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posted by Seanthehedgehog


Song: link
Blue lines fly along the screen, then the words appear
Blue lines fly along the screen, then the words appear

Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see!
Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see!


Jazz Band: *Playing music with a bass, and drums, and a piano*
People: *Walking into Chicago's Union Station*

July 20th, 1919

PRR Employees: *Cleaning passenger cars with soapy water*

SeanTheHedgehog Presents

The Broadway Limited

Based off of the 1941 movie of the same title.

Paul: *Walks towards a ticket booth* Hi, I'd like one ticket to Philadelphia on The Broadway Limited.
Salesman: Two dollars please.
Paul: *Gives the man two dollars*
Salesman: *Gives Paul his ticket* Enjoy.
Paul: Thank you.
William: *Slowly backing up a K4 Pacific to the Broadway Limited*
Sid: We should be okay on coal until we get into Ohio.
William: Excellent. How about the water?
Sid: The water tank is full.
William: Excellent.
Paul: *Shows the conductor his ticket*
Bill: *Examines the ticket* You're good to go.
Paul: Thanks. *Gets on board*

A lady was walking to another passenger car when she accidentally bumped into Paul. She is a busty blonde named Morgan.

Paul: Whoops, my bad.
Morgan: No, it was my fault.
Paul: *Looks at Morgan's purple dress* Impressive clothing.
Morgan: Thanks. You have nice threads as well.
Paul: I'm on my way to a business meeting.
Morgan: Where?
Paul: Philadelphia.
Morgan: I'm heading to New York City. Would you like to come with me to the observation car?
Paul: I'd like to check out my accommodations first. How long will you be in there?
Morgan: About two hours.
Paul: I'll join you in ten minutes.

They went their separate ways, but they started having feelings for each other. 112 other passengers were on board the train.

Bill: All aboard!
William: *Blows the whistle twice, and drives the train forward*

The K4 Pacific had 10 cars in it's consist. A baggage car, seven sleepers, a dining car, and the observation car. The train would be going all the way to New York City, scheduled to arrive in 20 hours.

Morgan was waiting in the observation car. She was enjoying the scenery rolling by as she looked out the window.

Paul: *Arrives*
Morgan: *Looks at Paul as he comes closer* Just in time.
Paul: For what?
Morgan: My favorite part of the trip. I rode on this train when it made it's very first eastbound run in 1912, and this is my favorite part of the scenery. Look at the boats on the water.
Paul: *Watching the boats as they cross a bridge* They do look nice.
Morgan: I love travelling. All I have to do now is go up in an airplane.
Paul: I don't have the stomach for that. I'd rather stay on the ground.

Fort Wayne, Indiana

A director for a play was not happy. One of his most popular actresses quit on him, and he needed someone for an upcoming play in Philadelphia. This director's name is Ivan Ivanski.

Ivan: *Pacing the floor as he waits in the train station* I need to find someone otherwise I'm doomed. My play is scheduled for next month, and I must find a replacement. That telegram I got from Ms. Schwartz was a phony. Perhaps I'll have more luck on the train. *Checks the clock* 5:30. The train should be here at 5:45. *Walks out onto the station platform*

There were a few women sitting on a bench to his right, but Ivan didn't seem pleased with their looks.

Ivan: Their hair is black. I need a blonde. *Sees a blonde on the other side of the tracks* Excuse me, miss!
Woman: *Looks at Ivan*
Ivan: Would you mind coming here for a second?
Woman: I can't cross the train tracks from here, that's illegal.
Ivan: It will just be a moment.
William: *Blowing the whistle as he approaches the station*
Woman: Goodbye sir. *Walks away*
Ivan: Drat. Why is the train always late when you need it to be early, or vice versa?
William: *Brings the train to a stop, and blows the whistle*
Ivan: *Gets on board the train*

Three passengers got off. Ivan looked at the conductor.

Ivan: Well, we're good to go, aren't we?
Bill: We're not supposed to leave until 5:49. We're waiting for more passengers.
Ivan: Well you're 15 minutes early. Surely if there were any other passengers who wanted to get on board, they would be waiting with me.
Bill: Rules are rules. *Walks out of the train*
Ivan: *Heads for his compartment*
Bill: *Walking on the platform, examining the station*
Paul: *Walking with Morgan*
Morgan: That was fun.
Paul: When they serve dinner, would you like to join me?
Morgan: Of course I would. *Kisses Paul*
Paul: See you again soon.

As the two headed into their compartments, Ivan noticed something.

Ivan: *Looks at Morgan* She's blonde, and has big bosoms. An attractive woman like that should be perfect for my play. I'll ask her later in the dining car. *Heads for his room*
Bill: *Checking his watch* Well, it's been ten minutes. *Heads back on the train* All aboard!!
Sid: Here we go.
William: *Blows the whistle twice, and pulls the train out of the station*

Next stop, Crestline Ohio.

As the train traveled through Indiana, the conductor talked to the passengers on the loudspeaker.

Bill: Attention passengers, our chefs are ready to prepare dinner if you are hungry. All items on the menu are ten cents, or less. The dining car will be closed at 8 PM. We should arrived at Crestline Ohio by 8:45. In the meantime, enjoy the food, and enjoy the scenery.

Only half of the passengers went into the dining car immediately after hearing the announcement. The other half decided to wait. Among the first half was Morgan, accompanied by her new love interest, Paul. Little did they know that trouble would be coming their way.

Paul: *Holding Morgan's hand as they walk to the dining car*
Ivan: *Walks out of his compartment, and quietly follows the pair*

Fifteen minutes later, Paul & Morgan were sitting down at a table, their food just arriving. Paul ordered a hamburger with lettuce, and pickles. Morgan ordered a steak with A1 sauce.

Morgan: Tell me about yourself.
Paul: Well, I started work for Oldsmobile in 1909. I'm a designer, and I've made some pretty successful cars over the years. I fought for a few months in The Great War in 1917, and when I came back, I continued my work for the car company. This business meeting I'm going to is to focus on more designs to make cars more reliable. What about you? What do you do?
Morgan: I live in Chicago, and work as a math teacher. I'm visiting some family members in New York City.
Paul: What do you do in the summer?
Morgan: I deliver mail. While working as a teacher, I only do it on the weekends, but now that I have more time off, I can work more hours.
Paul: I wonder if you deliver my mail. I too live in Chicago.
Morgan: What's your address?
Paul: 428 Washington Boulevard in Oak Park.
Morgan: I thought you'd be closer. I'm on West 13th Street, house 41.
Paul: I could move into your place if you want to live together.
Morgan: *Smiling as she blushes* I think that's a good idea.

Nearby, Ivan was watching while eating a salad.

Ivan: She definitely has a good voice. Once she's done eating with that man, I will ask her to be in my play.
Paul: *Yawns* I'm feeling kinda tired. I'm gonna take a nap once I finish this burger.
Morgan: Why don't you stop by my room after your nap?
Paul: I'll probably be there in about an hour. I'll knock three times.
Ivan: Three times. *Chuckles*
Waiter: *Walking towards Ivan*
Ivan: *Sees the waiter, and hides his smile by drinking his glass of water*
Waiter: Do you want anything else sir?
Ivan: No thanks.

Morgan was reading a book while waiting for Paul. She heard three knocks on her door.

Morgan: Come in.
Ivan: *Enters her compartment* With pleasure.
Morgan: Wait a minute, you're not Paul.
Ivan: I'm not, but I've seen you talking to him, and quite frankly, I think you're perfect for my play.
Morgan: What kind of play?
Ivan: It's a drama called The Scarlet Lady. I've been given good comments by many critics who got a sneak peak at my script. There's just one thing I need to test you with.
Morgan: And that is?

In Paul's compartment, he was asleep. His nap lasted for half an hour when suddenly...

Morgan: *Screaming*
Paul: *Wakes up, and runs out of his compartment*
Ivan: *Pushing Morgan into a wall, touching her big breasts*
Morgan: Stop this at once!
Ivan: Do you want to be in the play or not?
Morgan: I'll call the conductor, and get you kicked off this train!
Paul: *Moves the door handle, but the door is locked* Morgan, it's Paul. Are you alright in there?
Morgan: Please get the conductor right now!!
Bill: *Arrives* What's all this?
Paul: I just heard her screaming. I don't know what's going on in there.
Bill: *Unlocks Morgan's door*

Once the door open, they saw Ivan harassing Morgan.

Ivan: *Still has his right hand on Morgan's rack* Oh, hello gentlemen.
Bill: Sexual harassment is a very serious crime.
Ivan: Oh fiddlesticks.
Bill: You're coming with me. *Escorts Ivan out of the compartment*
Ivan: What are you going to do to me?
Bill: When we reach Crestline, you're going to jail.

Six officers were waiting for Ivan once the train made it's station stop. Morgan watched with relief as Ivan was arrested.

Morgan: *Puts her arm around Paul's neck* Thanks for your help.
Paul: A real man knows how to be nice to a lady.
Morgan: *Gets her lips closer to Paul's* In that case, you're the manliest man I've ever met. *Kisses him*
Paul: *Hugs Morgan as he kisses her*
Morgan: You can touch my body as many times as you'd like.
Paul: Let me close the blinds first. *Closes the blinds*

With their privacy, Morgan and Paul had a frisky night, as the moon went higher, and the sky turned darker.

Pittsburgh, 12:15 AM

The Broadway Limited was making another station stop, but there was a problem.

Sid: Let's get some coal.
William: *Watches someone walk towards the cab* Monohan, what's happening?
Mike: We're short on coal. Management wants you to put the K4 in a siding, and let 7002 pull the train the rest of the way to Penn Station.
Sid: The Atlantic?
Mike: We made some upgrades. We want to see how she handles 10 cars.
Sid: She's gonna slip non-stop.
William: I'm willing to give it a try. Go uncouple the engine.
Mike: I got it. *Walks to the coupler*
Sid: *Nervously shakes as he looks at two more men in the cab of 7002* Are they trying to make us late?
Mike: *Uncouples the K4 from the Broadway Limited* You're good!
William: I don't know, but keep your hopes up. *Moves the engine into a siding*

Paul was still in bed with Morgan. They woke up to see the K4 be switched with 7002.

Morgan: I wonder why they're switching engines.
Paul: That's a good question.

As Sid and William walked back to the train, the two men got 7002 coupled up.

Workmen: *Walking out of the cab* You're all set chief.
Mike: *Walks with the men to the K4*
William: How are we doing on time Bill?
Bill: We're seven minutes ahead of schedule.
Sid: I wonder when we'll see the Westbound Broadway Limited.
William: *Climbs into 7002's cab with Sid* Maybe when we get closer to Altoona.
Bill: Whenever you're ready gentlemen. *Walks back to the train*
Sid: *Sighs* Well, here goes nothing.
William: *Blows the whistle twice, and rings the bell as he gently pulls the throttle*
Sid: *Surprised* Hey! We're actually going forward.

The engine slipped fiercely, but William quickly got the wheels under control.

William: *Increasing speed* Luckily we're going downhill, and from there, the rest of the trip is on flat ground.
Sid: What about the tunnel to Penn Station?
William: We'll probably have fewer passengers. We can drop off one car in the yards.

After leaving Pittsburgh, they saw the Westbound Broadway Limited.

William: That was sooner than I expected.
Sid: They're early as well. By about five minutes.
Westbound Engineer: What the hell are they using an Atlantic for?
Westbound Fireman: Coal shortage?
Westbound Engineer: That's right, I forgot. Lucky for us we got a full tender before leaving Altoona.

Two hours later, the train entered Altoona. Before approaching the station, they had to go through Horseshoe Curve.

William: My favorite part of the trip. *Applies the brakes*
Sid: *Watching the scenery* If only we came here during the day. It would look nicer.
William: *Slowly releases the brakes* Keep it at 20, and we'll be safe.

Philadelphia, the Headquarters for the Pennsylvania Railroad. Despite having a weaker engine, the Broadway Limited was still early as it approached Broad Street Station at 7 AM.

William: *Stops the train at the station* Nine minutes early. No wheel slip, and no delays.
Sid: I'm surprised we've managed to stay ahead of schedule. That gradient into Penn Station still worries me.
William: Relax. Everything will be okay.
Paul: *Sleeping with Morgan in her room*
Bill: *Knocks on the door*
Paul: *Wakes up*
Bill: We're at Philadelphia, anyone getting off for Philadelphia?
Paul: Yes. *Gets out of bed*
Morgan: *Gets up, revealing her big breasts*
Paul: *Blushing as he stares at Morgan* I wrote my number down on a piece of paper for you. When you get back to Chicago from New York, call me and we can hang out.
Morgan: Thank you Paul. I had a wonderful time with you.
Paul: *Puts his clothes on, then gets out of the room*

A few minutes later, Morgan saw Paul walk on the platform. She was still naked, making the man blush even more, but he couldn't stop himself from smiling.

Paul: I'm gonna have a great future with that lady.
Bill: All aboard!
William: *Rings the bell as he moves the train forward*
Morgan: *Putting her clothes on*
Bill: *Talking on the loudspeaker* Attention passengers, breakfast will be served until 8 AM. If you're hungry, please go to the dining car.

Morgan was starting to feel sad as she went to the dining car, thinking about the wonderful dinner she had with Paul.

Sid: *Checking his watch, which says 7:08* We're scheduled to arrive at Penn Station by 8:30.
William: We'll make it. Don't worry.

As the Broadway Limited entered New Jersey. There was only one more station stop before reaching Penn Station. Another Penn Station, in Newark. After that station stop, Sid's paranoia kicked in.

Sid: I still don't think we can make it up the grade into the station.
William: We'll be okay. I will be honest, I would prefer to use the electric engines, but the 3rd rail system is down.
Sid: I hope they finish with the catenaries. I'd like to see more electric engines.
William: *Sees the entrance to the tunnel* Here we go. We should have enough PSI, and we will make the grade if we go up to 70 at the bottom of this slope.

The train entered the tunnel, and went down a hill. Sid watched the speedometer as he sweat.

William: *Closes the throttle* Save the energy for when we really need it.
Sid: *Nods*
William: *Feels the train reach the bottom of the hill* We're gonna start climbing soon. *Opens the throttle* I kept telling you we'd make it.
Sid: Those upgrades payed off.

The train went upgrade, but the speed only decreased from 70 to 65.

William: I do have to apply the brakes so we can stop at the platform. *Closes the throttle*
Sid: You sure we need it? We are going uphill.
William: *Applies the brakes* We have to slow down to 30 before we reach the top. I'm not getting in trouble for exceeding the speed limit.
Sid: *Watching the train slow down to 45*
William: *Releases the brakes* There we go. Now we can let gravity do the work for us. *Waits for the train to slow down to 30, and opens the throttle*

They were getting closer to the top, but then the wheels began to slip, decreasing the speed even more.

William: *Pushes the throttle, but continues spinning the wheels*
Sid: You're letting her slip?!
William: No choice! We close the throttle, and we'll never make it.

7002 continued to slip as she pulled the train to the top. As she made it to the top of the grade, the train was only at 3 miles an hour. The wheels spun faster as the train continued to crawl into the station.

William: *Pours sand onto the rails, and pushes the throttle some more*
Sid: *Watches the wheels stop slipping as the train increases speed* I thought one of the side rods would fall off.
William: Not on this Atlantic. She's got the power, and the speed.
Morgan: *Watching the train stop at Penn Station*
Bill: *Watching passengers get off* Have a nice day. Thank you for riding the Broadway Limited.
Morgan: *Gets off the train, and sees her family* Mom, Dad! *Runs towards them, and hugs her*
Mom: How was your trip?
Morgan: Great. I met this wonderful man, and he lives in Chicago by my house.

Morgan told her parents all about Paul, and how she wanted to marry him. They had a wonderful life together, and lived happily together for the rest of their lives.

The Broadway Limited was the most successful passenger train operated by the Pennsylvania Railroad. While most railroads either downgraded, or removed their express trains during the latter years of the 20th century thanks to airlines, the Pennsy did no such thing to their beloved Broadway.

The Pennsylvania Railroad merged with the New York Central in 1968 to form Penn Central, and they operated the Broadway Limited for another three years before handing the train over to Amtrak, which ran the train until 1995.

While the Broadway Limited may not be around anymore, most railfans wish it still was.

The End

SeanTheHedgehog Productions. Copyright, 2019

Song: link
Blue lines fly along the screen, then the words appear
Blue lines fly along the screen, then the words appear
added by Gretulee
added by 3xZ
added by mina27
added by TimberHumphrey
video
DEMENTED POEMS

Roses are crap
Violets are shit
Sit on my face
And wiggle a bit

Roses are stupid
Violets are silly
Grease up your flaps
Cuz here comes my willy

Roses are awful
Violets are the pits
Lift up your shirt
And show me your tits

Roses make me laugh
Violets make me titter
You're a dirty bitch
And you love it up the shitter

Roses are straight
Violets are twisted
Bend over love
You're about to get fisted

Roses are crap
Violets are wanky
Oooh I've just cum
Pass me a hanky

Roses are red
It's elementary
Let's ring your best friend
And try double entry

Roses are shit
Violets are crap
Show me your clit
And I'll cum in your lap

Roses are red
Skidmarks are brown
Give me a blow job
And swallow it down

Roses are groovy
Violets are funky
I'm thinking of you
And spanking my monkey
1. At the movies: When you meet acquaintances/ friends.. .
Stupid Question:-
Hey, what are you doing here?
Answer:-
Dont u know, I sell tickets in black over here..

2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet…
Stupid Question:-
Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer:-
No, not at all, I’m on local anesthesia.. …why don’t you try again.

3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask…
Stupid Question:-
Why, why him, of all people.
Answer:-
Why? Would it rather have been you?

4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter
Stupid Question:-
Is ! the “Butter Paneer Masala”...
continue reading...
added by adultswimperson
Source: Google
I found this hilarious article on pcworld.com
Don't know who the author is, but he's funny.

1. Backward Thinking
"I sold my only car to help pay for gas money, but now gas has come down in price. How do I get my car back?"
I tried to contact this guy, but it turns out that he also sold his computer to help pay for his Internet connection.

2. It's Caps Lock--Capisce?
"HOW DO I TURN OFF CAPSLOCK? I ACCIDENTALLY TURNED IT ON YESTERDAY AND I DONT KNOW HOW TO TURN IT BACK OFF."
Note to self: Register howtoturnoffcapslock.com; make millions.

3. Credit Crunch
"I wanted to see if my computer would read my...
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posted by Sheetal1256
Here are some funny New Year's resolutions for 2012...
I will think of a password other than "password" or "hello".

I will not tell the same story at every get together.

I won't worry so much.

I will cut my hair.

I will grow my hair.

I will stop considering other people's feelings when they so obviously don't consider mine - if that unwashed fellow sits next to me again, I'll tell him he stinks!

I will be more imaginative.

I will not bore my boss by with the same excuse for taking leaves. I will think of some more excuses.

I will do less laundry and use more deodorant.

I will avoid taking a bath whenever...
continue reading...
Give my regards to broadway. o-O

*Insert epic theme song here*

Alright, I'm pretty sure we all know who Spongebob is. The show was a funny, crazy, and inventive kids show that pretty much EVERYBODY ALIVE has at least heard of.

The show had memorable characters, funny comedy that everyone can enjoy, and.......

CHOCOLAAAAAAAAAATEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!! ^____^

But one of my favorite parts of the show was the songs, and today we're counting down the best of them!

BECAUSE NOBODY CAN SING BETTER THAN A TALKING SPONGE. ;D

#10. Striped Sweater!

link

Shots fired.

Seriously, this is EASILY the stupidest song on this...
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added by Juilet1234
posted by Usui--takumi
Why was Tigger looking in the bowl??
He was trying to find pooh.
There were three men on an airplane, one of them decides to bring a baby.There is a crash and only three parachutes so they leave the baby behind. When they get to the bottom they hear screaming. They find the baby on the ground. The dad of the baby says, '' How did you get down here? ''. The baby replies, '' Me not dumb, me not silly, me hold on to daddy's willy!''
What's black and white, black and white, black and white?
A penguin rolling down a hill.
Yo momma so fat, when she jumps her own boobs slap her.
Yo momma so dumb AND fat,...
continue reading...
posted by Shelly_McShelly
Welcome to The Weakest Link.

Here is a very simple little test comprised of four questions to determine the level of your intellect. Your replies must be spontaneous and immediate, with no deliberating or wasting time.

And NO CHEATING. On your mark, set....GO!!!

1: You are competing in a race, and overtake the runner in second place.
In which position are you now?

Answer:

If you answered that you're now coming first then you're completely wrong. You overtook the second runner and took their place, therefore you're coming second.

For the next question try not to be so dumb.

2 : If you overtake the last...
continue reading...
posted by Shelly_McShelly
a boy was asked by his teacher to pick some spelling words for his homework. the boy goes home and asks his mum "what's a good spelling word?" and the mother replies " Shutup, i'm busy", so he writes it down.
he goes to his dad and asks "whats a good spelling word?" and the dad replies "da na na na Batman!" so he writes it down.
next he goes to his older sister and asks "whats a good spelling word?" and she replies "yeah yeah" so the boy writes it down.
he goes to his younger sister and asks "whats a good spelling word?" and she replies "lollipop, lollipop" so he writes it down.
Finally he goes...
continue reading...
posted by invadercalliope
•Everyone in this place is unhappy. And since they're unhappy, they're probably looking for someone worse off than they are.
•You know who isn't human? You know who isn't human?! PEOPLE LIKE YOU!
•Up to this day, I've never killed a single human.
•You will never see me again.
•I was going to let you go; after all, there aren't many of us out there, but you're just such a pain in the ass.
•Please forget about everything.
•Are you enjoying this?
Kouta: "I thought we were friends."

Lucy: "We are friends, that's why you're still alive."

Kouta: "You killed my father, Kanae.. and my sister Kanae... For that I will never forgive you."
Lucy: "All this time, I've lived in hope of telling you how sorry I am, I've fought armies, just to have this chance, but now, there's nothing I can say that's good enough."

Kurama: "Regret is the domain of those who have earned the right to look back on the past. All I have is shame."
The End
What's your personality type?

Picks/Polls
link, link, link, link, link, link, link, link, link, link
link

(E) Extrovert
-Tend to focus on the outer world of people and the external environment
-Like variety and action
-Often impatient with long, slow jobs
-Are interested in the activities of their work and in how other people do it
-Often act quickly, sometimes without thinking
-Develop ideas by discussion
-Like to learn new task by talking it through with someone
-Need to experience the world in order to understand it and thus tend to like action

(I) Introverts
-Focus more on their own inner world,...
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Okay so if you live on the eastcoast u are probably getting used to the snow..........so even if u aren't, everybody has the problem of having nothing to do when it snows but sled. So these are a few of the things that i enjoy to do.........hehe!

1. Fill balloons with water. Then leave them outside overnight.............yeah i'm this stupid. The next day, cut the balloons off and you got.........AN ICE BALL!! (i usually make like 15) Then use them to pay dodgeball. This is especially fun to do in deep snow, when you can barely move as it is. Technically, u could use them to do various things,...
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… So YIIK is a game



Okay, so a lot of you, or hell, all of you are probably asking, “Nik, what the fuck are you doing this time?” All two of you that read these will know that I have talked about this game almost a year ago on the short lived In-Indie subseries I do, where I mildly praised the game despite how it is. This was around when the game was relatively new and didn’t have much attention aside from the mixed reviews that it had gotten. That is, until a few months later when so much came out about this game. It wasn’t long before YIIK: A Postmodern RPG became pretty much...
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Shin Megami Tensei III: Nocturne, known in other regions as Shin Megami Tensei: Lucifer’s Call, is the “third” game in the SMT franchise. And I say third with quotes because any SMT fans will tell you that’s bullshit. The third in the mainline franchise, yes, but SMT has had several spin offs and franchises all from the Shin Megami Tensei titles alone. Hell, one of them that you may know, and the reason why you are reading this article right now to yell at me over, is the Persona franchise. Persona is part of the same series, but vastly different. Persona is a game that is about the...
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added by zanhar1