and world to interact with, amazing voice talent that you usually expect from a Schafer game, and some of the best real time strategy I’ve seen (Granted, the only real time strategy I’ve seen, but that’s beside the point). Brutal Legend may not be the perfect open world RTS game, but it one of the better ones that I’ve played… I mean, I haven’t played much that mix those two genres together, but hey, Brutal Legend makes me want to look into them. So, with that said, I give Brutal Legend the ranking of Hidden Gem.

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Art by Alinah_09
Art by Alinah_09
Hello, and welcome to the Third Day of Christmassacre. And today, we got something extra special for you all. We all know that Black Christmas was a great and subtle slasher film. And we all known nothing about Elves other than it’s bad and it’s hilarious because it’s awful. But, if we were to merge the two together, getting a slasher movie that has so bad, it’s good concepts and is a hilarious mess…. Silent Night, Deadly Night. Let’s get into this wonderful, wonderful mess.



So, this movie was released to the world in the good old year of 1984. Ronald Reagan was in office,...
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There are a lot of endings in video games. They all usually end happily, with the main character beating the bad guy, and saving the world. And, as a fictional world where things end well for everyone, we all like to see good triumph over evil. But, in the world of video games, there are just some moments that don’t care about the good ending. Sure, the good ending is right there, but what if you can’t get it. What if, no matter how hard you try, you can’t get that good ending, resulting in a bad ending or even the worst ending possible. And that’s what this list is for. So, let us...
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Art by Alinah_09
Art by Alinah_09
Halloween was a pretty good movie… And then it made a bunch of crappy sequels. I could talk about how I hate all of them equally, but I want to focus on the one that was an immediate sequel to the first one, the second movie in the franchise. So, how could what was said to be one of the greatest slasher movies of all time manage to get worse and worse with time… Well, why don’t we look into it and find out?



First off, I would like to point out one thing. The director of the first movie was John Carpenter. However, he was then changed to producer, and Halloween 2 was directed by Rick...
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Be me. Age 9. My brother’s birthday comes up and for it, he gets a copy of Tony Hawk Underground. I watch him play it for a bit and am amazed by the character creator, insane tricks, and how much I hate Eric Sparrow. Sneak into his room while he’s at work. Try to play Tony Hawk Underground. Fail miserably. Finally manage to get the tricks down. Brother walks in from work. Mfw.jpeg. Immediately gets punched in the stomach and thrown out…. Tony hawk everyone.



Legendary skater and now a family man who is going through an existential crisis, he was the man who revolutionized skateboarding...
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added by Windwakerguy430
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Song: link

Johnny: *Running on a rooftop*
Parker: *Running with Gordon* Get him!!
Sean: Why is that guy being chased?
Jeff: I don't know.
Johnny: *Hiding, watching Parker and Gordon run in the other direction* Finally, they're gone. They want me dead because I'm tonight's host for Sean's Spectacular Saturday of Stories. There are two films we have for you.

8:00 PM - Con Mane: Golden Iris

8:30 PM - Six Shooters 5

Welcome to another story about a spy named Con Mane. We begin at a Mexican nuclear base.

Con: *runs onto dam*
pilot: *flies past Con*
Con: *ties himself to guardrail*

Con jumped, as the rope...
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Art by SeantheHedgehog
Art by SeantheHedgehog
Monsters and creatures in a horror game, movie, show, or book are the very thing that makes the game, movie, show, or book scary. It shows us something that is a threat, possibly completely inhuman and unimaginable, that we wouldn’t expect it to be real, but horror makes us believe that it is real, and that is what scares. So, whenever a monster is done and used creativity, I tend to respect the creator and the use of the monster. And there are so many of them, I may have to make another list another time. But, for now, I wanna talk about monsters and creatures from… anything that I find...
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I don’t think I need to give a lesson on who Batman is. Everyone and their grandparents know who he is. Batman, the Dark Knight, the Caped Crusader. Having tons of comics, movies and video games. Some being some of the greatest games of all time and others being… the complete opposite. And that’s what we are looking at, the complete opposite. Developed by the Japanese studio, Kemco Software, best known for their work on the Top Gear franchise and their mobile games, they are still around today. Nothing was hurt by this game, DC Comics is still making bank and Batman is still a cherished...
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posted by Windwakerguy430
Okay, so after the last game, I needed to cool down and play a much better game. That last one got a little heated, but thankfully, I can try out something that may calm me down and be a joy to play. So, with that all said and done, let us play through a Grasshopper Manufacture game. Grasshopper made a lot of underrated titles, such as Killer 7, Shadows of the Damned, and the great Wii franchise, No More Heroes. So, naturally, I really enjoy seeing their name on anything. With that being said, I can’t wait to talk about today’s game, Killer is Dead



~Story~

Killer is Dead was made some...
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added by Seanthehedgehog
Source: ww90sr8hierosdknlnholsnhoieryjoerijlkdfshmskdfhdghdsgserhd
When it comes to video games, many people expect a satisfying final boss to help bring the game to a close. Many bosses can be huge and epic, like in Bayonetta. They could be incredibly emotional, like Gwyn from Dark Souls. Or they can equal your strength and test your skills like Henry from No More Heroes… Or sadly, they can suck so hard, that they make you question why you went through the game for this in the first place. That is what I want to talk about today. Final bosses that are built up to be epic, and in the end, suck so hard, that it literally leaves a bad taste in your mouth....
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added by Seanthehedgehog
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Well, here it is. It’s time for the moment you’ve all been waiting for. While I have been busy with a ton of other things like work and the underlying threat of every phone call being a scam artist or something to leave me bankrupt, this article has always been in the back of my mind. And I’m finally gonna talk about it. Today. That’s right. It’s time we finally get to talking about the classic comedy film. Clerks… 2!. Nah, I’m kidding. Fuck that movie. It’s Clerks, the original, 1994 film



I: From Humble Beginnings

Clerks is the best comedy film I have ever seen. Of...
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posted by Windwakerguy430
(Walter and Phillip walk into a building carrying the suitcase)
Doorman: Hold it, who are you two
Walter: I’m Walter, and this is Phillip. We have a meeting with Ricardo
Doorman: The boss? Alright, go on in
Walter: Thanks (Walks in)
Phillip: (Stops) So, what kind of stuff does Ricardo sell, because my friend’s got this good pot and may be able to do business-
Walter: Phillip! Stop screwing around!

(Walter and Phillip wait in an elevator)
Walter: Now, Phillip, let me do the talking
Phillip: Why?
Walter: Because you can’t talk your way out of a problem to save your life. That’s why
Phillip: Please,...
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posted by Windwakerguy430
~Story~

The story follows a Ethan, young boy with a hatred for criminals and how he uses his new demonic powers to kill criminals to make a better world for himself and his sister

~Characters~

Ethan

A young university student practicing to be a prosecutor. At the age of sixteen, his parents were killed by robbers while they were in a store. It was around this time where he grew to have a strong hatred for criminals. However, a few years later, at the age of twenty two, his twenty year old sister, Rebecca, was almost sexually harassed on her way from school. Ethan was able to save her, but was beaten...
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added by Windwakerguy430
So, there are a lot of fanfics on the internet. I mean A LOT. Even I need a break sometime. So, lets read a internet comic strip. The one known infamously throughout the internet as the Bong Chong Dong Ghost…. Oooooh….. fuck.
So, this is a comic strip that comes from Korea. And, if you’re uncultured, then the only thing you can think of from Korea is Kim Jong Un, and Gundam Style. In other words, GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE FUCKING GUTTER! Anyway, this is probably one of the most well known and most terrifying thing from Korea…. minus their IPhone games, but, I mean actual terror. The Bong...
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