So I have a vague memory of this game. I remember seeing this game in a Game Informer magazine (Yeah, remember fucking gaming magazines) when I was in elementary school. Alongside games like Resident Evil Revelations, or I think, I don’t remember the exact issue, I saw this game on the side and how the reviewer thought it was the most boring game imaginable. So I avoided it for years up until now… and who boy, gaming journalism may be a joke now, but that guy was totally right. The game as developed by Vectorcell, known best for Jesus Christ Superstar on the IOS. I feel like I’m gonna need Jesus after this shit. So let us get into what many consider the worst horror game ever made, which is debatable considering Silent Hill Homecoming exists



So first off the title, Amy… awful. Anyway, the game starts with our character on a train with some really ugly character models. This was on the 360 in 2012 and they look like 2006. For comparison’s sake, Far Cry 3, Journey, Spec Ops: The Line, Sleeping Dogs and Gravity Rush came out that year. So our character is named Lana and she is travelling to the city with Amy, a little who doesn’t speak and seems to have some secret abilities. It’s around Christmas time and you have to get to a friend and this is the only game thus far that is even remotely around the Christmas season. Now it really is a Merry freakin’ Christmas. Anyway, the train crashes and you are attacked by… zombies? And we finally jump into the game. And I can finally talk about horror after being in hibernation for so long. So you know what makes things scary? Subtlety. You know what’s not subtle? Insanely loud music that is blowing out my eardrums. Maybe don’t do that in a horror game. The controls are also a bit clunky, which isn’t too bad, especially if you are a horror enthusiast. So you get a stick to defend yourself from the not-zombies. Crack them in the head once and they die and fizzle into the floor. I fail to see how these weak zombies could derail an entire train. So far, it’s nothing too awful. Generic as can be, but not a terrible game… yet. A friendly hobo gives me a future keycard that shoots lasers out. I genuinely have no clue what the setting is. You have all these futuristic tablets and keycards and yet everything in the subway is gross and dated. Is it like a Detroit: Become Human thing or something?
After some bland puzzles and box pulling, we are finally reunited with Amy. She seems to be able to do things on her own, so that’s decent A.I. so far. But soo nI start running into enemies and dodging doesn’t seem to work. Sometimes you dodge, and other times, they take a swing at you. It’s better to just keep wailing on them with your stick. So we get to chapter 2 and Amy ran off after hobo gets shot. Why does she just run off? Because she’s a child in a video game. If they aren’t making your life worse, then they aren’t there. Sounds like kids in real life (HEY-OH). And it is around this part where I start to realize the problems. The game is all about stealth… and it’s bad. Even when you could easily take on the enemies, the game demands that you sneak passed them. Fail to do so, and you fail. And Amy is such a bad character to have around. Not only is it a stealth sequence, but it’s also an escort mission. Think of the escort missions from Metal Gear Solid 2 and 3, only a million times worse because your partner doesn’t listen when you call them and not having them near you means certain death. Oh, and you gotta solve puzzles, and enemies are still around and if you die, you gotta do the entire section again with the puzzle reset. This genuinely makes me miss Dark Tomorrow, at least when you die in that game, everything stays the same. I gave up eventually because it was just a pain. But hey, at least I have a reason to talk now, otherwise this would just be a boring and basic okay kind of game.
Amy was hated by every single critic ever, from video game online reviewers. Everyone tore this game apart and I can easily see why. At best, it’s a generic horror game with some good atmosphere and not much else. At worst, it’s one of the most broken and frustrating stealth escort games I’ve ever played. You want a fun stealth horror game, play Alien: Isolation, and for a good escort horror, Resident Evil 4. Do not play Amy, please. It is not worth your time or money. Every critic back in 2012 said that and I’m here to tell you the exact same thing.