HOW TO INSTALL SOFTWARE
1. Examine the software packaging until you find a little printed box that explains what kind of computer system you need to run the software. It should look something like this:
SYSTEM REQUIREMENTS
2386 PROCESSOR OR HIGHER
628.8 MEGAHERTZ MODEM
719.7 MB FREE DISK SPACE
3546 MB RAM
432323 MB ROM
05948737 MB RPM ANTILOCK BRAKING SYSTEM
NOTE: This software will not work on your computer.
2. Open the software packaging and remove the manual. This will contain detailed instructions on installing, operating, and troubleshooting the software. Throw it away.
3. Find the actual software, which should be in the form of either a 3.5-inch floppy diskette or a CD-ROM, located inside a sealed envelope that says:
LICENSING AGREEMENT:
By breaking this seal, the user hereinafter agrees to abide by all the terms and conditions of the following agreement that nobody ever reads, as well as the Geneva Convention and the U.N. Charter and the Secret Membership Oath of the Benevolent Protective Order of the Elks and such other terms and conditions, real and imaginary, as the Software Company shall deem necessary and appropriate, including the right to come to the user's home and examine the user's hard drive, as well as the user's underwear drawer if we feel like it, take it or leave it, until death do us part, one nation indivisible, by the dawn's early light,....finders keepers, losers weepers, thanks you've been a great crowd, and don't forget to tip your servers.
4. Hand the software to a child aged 3 through 12 and say, "(Name of child), please install this on my computer."
5. If you have no child age 3 through 12, insert the software in the appropriate drive, type "SETUP" and press the Enter key.
6. Turn the computer on, you idiot.
7. Once again type "SETUP" and press the Enter key.
8. You will hear grinding and whirring noises for awhile, after which the following message should appear on your screen:
The installation Program will now examine your system to see what would be the best way to render it inoperable. Is it OK with you? Choose one, and be honest:
+-------+ +--------+ | YES | | SURE | +-------+ +--------+
9. After you make your selection, you will hear grinding and whirring for a very long time while the installation program does God knows what in there. Some installation programs can actually alter molecular structures, so that when they're done, your computer has been transformed into an entirely new device, such as a food processor. At the very least, the installation program will create many new directories, sub-directories, sub-sub-directories, on your hard drive and fill them with thousands of mysterious files with names like "puree.exe," "fester.dat," and "doo.wha."
10. When the installation program is finished, your screen should display the following message:
CONGRATULATIONS The installation program cannot think of anything else to do to your computer and has grown bored. You may now attempt to run your software. If you experience any problems, electrical shocks, insomnia, shortness of breath, nasal discharge, or intestinal parasites, you should immediately *!@!$)$%@&*^)$*!#$_$.
11. At this point your computer system should become less functional than the federal government, refusing to respond even when struck with furniture.
12. Call the toll-free Technical Support Hotline number listed on the package and wait on the line for a representative, who will explain to you, in a clear, step-by-step manner, how to adopt a child aged 3 through 12.
1. Examine the software packaging until you find a little printed box that explains what kind of computer system you need to run the software. It should look something like this:
SYSTEM REQUIREMENTS
2386 PROCESSOR OR HIGHER
628.8 MEGAHERTZ MODEM
719.7 MB FREE DISK SPACE
3546 MB RAM
432323 MB ROM
05948737 MB RPM ANTILOCK BRAKING SYSTEM
NOTE: This software will not work on your computer.
2. Open the software packaging and remove the manual. This will contain detailed instructions on installing, operating, and troubleshooting the software. Throw it away.
3. Find the actual software, which should be in the form of either a 3.5-inch floppy diskette or a CD-ROM, located inside a sealed envelope that says:
LICENSING AGREEMENT:
By breaking this seal, the user hereinafter agrees to abide by all the terms and conditions of the following agreement that nobody ever reads, as well as the Geneva Convention and the U.N. Charter and the Secret Membership Oath of the Benevolent Protective Order of the Elks and such other terms and conditions, real and imaginary, as the Software Company shall deem necessary and appropriate, including the right to come to the user's home and examine the user's hard drive, as well as the user's underwear drawer if we feel like it, take it or leave it, until death do us part, one nation indivisible, by the dawn's early light,....finders keepers, losers weepers, thanks you've been a great crowd, and don't forget to tip your servers.
4. Hand the software to a child aged 3 through 12 and say, "(Name of child), please install this on my computer."
5. If you have no child age 3 through 12, insert the software in the appropriate drive, type "SETUP" and press the Enter key.
6. Turn the computer on, you idiot.
7. Once again type "SETUP" and press the Enter key.
8. You will hear grinding and whirring noises for awhile, after which the following message should appear on your screen:
The installation Program will now examine your system to see what would be the best way to render it inoperable. Is it OK with you? Choose one, and be honest:
+-------+ +--------+ | YES | | SURE | +-------+ +--------+
9. After you make your selection, you will hear grinding and whirring for a very long time while the installation program does God knows what in there. Some installation programs can actually alter molecular structures, so that when they're done, your computer has been transformed into an entirely new device, such as a food processor. At the very least, the installation program will create many new directories, sub-directories, sub-sub-directories, on your hard drive and fill them with thousands of mysterious files with names like "puree.exe," "fester.dat," and "doo.wha."
10. When the installation program is finished, your screen should display the following message:
CONGRATULATIONS The installation program cannot think of anything else to do to your computer and has grown bored. You may now attempt to run your software. If you experience any problems, electrical shocks, insomnia, shortness of breath, nasal discharge, or intestinal parasites, you should immediately *!@!$)$%@&*^)$*!#$_$.
11. At this point your computer system should become less functional than the federal government, refusing to respond even when struck with furniture.
12. Call the toll-free Technical Support Hotline number listed on the package and wait on the line for a representative, who will explain to you, in a clear, step-by-step manner, how to adopt a child aged 3 through 12.
Ok so here is a bunch of Random Moments i will be writting. All are true.
I was at my locker getting ready for after lunch and my firends stopped to talk. It was Joe, Ben, Jack, Lilly, and Shelly.
Joe: Sukki, we're Lilly's man firends (not all were guys but Lily, Shelly, and me.)
Me: LOL ... *thinks* HEY!
Lilly: *laughing* OMG you needed to think?
Jack: Wow Sukki. we didn't mean you. but that was funny.
Shelly: *laughing*
Hope you liked this ramdom moment!!!
p.s. real names not used!!!!
I was at my locker getting ready for after lunch and my firends stopped to talk. It was Joe, Ben, Jack, Lilly, and Shelly.
Joe: Sukki, we're Lilly's man firends (not all were guys but Lily, Shelly, and me.)
Me: LOL ... *thinks* HEY!
Lilly: *laughing* OMG you needed to think?
Jack: Wow Sukki. we didn't mean you. but that was funny.
Shelly: *laughing*
Hope you liked this ramdom moment!!!
p.s. real names not used!!!!
1 = 90% of girls dont watch family guy, robot chicken etc so don't talk about it much.
2 = tomboys will show more affection than girlie girls.
3. Some girls get frustrated when you interrupt their video game. This rarely happens to a gu texting a girl
4. Girls don't like it when you interrupt their convo with their friends. To them it's R.U.D.E
5. Don't tease a girl if she likes Twilight Harry Potter etc........it hurts their feelings.
6. Please, don't hit on every girl in the school if you still have a girlfriend do you know how much that annoys us???
7. Don't text a girl in the middle of the night. We like to get our sleep. Otherwise, she'll just keep you up for a hour.
8. Girls like the guy that likes her to be jealous. Shell usually plan it out overnight.
9. Girls just adore attention like fat kids adore chocolate cake.
10. A girl I'll call a guy cute not hot. Shell only call him ht around her girlfriends.
2 = tomboys will show more affection than girlie girls.
3. Some girls get frustrated when you interrupt their video game. This rarely happens to a gu texting a girl
4. Girls don't like it when you interrupt their convo with their friends. To them it's R.U.D.E
5. Don't tease a girl if she likes Twilight Harry Potter etc........it hurts their feelings.
6. Please, don't hit on every girl in the school if you still have a girlfriend do you know how much that annoys us???
7. Don't text a girl in the middle of the night. We like to get our sleep. Otherwise, she'll just keep you up for a hour.
8. Girls like the guy that likes her to be jealous. Shell usually plan it out overnight.
9. Girls just adore attention like fat kids adore chocolate cake.
10. A girl I'll call a guy cute not hot. Shell only call him ht around her girlfriends.
1.always let him talk to you about stuff he likes
2.always see what you have in common (if you do)
3.never wear make up around him let him see your true beauty
4.DON'T TELL HIM HOW YOU FEEL AROUND HIM UNTILL HE ASKS YOU OUT THIS IS A RULE!
5.ALWAYS ask questions about him like his favorite color, his favorite movie or his favorite t.v show
6.never ever talk about your ex boyfriend they hate it (i've had experience) trust me it isn't cool
7.Always wear your favorite clothes and some cute clothes
8.let him do all the hand holding and arm gestures don't do a thing( if u don't then that will make him think your interested)
9.talk about your favorite movies and songs
10.always make him happy no matter what mood he's in
thank you for reading i hope this helps :)
2.always see what you have in common (if you do)
3.never wear make up around him let him see your true beauty
4.DON'T TELL HIM HOW YOU FEEL AROUND HIM UNTILL HE ASKS YOU OUT THIS IS A RULE!
5.ALWAYS ask questions about him like his favorite color, his favorite movie or his favorite t.v show
6.never ever talk about your ex boyfriend they hate it (i've had experience) trust me it isn't cool
7.Always wear your favorite clothes and some cute clothes
8.let him do all the hand holding and arm gestures don't do a thing( if u don't then that will make him think your interested)
9.talk about your favorite movies and songs
10.always make him happy no matter what mood he's in
thank you for reading i hope this helps :)