Please note that this is a countdown where we users make a lot of assumptions and don't provide proof of anything. This is for the amusement so please don't kill the fun :)




11. Prince
The Prince from Snow White comes in last place, can't say I'm stunned. At that time, Disney animators haven't mastered drawing male characters yet so I'm guessing what's underneath isn't HD quality either. He's also quite feminine looking, petite frame with soft edges. No worries though, Snow White loves his man for his huuuuuuuge heart :)


10. Charming
Nope, still not quite there with drawing men. Charming has a lot of nerves rolling his eyes at all those women. They're all fawning over him for his status of course and his status alone.

''but yeah, charming just doesn't seem like he's packing much and with that name he's gotta be overcompensating for something...'' -UnholyNoise
''He's very doughy looking. I'm sure that his package follows suit.'' - MelStrachey



9. Kristoff
Kristoff may have the prominent nose and the built to protect Anna but something about him doesn't scream biggie. What I'm saying is that he completely deviates from your typical confident Prince and that's why most voted him out this round. It's okay, Anna said size doesn't matter anyway.

''Eh. He has ZERO experience.'' - wavesurf
''Kristoff was voted off? Wow - I thought he'd win for sure. That guy is so big.'' - Silverrose1991


8. Aladdin
Aladdin might have the pecs but maybe not the riches down there. Well, at least he shows Jasmine the world. He was put into disadvantage for being a minor and that's the main reason why people voted for him on this round. Someone pointed out it was wrong to include him in the countdown but here he is making it thus far. I'm sure he'll turn out fine, just look at his father.

''that's why I picked him, because he's not an adult yet.'' - princesslullaby
''Mainly cause he's the youngest.'' - fluffyduckling


7. Shang
There's an undying stereotype that Asian men are smaller down there on average. Whether you believe it or not, here is where Shang lands. So I wonder where he would rank if he were say, cock-asian. Okay this article is full of bad puns but you'd expect them if we're discussing peewee size. Anyway, I'm sure he knows how to get down to business with it in bed.

''STATISTICS'' - LupinPrincess
''^ Statistics? More like stereotypes...'' - MelStrachey
''And the comments about Shang because "asians have small dicks" are ignorant and racist because if you did any research those statistics have been proven to be total racist BS.'' - princesslullaby


6. Flynn
We all know about his insecurities when he opened up to Rapunzel. He uses his famous smolder to get what he wants from women and when it gets down to it, it's apparently not that impressive to most. I personally think he's above average since his insecurities are justified but ah well.

''He's so insecure. There has to be a reason for it. ;)'' - audreybrooke
''I can't believe nobody voted for Flynn, the one with the biggest insecurity issues.'' - AudreyFreak


5. Eric
Eric falls in the middle-ish placements so I'm guessing users thought his is just kinda there. Ariel has had a tail for most of her life, so she won't tell the difference anyway. Plus, maybe it looks much better when eric-t ;)

''He is the least manly of the remaining, in my own opinion.'' - MelStrachey
''It's got to be Eric. Eric is only 18, after all.'' - audreybrooke
''Some young men are VERY well endowed at that age already then into their twenties and so on. Its hard to say but I think we " nailed" our top five.'' - Persephone713


4. Phillip
Phillip might have a magical sword but that doesn't make it the longest. Maybe the sharpest and most powerful but probably not top 3 big. Though he made it way further than his Era companions which leads to question. Some pointed out that he's very much so the dominant one in the relationship, therefore in control when things go down. And let's not forget about his confidence.

''He's one of the most "alpha male" types in the entire lineup!'' -audreybrooke
''I agree with audreybrooke! Phillip is so alpha-male, its ridiculous! And, he's comfortable and not posturing'' - MelStrachey


3. Naveen
People said Naveen was trying to compensate something but I don't believe it. He just has that natural cock-iness to him that makes me think otherwise ;) by that I mean, he doesn't put on a mask like Flynn to hide anything. I'm positive Naveen has it big, his natural good looks aren't the only thing keeping the women around.

''Cocky guys are usually trying to compensate.. xP'' - NCISLuverjk93
''He's so trying to compensate.'' - MaidofOrleans
'' I was going by instinct. I've met several "players" in real life. They acted just like Naveen and Flynn. I'm pretty sure their member is the same size, because they have an "outsized ego" to compensate. They go around thinking that they are somehow a "prize" to women, and that women should just fall for their looks and masculinity. It's a turnoff for me.'' - wavesurf
''This is getting hard.............no pun intended'' - LupinPrincess


2. Beast
Obviously I'm talking about his human form, it's pretty clear that as a Beast, his man parts were gigantic and quadruple the size of Prince Charming's. Besides someone pointing out about his questionable frustrations, most agreed he was top placements materiel. His nose bridge is tall and he has the bodybuilder body type. Plus, he's gotta be named Beast for a reason, you get the feeling that he's packing some.

''He was so rude because he was angry of having it small.'' - Perromalo
''Because we see him more in his beastly form, and less as a human. But because of his girth, I'm sure he has one. He just doesn't scream "I'm masculine," like John does.'' - wavesurf
''The Beast looks like he stepped out of a Michelangelo painting. Unfortunately, this doesn't bode well for certain body parts. ;)'' - audreybrooke


1. John Smith
The John Smith rigging is still present, that's why I go by comments and look at that, he actually won a countdown for once! He deserved it, has anyone taken a look at John's hands??? And his solid square built, damn okay. People often compare him to Chris Hemsworth, who plays Thor and everyone knows he has a thunder hammer so why not John Smith? I've always wondered why John was so arrogant but now I think I know why. He has sex appeal and he's also been around the world experiencing different things. We also have more clues of how big he is because of the scene where he approaches the bush, not knowing Pocahontas was in there. You get to see that area popped out a bit. Come on, the animators had to draw some kind of bump but still leave it to the imagination.

even though I hate the guy I can't deny the amount of phallic symbols that his scenes have. - sarchasm





I know there has been a lot of drama going on around this silly countdown so I would like to thank everyone who supported this idea and kept participating regardless :)