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1. Go outside, and if you see someone, take the random person and make out with him/her, and say: "Yes! I finally got my dramatic kissing scene!"

2. Lay on your stomach in a puddle and scream: "I'm drowning, I'm drowning!"

3. In the pasanger seat of the car, roll your window down, stick your tongue out, soaking the driver: "I wonder why dogs only do this when its sunny out!" and laugh.

4. Make a farting noise, and say "Hear that thunder roar!"

5. When your outside, run around (reading lyrics) and scream words to Singing in the Rain.

6. Make someone laugh. Then look at them: "Gosh, your face is all wet. Suck it up, stop crying!"

7. Sit outside, and read an old book, and keep yelling "DAMN YOU, SKIES! WHY IS IT SO FUCKING WET HERE!" when your pages get soaked.

8. Gather all the family electronics, and lay them out on the grass on the curb, and let them get all wet.

9. When the family sees say: "I told you that (baby sibling/cousin/hated younng person) was evil!

10. Sit on the corner at the sewer, and hold out an empty can of soup with a sign on it "Poor, and Wet," and hope you don't get kidnapped.

11. Tell everyone around you that rain actually signifies the zombie apocalypse and that the term "acid rain" actually means rain that turns you into a zombie. Then put your hand outside the door, or window, and walk like a zombie. (Basically, start a fun/play zombie apocalypse.)

12. Collect all the neighborhood cats/felines and place them outdoors to go insane.

13. Place an empty inflatable pool anywhere outside that you can, and watch it fill up. Then place your younger sibling/a friend's younger sibling in it and tell them to go swimming.

14. For any cooking that requires water, place the bowl with all other necessary ingredients in it, let the water fill up, and make somebody nasty baking!

15. Go to the local pool, and bang on the doors because you want them to open, because it's so hot outside and you need to cool off in the pool.

Also, let me tell you that these are in no way ethical, or moral and performing the listed actions show a lacking in propriety and maturity. There's no reason to do any of these; they're just immature tactics to LAUGH at. Not attempt.
Have a nice day!
posted by pure-angel
Dost thou love life?
Then do not squander time,
for that is the stuff life is made of.
Benjamin Franklin

Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.
Helen Keller

Life is like a game of cards. The hand that is dealt you represents determinism; the way you play it is free will.
Jawaharal Nehru








Life is like the dice that, falling, still show a different face. So life, though it remains the same, is always presenting different aspects.
Alexis

Our life's a stage, a comedy: either learn to play and take it lightly, or bear its troubles patiently.
Palladas

The geat blessing of mankind are within us and...
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posted by Thecharliejay
100 Ways to Annoy People
1.Get to know a friends bookie and place bets for them. Insist on keeping half of any money they win.
2.Accuse people of "glue sniffing addictions" in public.
3.Call other people "Champ" or "Tiger.". Refer to yourself as "Coach."
4.Drum on every available surface.
5.Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
6.Staple papers together in the middle of the page.
7.Ask 1-800 operators for dates.
8.Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copy warnings.
9.Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.
10.Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
11.Insist on giving...
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posted by x-menobsessed26
For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt?

We find ourselves at a loss when someone says,

'You don't know Jack Schitt!'

Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.

Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt.

Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack.

In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.

Against her parents' objections, Deep...
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posted by ShiningsTar542
Neon lips, blue eyeshadow, shimmering glitter, and golden bronzers: This spring, some of the most dramatic looks we saw on the runways are making their way onto our faces. But not everything we dabble on pleases everyone. We had a hunch that some of our biggest beauty obsessions might be turn-offs for guys...so we went ahead asked. Prepare yourself: brutal honesty ensues.

1. Heavy foundation and powders:"The inch-thick powder is a huge turn-off," says Maxim senior editor Nick Leftley. "No guy wants to kiss a girl on the cheek and then find he¹s wearing foundation himself." A flaking face is...
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posted by shomill
M R snakes.
M A no snakes.
O S M R snakes.
CDBDI's?
O S! M R snakes!
AAAAAAAAAA!

-My dad told me this one years and years ago. I'd almost forgotten it until tonight. Here's another one:

Mairzy dotes and dozy dotes and liddlamszy divy.

-The answer: Mares eat oats and does eat oats and little lambs eat ivy.

And an old knock-knock joke:
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say banana again?

Hope you had fun!
posted by alismouha
My dear son...

I send you this letter,if it doesn't reach you,tell me so I can re-send it.

I'm writing this as slowly as I can,because I am aware that you can't read quickly.

I will send this to you with your brother,he is asleep now,so I'll put it in his pocket,if he forgets to hand it to you,reach in and take it.

The weather is really great here,it only rained a couple of times last week,the first time it lasted 4 days,and the second one it was only 3 days.

About the leather Jacket you wanted me to send to you,it was going to cost me a fortune to ship because its buttons were too heavy,so I cut...
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posted by darkkhorn19
It was around 12:30 and I was at the grocery, I was busy getting some apples when a teenage boy goes over to me and hands me a cold bottle of water and a magazine. I thanked him, but apon reading the magazine it was full of lies. It was trying to convert me to Christianity, so before I drank the water, I threw the ice-cold water in his face, dropped the magazine, and said "If your so-called "God" exsisted, why didn't he stop me from doing that?" The boy simply replied "Because your denying his love". Right away, I replied "Oh please, If there was a God, I bet you he'd rather prefer a good honest Athiest than a preacher on Televison going around lying about his healing powers". He was angered "And how do you know who God would prefer?!" If it was even possible at the time, I was calmer than before and answered. "The very same way the bible was made". I smiled warmly as I saw him stomp away with anger.
1. Ask him why he 'doesn't have such a cool scar?'

2. Laugh at him.

3. Wake him up by singing Beach Boys songs in his ear. 'Round, round, get around, I get around...'

4. Knit him things. Really hideous things.

5. Give him kangaroo-ears for a month.

6. Smile during Death Eater meetings and say you taught him everything he knows.

7. Chew bubblegum all the time. Should he address you, your only response will be a series of huge bubbles in quick succession, the last of which will burst everywhere and make a mess.

8. Dance the Funky Chicken.

9. Ask him when was the last time he took a bath.

10....
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posted by boomerlover
Yo Mama So Stupid I told her drinks were on the house...so she went and got a ladder...

Yo mama's so fat, the shadow of her butt weighs 50 pounds.

Yo mama so stupid when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, she went home and got 16 friends.

Yo mama so stupid when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon.

Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!

Yo mama so stupid she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

Yo mama so stupid she stole free bread.

Yo mama so skinny she hula hoops with a cheerio.

Yo mama so skinny she turned sideways and...
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added by Cyrusrocks
posted by karolinak1999
I'm saying this speech on he 4th of September 2013(unless the teacher forgets or something like that) I am aginst 2 boys....my chances are okay...


"Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen we are gathered here today to learn Irish, but we took some time off that to choose a new class leader.

For starters I would like to compliment my fellow rivals Atrio and Liam, for their good effort - Liam you even prepared a speech, very impressive

Now..I realise the privelage to have the honour torepresent your class, however I am confident that I will be a great candidate.

I'm taking part in this not only to add...
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posted by Canada24
1: (Pilot)
FAther: Son have you been reading Heresy?! (pumps shotgun) Unacceptable!
Son: (High Pitched Scream)

2:
Father: What did you do?!
Son: I made us eggs.
Father: ... WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?!?!
Son: Wha-
Father: WE ONLY EAT BREAD FOR FUCK SAKES!!

3:
Father: Son I'm getting milk
Son: Will you be back?!
Father: (opens front door) ... No
(Later that Evening, Father is still gone):
Son: I can't believe he's actually gone! (phone rings) Father?!
Voice: No this is your old coach
Son: Oh.. Uh hello
Voice: So, your back on the NBA
Son: Really? How-
Father: (literary teleports out of nowhere) YOUR BACK IN THE...
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added by MeiMisty
posted by josephlindquist
The various budget models that will continue to be used fall into categories 1) budget line items (traditional budgeting), 2) performance budgeting, 3) programming / programming budgeting (PPB), 4) zero budgeting (ZBB) and 5) location-based budgeting. In recent years, some companies have developed alternative budgeting systems (incremental budgets), including zero-based budgets (ZBB) and activity-based budgets (ABB).
Zero-based budgeting (ZBB) is an alternative to the traditional budgeting approach used by governments and non-profit organizations. Zero-based budgets, on the other hand, work...
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added by Kuro_Hyou666
A lot of people, including non-comic fans, think that Christopher Nolan's Batman films are well-made, high-class films. In fact, several versions of Batman, including the 60's show and 90's films, are treated as if they're inferior and not worth taking seriously.

However, I, whatsupbugs, am one of Batman's more obsessive and geeky fans and I'd like to propose a theory. It's a crazy theory, but I still believe in it. My theory is that the 1991 comedy film, Alyas Batman en Robin, is better than Christopher Nolan's highly-acclaimed trilogy.

You're probably already confused and you might think...
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added by MeiMisty
PART 1: (angry rant about the Controversy)

This is a movie I had no interest in seeing. I was worried having an entire film about Joker will kinda ruin the character.. But the fact the film is rated R does imply I'm probably wrong.

But after I saw Chris Stuckmann's spoiler review. There is a interesting thing he spoke about, which I myself wanna throw in my own 2 cents about.

Before this film was even released. There were 2 things that people were worried about. Sympathizing with Joker. And the violence on screen.

Firstly, Chris says this isn't even the most violent film he's seen. He actually...
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I’ve never played the first Gungrave game. Gungrave is a weird sort of property that came into existence as a video game first before getting adapted into a video game. Little did people know that it was actually based on a video game first and foremost before it was adapted into the strange anime that we see. Gungrave is a very smart and well made game about a man named Beyond the Grave who is brought back from the dead to exact revenge on his once best friend who betrayed him and took over the mafia with the help of aliens and works alongside an anime girl. But in Overdose, he works alongside...
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