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posted by Windwakerguy430
This is a game that me and my two brothers loved back in the day. It was a game we first found in our local dollar store… Yes, it was that obscure. And worse of all, it wasn’t even in the front row. It was hidden behind a copy of Attack of the Movies 3D (And don’t worry, I’ll get to that game another time). We ended up buying three copies of this game. The first from the dollar store, another from the bargain bin at a Wal-Mart, and I bought my copy online for six bucks. Needless to say, this game was cheap as hell, despite that it deserved much more love than that. And that game is known as Brutal Legend.



~Plot~

Brutal Legend is a game made by the one Tim Schafer, who was once very well respected, until the whole sock puppet thing happened. But before that, he was known for making other underrated classics like Psychonauts and Grim Fandango (I may get to those games one day too). So naturally, Brutal Legend would also fall into obscurity despite how good the game truly was. Brutal Legend follows Jack Black- I mean, Eddie Riggs. A metal roadie who happened to look and is voiced by Jack Black. He misses the good old days of metal and, after dying from a fatal stage accident, his blood enters his belt buckle, which turns out to be an amulet to the Metal Beast Ormagoden, a creature that is awoken from Eddie’s blood and transports him to the world of metal. Here, Eddie gets caught up in a massive war between the rebellious humans against many armies, including the glam metal themed army lead by the human minion General Lionwhyte, the goth metal themed undead army, Drowning Doom, and the death metal themed demons lead by the main antagonist of the game, the Tainted Coil. Eddie begins to help in the rebellion, later naming the army Ironheade (And yes, the “e” at the end was intentional), and soon begins to form an army of Headbangers, Healers, Bouncers, Groupies, Fire Barons, fire-breathing jungle cats, and more. It gets pretty crazy, but I love it so much.



~Gameplay~

As I said before, Brutal Legend takes place in a world that is completely metal. From large stone monuments of swords and guitars, to entire jungles filled with skulls and crazy monsters, to some of the best foggy environments I’ve seen in a game, all of the environments, from what I’ve read, are all inspired and based off of metal album covers of famous metal bands. And I believe it. The world has a lot for you to explore… At first, but we’ll get to that soon. There are lots of enemies you can run into. From the glamorous soldiers of Lionwhyte, to the undead Drowning Doom, to the demons of the Tainted Coil, to even the wildlife of the game. You have your typical friendly creatures like the large porcupines to the deer, but then you got giant bear-like creatures with metal faces, woolly mammoths with massive tusks, panthers with laser-eyes, and even giant living guillotines. Those last ones may be my favorite. There’s a lot to find in the open world. You can find and open shops where you will meet eh Guardian of Metal, this games merchant, who will sell you upgrades on your weapons, your car, and new skills. It also helps that he is voiced by Ozzy Osbourne. You can find new songs for the radio, even some by Tenacious D. You can find binoculars that let you get some sight seeing, legends that help you understand the lore of Brutal Legend, bound dragons that you can free for extra points, and jumps that you can make with your car. There’s also some side quests that you can do. But soon, you’ll realize that all of these sidequests are the same. Their fun, but they get old. Having to do the same “Defend this spot” or “Race this guy” or “Point a cannon at this enemy” gets old after a while, and hearing the same recycled dialogue doesn’t help. Thankfully, there are some unique side quests later on that help change things up a little. As I said before, the world is fun to explore… At first. After a while, once you’ve collected everything, there isn’t much left to explore, and not a whole lot to motivate you to continue. It suffers from an environment that isn’t very interactive, and aside from a few allies and random enemy encounters, it’s pretty barren, and all you can do is drive around and listen to the game’s metal playlist. It’s definitely not going to be a game that you will be exploring a lot.



Now, you may have noticed in my previous paragraph that I said that you can upgrade weapons and cars. And yes you can, as fighting is a major part of the game. Your first weapon in the game is the axe, The Separator. The Separator is a powerful axe that can be upgraded to fire electricity, set enemies on fire, drain their blood to heal you, or get stronger as you attack enemies. Another weapon you will use is Eddie’s signature guitar, Clementine. The guitar is powerful enough to send shockwaves and electrocute enemies, but when you play a well-timed guitar solo, you can perform many different things, like melt the faces of the enemies, befriend wildlife of any kind, or send a giant fucking flaming zeppelin to crash into your enemies. But the one you will most likely be using a lot is summoning your car, The Deuce. The Deuce will be the best way for you to get around in this game. It can be upgraded to have better armor, as well as have weapons such as machine guns and lighting, or side flames and mines. It’s easy to say that you have quite an arsenal of weapons. It’s good to have the Deuce on hand when you are fighting enemies by car, and it really does help out a lot in many situations. But you think this game was going to be a hack and slash game? No… You are wrong. When you look at the box, do you really think it’s going to be that? Maybe, but I assure you, you are wrong. This is what the game really is all about.



Brutal Legend is actually a game where you must participate in Stage Battles. Stage Battles is where, when you fight major enemies and armies in the game, your goal is to defend your stage to the best of your abilities while you try to attack the enemies and destroy it… That’s right. Brutal Legend is actually a real time strategy game. Yeah, I was just as shocked as you when I saw it. But, really, it’s actually a lot of fun. Sure, it comes out of nowhere, but it is actually one of the most fun parts of the game. Like I said, you must use your army to defend the stage while attacking the stage. But you also need to collect Fans. Fans are these green spirits that rests within these geysers. To take the fans for yourself, you must use Eddie to perform a guitar solo, where a Merch Booth will surround the geyser and the Fans will head to your stage. The more Fans you have, the more easier it will be to purchase more allies for the battlefield. But be careful, because the enemy can create Merch Booths as well, and not only can they make their own Merch Booths, but they can also destroy your Merch Booth. So, you need to defend your Merch Booths, while you attempt to destroy their Merch Booths and build your own where the enemy’s Merch Booth just was. It gets very tense, especially in later parts of the game, where the stage can really be a problem, and can really be a big problem when the opposing armies leader comes into the fight. He can mess up your team and you, but if you have the right members, you can mess him up. But he can do the same to you. But don’t worry too much, as dying on the battlefield doesn’t give you an automatic game over. It just sends you back to your stage. Losing the stage, however, does result in a game over. So you really need to plan out your attacks, especially on harder difficulties. The stage can add either laser towers, which are bullshit, or fog, that makes things harder to see…. But not by much, really. It gets to be a lot of fun, and is definitely something that I can enjoy. And this is coming from someone who hasn’t played many real time strategy games, the only other one I’ve ever played being…. LEGO Battles (And that is another game I will be reviewing one day).



~Ending~

~SPOILERS AHEAD~

So, after taking out Lionwhyte, killing off most of the Drowning Doom, finding that one of the Ironheade members, Ophelia, was leading the Drowning Doom, and making it to the final battle against the Tainted Coil… This is definitely one of the hardest fights in the game. The Tainted Coil can swarm your teammates in a matter of seconds while you attempt to destroy the living house that the main villain, Doviculus (Voiced by Tim Curry, I might add) has brought to life. You need to weaken the house (TWICE), then use the Deuce to drive up a ramp and smash into the house, before you can go in and fight Doviculus himself. Before the fight, Eddie is told by Doviculus that Ophelia is not the demon witch, Succoria- Okay, history time, Succoria was a demon witch who was even more evil than Doviculus, and had planned on killing the humans. However, she soon noticed that humans, with the help of Eddie’s father, Riggnarok, who also came to this world, had soon overpowered the demons, and she soon fell into a deep depression and hid away from the world. Riggnarok was tasked with killing Succoria, but soon took pity on her and the two fell in love and soon had a child, that child being Eddie, who was sent to the real world to avoid the world such as this. So, Eddie is the true descendent of Succoria that Doviculus was searching for. Did you get all that? Good…. And then Doviculus rips out Ophelia’s heart. Yeah, that should help add an extra layer of “What” to this “What” cake. So, after that information bomb, Eddie and Doviculus engage in the final battle… And boy is it intense. It isn’t going to be on anyone’s greatest final bosses list, but it’s pretty good. You need to use both melee attacks as well as using the guitar to attack Doviculus, while attacking his minions and avoiding the hazards, like the Bleeding Deaths that are right outside the building trying to swat at you. After you defeat Doviculus, Eddie proceeds to decapitate him, finally killing him. He then jumps into the Black Sea, a major plot point in the game- Do I have to fucking explain everything!?- where he finds the real Ophelia… Yeah, I don’t get it either. He saves her, they get together, and everyone ends up happy. However, after all this, Eddie isn’t seen as the hero. My brothers were pretty pissed that he didn’t get the hero status he deserves, but they just didn’t get it. Eddie wants this. He’s a roadie, after all. His job, as he stated, is to make others look good while he stays out of the spotlight, and that’s just what he does. A pretty good ending, if you ask me…. A pretty damn good game, if you ask me.



~Legacy~

Brutal Legend was a game that received incredibly acclaim and had a cult following soon after it released… The problem comes from the fact that the marketing for this game was practically non-existent. Most of the marketing was “Jack Black would be in it” and not much else. There was some gameplay of the game, but then you remember that some people aren’t fans of real time strategy. And to think that an entire sequel was already planned… And then they remembered they were working with EA. They were told by EA that it was okay to make the sequel, but after seeing the sales, and after already having lots of time put into it, EA just kinda told them to stop. From what I was read, the world would have been bigger, had more monsters, a return of Doviculus, and even include the voice of Ronnie James Dio… Well, I guess that last one won’t happen, sadly. This choice nearly destroyed Double Fine, as they had almost went bankrupt due to spending all their time working on the sequel. Of course, this wouldn’t exactly be the first company EA forcefully ran into the ground like Hindenburg. But wait, there is still a glimmer of hope. Double Fine has been crowd-funding a sequel to Psychonauts, and Schafer has stated that, if this funding is successful, then maybe, JUST MAYBE, Brutal Legend may get that well deserved sequel.

~Verdict~

Brutal Legend was a game that had all the potential to be more than what it was. It had style, a unique story and world to interact with, amazing voice talent that you usually expect from a Schafer game, and some of the best real time strategy I’ve seen (Granted, the only real time strategy I’ve seen, but that’s beside the point). Brutal Legend may not be the perfect open world RTS game, but it one of the better ones that I’ve played… I mean, I haven’t played much that mix those two genres together, but hey, Brutal Legend makes me want to look into them. So, with that said, I give Brutal Legend the ranking of Hidden Gem.

posted by Seanthehedgehog

Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see. Pingas!
Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see. Pingas!


Seanthehedgehog Presents

Hedgehog In Ponyville Episode 9

Discorded

Being a war hero in a town where everyone likes you is a good thing. Everywhere I go, I see a friend. Everytime I need help with something, I ask them. I've also been promoted from captain to major.

We took back Ponyville from Nazi Forces, and Celestia was breifing me on my new assignment in Twilight's former library.

Celestia: Discord now has an army of his own. He has time traveled into the second world war in a planet called Earth, and gathered an army of italian humans....
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Theme song >>>> link

Seanthehedgehog presents

Ponies On The Rails

Starring

Peirce Hawkins "Hawkeye" From Seanthehedgehog

Red Rose From Chibiemmy

Honey Bee From NaomiWinx

Coffee Creme From KarinaBrony

Snowflake & Orion From Alinah09

Gordon, Percy, Jeff, Bartholomew, and Pete from Seanthehedgehog

Episode 16

On A Cold Night

December 1, 1952

It was 6:00 PM. The ponies would be heading home in an hour after a long day of work.

Hawkeye: Ugh. It's freezing.
Coffee Creme: How can anypony stand to be out here?
Hawkeye: I've got no idea. We better wait in the station.
Coffee Creme: Or...
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Song: link

Sean: *Backing into a station with a passenger train*
Jesse: Perfect timing.
Sean: Why?
Jesse: Listen to the music and you'll find out why.
Sean: We're not in New York City.
Liam: But that's where Bartholomew lives in his spin off. For the 2nd half of our show, we have back to back episodes. Have fun.

My name is Bartholomew Perfect The 55th. I was born in London, 1902. I lived there for nearly my entire life, but in 1951, I moved to Cheyenne Wyoming, which is in The United States of Equestria.

I worked on the Union Pacific as a conductor until June 1953, and I moved into Manehattan to work...
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Song (Start at 0:08): link

Thomas: *Puffs out of his sheds* Ah, nice to be back from vacation.
People: *Getting pictures of Thomas*
Thomas: *Smiling* Well, time to work on my branchline. Before I leave however, I got our schedule for tonight's segment of the S.S.S.S.

8 PM - Now

Ponies On The Rails - Bak2Bak

8:30 PM - Later

Adventures of Thomas & Friends
The Nut House

Theme song: link

Seanthehedgehog presents

Ponies On The Rails

Starring

Peirce Hawkins "Hawkeye" From Seanthehedgehog

Coffee Creme From KarinaBrony

Snowflake & Orion From Alinah09

Metal Gloss From DragonAura15

Stylo From Jimmythedragon

NocturnalMirage...
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posted by Windwakerguy430
Yes, the best and worst video games of the decade are still coming out on the Random club eventually. I just wanted to talk about something… truly random. The PS DUBs was truly the most unique console out there in the 6th generation. Despite being the biggest thing that was released in that generation, it had a lot of games. Many of them were great and really popular. But when your console is big, everyone wants a piece of the console war pie. And everyone got their games on the PS2 when it was released back in the day. And so many games fell to the wayside, resting on lowly game shelves,...
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Song: link

Panzer: Yes! We've taken control of the S.S.S.S!
Robert: What are we supposed to do?
Johnny: *Arrives with 12 marines* Give it back!
Panzer: Ah! Fight back before we lose control!! *Fighting Johnny with 20 men dressed as Nazis*
Robert: I'm gonna host this thing before we lose control. I doubt we will, but better safe than sorry. Here's the lineup.

Anata No Tenkei-Tekina Anime
Sean Meets The PPG
Ponies On The Rails

Girls: *Playing Rock & Roll music* Anata No Tenkei-Tekina Anime!! Anata No Tenkei-Tekina Anime!! Which is Japanese for, which is Japanese for... *Drum solo* Your Typical Anime....
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KISS, KISS, KISS! What could be said about the band KISS that hasn’t been said? They were insanely popular, had a recognizable image, Gene Simmons is a hack and I will probably hear from his lawyers for slander because he is that desperate to be acknowledged. But the point is, KISS was crazy popular and had merch all over the place. Toys, lighters, and crossovers galore. I was familiar with the music, mostly the songs from Tony Hawk’s Underground. Fucking Scooby-Doo had a crossover with them for some reason. So, naturally, a video game was expected to be in the works at some point. So,...
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Theme song >>>> link

Seanthehedgehog presents

Ponies On The Rails

Starring

Peirce Hawkins "Hawkeye" From Seanthehedgehog

Red Rose From Chibiemmy

Honey Bee From NaomiWinx

Coffee Creme From KarinaBrony

Snowflake & Orion From Alinah09

Gordon, Percy, Jeff, Bartholomew, and Pete from Seanthehedgehog

Hawkeye: *stops train at station* Hi. My name is Peirce Hawkins, though someponies prefer to call me Hawkeye. For ten episodes of this season, I have made many readers of this series very happy, and gave them a good laugh. Well, not all of them came from me, but I tried! Now let's take...
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posted by Windwakerguy430


I never grew up with the older consoles of the 80s and 90s, and among those was the Super Nintendo. Not that I didn’t want one. Hell, when I saw games like Link to the Past, Mega Man X, and Castlevania IV, those were the kinds of things I would be happy to play. And I was able to get some SNES games off the Wii Shop Channel before it died. One of those games being the RPG classic, Final Fantasy VI, or three in America, because of localization stuff- Don’t think too much about it
Final Fantasy VI follows, well, a ton of characters. The mysterious girl Terra, the treasure hunter Locke,...
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posted by Windwakerguy430
*The Senator laughed a vicious laugh, standing atop the precipice of his large tower. The Senator turned his face to the Knights of Right, the large group of superheroes that gathered to stop the hero, lead by the two greatest heroes of them all. The cybernetic billionaire with a body of iron and wires, but a heart of gold, White Dragon, and the champion of humanity from an alien planet, Mr. Marvelous. The Senator laughed once more as he stared down at the heroes, crossing his arms. His large masculine figure shown through his dark black suit and red tie. He stared at the two heroes and shouted,...
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Blossom: *Playing jump rope while doing hop scotch*
Bubbles: Nice.
Buttercup: At least I'm the host.
Bubbles: But where's the music?
Buttercup: *Kicks a radio*

Song: link

Buttercup: Uh, not what I had in mind, but it'll end soon anyway. We're going to play Nightmare Moonraker.

A lot of people think Moonraker is the worst Bond film, but what about Nightmare Moonraker?

We begin in western europe, as an airplane with ponies that are learning to skydive is flying 30,000 feet above the air

Russian pony: I have never done this before. Have you?
Con: No.
Russian pony: Oh you from United States of Equestria?
Con:...
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So I talk about quite a few things on here, most of them with varying levels of popularity. So what better way to grab people’s attention then with good old 2000s nostalgia. So I wanna talk about Ed, Edd, n Eddy, a favoite show of mine from my childhoo- wait, Ed, Edd n Eddy came out in the 90s, fuck!



Ed, Edd n Eddy is one of the greatest cartoons in, probably of all time. I know for a fact that it’s my favorite show. Where other famous shows tried and failed, Ed, Edd n Eddy succeeded. Spongebob is good, but it had some rough years. The Simpsons is alright, but it is in desperate need...
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Song: link

Liam: This is the same song as earlier!
Derek: I will keep playing different versions of this song until someone buys my Ford.
Sean: Oh *Blows his horn* this. *Crashes into the Ford*
Derek: Never mind. *Hops onto one of Sean's passenger cars* Enjoy some back to back episodes of The Nut House.

Theme Song

Kevin: *Plays piano*
David: *Playing bass*
Liam: *Playing drums*
Liz: *Plays guitar*
Mr. Nut: *Sings* Welcome everybody to The Nut House. Thankfully this is not in Laos. Come on everybody into The Nut House. You can wear anything except for a blouse. Come on everybody, step into The Nut House....
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(Considered originally wrote sometime in 2003 or 2004, based loosely Call of Duty 3.. But the story was rewritten and made public in August 23, 2013 in FictionPress, here was the result.. May not be very good, but here's still the story)




FIVE YEARS AGO,

Nazi's had attacked and destroyed a village, Thomas James Crow was the only lone survivor. He witnessed the town being destroyed and Nazi's killing the villagers including his parents, who were killed by one particular Nazi named LT Hassan, a cold hearted man, who has a large black mustache (what looks kind of like the one Captain Prices has in...
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You know, I've always made some pretty fucking awesome nicknames over the years. Examples are ToxicPlayer676, CycloneZero409, AeroBlaze327, DeathStarfy525, MediaCritic626, the list goes on and on.

But seriously, WHY THE FUCK did I pick "deathding"? What the fuck does that mean? Is that in correlation with some strange past reference? Is it some kind of puzzle piece to the Da Vinci Code? Is it the name of the gods that saved the space-time continuum from Tsubasa in The Bible, Psalms 49?

FUCK NO!

deathding is such a lame-ass name! It makes no sense, and it's not good at all! And I've made TONS of...
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Percy: *Throwing records onto the ground* We gotta find a song! WE GOTTA FIND A SONG!!!
Sean The Hedgehog: Let's use this one that we haven't used in a long time.

Song: link

Parker: Oh no, it's that song again! *Punches Stylo*
Percy: What have you started?! *Grabs a chair, and hits Sean in the head*
Sean The Hedgehog: WHAT DO YOU MEAN?!?! I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!!!

Everyone started to fight each other for no reason.

Mily: *Arrives with a passenger train, watching several people fight near her* Whoa. *Passing the fighters, and is now safe* Hi, I'm Mily. Welcome to Sean's Spectacular Saturday of Stories....
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
What to expect in this episode.

Captain Jefferson: There are reports being made about a silver Honda drifting on the streets of this town. We need to put a stop to it.

---

Toby: So you think you can build a better layout then Tim, huh?
Julia: You better believe it.
Toby: And you won't need help from anypony?
Julia: I can do it all by myself. You, Tim, and everypony will love it.

---

Pony On Motorcycle: *Does a wheelie, and goes on a car. He goes airborne, and lands on a Nissan Skyline police car*

Intro
Song: link

Julia: *Driving her police car on the round freeway*
Tim: *Sitting next to her*...
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Song: link

Carter: Now this is an awesome song.
Jerry: Couldn't agree more.
David: *Dancing with Liz*
Mr. Nut: Care to take things away Stylo?
Stylo: Yes sir. Welcome back everyone. For those of you just tuning in, my name is Stylo, and I'm your host for this week's segment of Sean's Spectacular Saturday of Stories. We have back to back episodes of Ponies On The Rails. Take it away.

Theme song >>>> link

Seanthehedgehog presents

Ponies On The Rails

Starring

Peirce Hawkins "Hawkeye" From Seanthehedgehog

Red Rose From Chibiemmy

Coffee Creme From KarinaBrony

Snowflake & Orion From Alinah09...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Special thanks to AquaMarine6663 for letting me use her three OC's, Aqua Marine, Double Scoop, and Blue Fedora.

Our main character for this story is a colt named Ralphie. He will be narrating this story, taking place in Indiana, 1948.

Ponies: *Walking on sidewalk, looking at the snow*
Colts: *Running down street passing a yellow house*

Ah, there it is. My old house. And there I am, with that ugly hat, and that dumb smile. No matter, Christmas was on it's way. Good old, lovely Christmas.

Later at night.

Band Ponies: *Playing Christmas music with trombones*

Downtown, everypony was getting prepared...
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Song: link

Tim: This is the next song I'm listening to on my patrol.
Toby: Not if I listen to it first.
Tim: Why you- *Fights with Toby, and makes a cloud of dust as they punch each other*
Toby The Tram Engine: I'll never understand those porcelain figures.
Hawkeye: That's because we're not made out of porcelain. We're not toilets. Pierce Hawkins here ladies, and gentlemen, and if you want spectacular stories, you've come to the right place. The 2nd half of our show is about to start with Gran Turismo. After that, it's Adventures of Thomas & Friends.

What to expect in this episode.

Twilight Sparkle:...
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