I just never cared anymore. Not about anything. For some reason, I just let everything alone. Nothing mattered to me anymore. Nothing. The things that had made me happy previously had now just made me even more…dull. Maybe all the things he did to me made me like this. Trevor never really was good to anyone, not even any girlfriends he had. He never showed me that he cared, he was always cold, and he always… hurt me.
Or maybe my mother’s drinking habits. She was always at the bar, and when she wasn’t, she had a different bottle in her hand every minute or so. I was surprised she hadn’t died of alcohol poisoning yet. She ignored me unless it was to tell me how stupid I was, how fat I was. I wasn’t even fat. Actually, I guess I could be considered anorexic. My ribs were easy to spot, even if I did eat like a pig. Maybe that’s why she said I was fat. She couldn’t really see physical appearances very well. She was blind to things like that, but she could always see me eat.
Or maybe it was the fact that my father left. He had run off when I was seven for no reason, and I remember my mother saying that he had run off with another woman. I didn’t really understand what she’d meant at the time, but now that I looked back on it, I could perfectly see why she would say that. If she had said that now, however, I wouldn’t even think twice about it, but she had said that before she had even started drinking any. I wasn’t even sure if she remembered my dad anymore. She probably didn’t. She constantly forgot that I even existed, even if I was right next to her.
Or maybe it was my lack of self confidence, or the way I saw things in life, or how I felt unneeded, unloved, or how I couldn’t distribute my thoughts at all well, or how I felt close to death all the time, or maybe the fact that our apartment was too small for me, my mom, and my older brother who just lost his custody battle with his ex-wife for his home and twins. Maybe it was everything.
Maybe I was looking too hard into my depression.
Maybe, it all just needed to stop.
That was it, it needed to end. I opened up my small bedroom window; for once my small size came in handy for something useful. I didn’t jump, that’d be fatal. I searched for a nearby clothesline, and luckily there was my neighbors’ just in arm’s reach. I grabbed hold of it. Once again, my small size proved useful. I pulled my self over to a nearby awning, which was low to the ground and right below me. I let go of the clothesline and fell onto the awning and bounced once. Again my small size was useful. I climbed down and walked in the direction of the bus stop and immediately wished I had brought some clothing. Or some money, but I didn’t really have any.
The bus pulled up almost immediately. It was rather empty, which was no surprise considering the time of night. I took a seat on the back to enjoy what little solitude I could. I didn’t know where I was going, I didn’t know how I’d survive, I didn’t know who I’d meet, but I didn’t care. I was free, and that was all I cared about.
Or maybe my mother’s drinking habits. She was always at the bar, and when she wasn’t, she had a different bottle in her hand every minute or so. I was surprised she hadn’t died of alcohol poisoning yet. She ignored me unless it was to tell me how stupid I was, how fat I was. I wasn’t even fat. Actually, I guess I could be considered anorexic. My ribs were easy to spot, even if I did eat like a pig. Maybe that’s why she said I was fat. She couldn’t really see physical appearances very well. She was blind to things like that, but she could always see me eat.
Or maybe it was the fact that my father left. He had run off when I was seven for no reason, and I remember my mother saying that he had run off with another woman. I didn’t really understand what she’d meant at the time, but now that I looked back on it, I could perfectly see why she would say that. If she had said that now, however, I wouldn’t even think twice about it, but she had said that before she had even started drinking any. I wasn’t even sure if she remembered my dad anymore. She probably didn’t. She constantly forgot that I even existed, even if I was right next to her.
Or maybe it was my lack of self confidence, or the way I saw things in life, or how I felt unneeded, unloved, or how I couldn’t distribute my thoughts at all well, or how I felt close to death all the time, or maybe the fact that our apartment was too small for me, my mom, and my older brother who just lost his custody battle with his ex-wife for his home and twins. Maybe it was everything.
Maybe I was looking too hard into my depression.
Maybe, it all just needed to stop.
That was it, it needed to end. I opened up my small bedroom window; for once my small size came in handy for something useful. I didn’t jump, that’d be fatal. I searched for a nearby clothesline, and luckily there was my neighbors’ just in arm’s reach. I grabbed hold of it. Once again, my small size proved useful. I pulled my self over to a nearby awning, which was low to the ground and right below me. I let go of the clothesline and fell onto the awning and bounced once. Again my small size was useful. I climbed down and walked in the direction of the bus stop and immediately wished I had brought some clothing. Or some money, but I didn’t really have any.
The bus pulled up almost immediately. It was rather empty, which was no surprise considering the time of night. I took a seat on the back to enjoy what little solitude I could. I didn’t know where I was going, I didn’t know how I’d survive, I didn’t know who I’d meet, but I didn’t care. I was free, and that was all I cared about.
I believe I can fly
Take to the sky
Be all that I’m going to be
See all that I’m going to see
You can’t hold me back
With me, there’s nothing to lack
So take a seat
Don’t miss a beat
And watch us fly
Right on by
In a jet or a plane
There’s no way that we’re sane
So sit on back
Try not to hack
Enjoy the view
Don’t miss your Que
To start on flying
Without dying
‘Cause we believe we can fly
As we take to the sky
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
many times i think we feel the weight of the world is on our shoulders, but i know that there are times when you can feel as light as a feather and as though you can fly and take on the whole world. i wrote this in one of those moods and hope you liked it.
Take to the sky
Be all that I’m going to be
See all that I’m going to see
You can’t hold me back
With me, there’s nothing to lack
So take a seat
Don’t miss a beat
And watch us fly
Right on by
In a jet or a plane
There’s no way that we’re sane
So sit on back
Try not to hack
Enjoy the view
Don’t miss your Que
To start on flying
Without dying
‘Cause we believe we can fly
As we take to the sky
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
many times i think we feel the weight of the world is on our shoulders, but i know that there are times when you can feel as light as a feather and as though you can fly and take on the whole world. i wrote this in one of those moods and hope you liked it.
Diem Mirabilis
Morning:
for Morning is made
of mysteries and uncertainties
the hopes of beginnings
the risks of unknowns
the potential for greatness
or failure
Midday:
for Midday is the height
of the glory of the sun
the climax of twenty-four hours
the brightness that blinds and clarifies
the answers once hidden
now unveiled
Sunset:
for Sunset arrives
with the final shift of the sky
the afterglow of the triumph
the sweetness of the last drop
the closing chapter of a story
and the beginning...
of a new one.
This is a small poem I wrote a while back.I hope you like it, please tell me what you think
Thank you
-Aurora
The Wind is cold against her skin
Numbing her body perfectly,
Erasing the pain she knew all to well
Escaping her problems if only for a moment
The chill of the breeze whispering to her
"Just do it" it taunted, "You know you want to"
Each time, the voice got louder
Beckoning her to let go, end it all
Was it worth it
Some would say no
But to her it was everything
Yet the voices called to her
"Let go, Let got, ... Let Go"
Thank you
-Aurora
The Wind is cold against her skin
Numbing her body perfectly,
Erasing the pain she knew all to well
Escaping her problems if only for a moment
The chill of the breeze whispering to her
"Just do it" it taunted, "You know you want to"
Each time, the voice got louder
Beckoning her to let go, end it all
Was it worth it
Some would say no
But to her it was everything
Yet the voices called to her
"Let go, Let got, ... Let Go"