May 24th
I haven't been able to write the past 2 days, the voice is driving me crazy, LITERALLY. Somtimes I'll wake up in the middle of the night and will find myself holding another knife or gun and padding up the stairs to the bedrooms. After last night when I woke up holding a gun my hand on my mother's bedroom door, I saw Sasha staring at me wide eyed, from her bedroom door and I dropped the gun. She looked terrified and her breathing was hard, I ran over to her where she shied away the fear of me in her eyes made tears well up in mine. "Sasha, baby come here." I held my arms out to her and I guess it was somthing in my eyes because she dashed up to me and hugged me close. "You wouldn't would you?" her voice was pricked with yet more fear and I whispered. "Sasha I promise I would never hurt you, never, or mom okay?" She hugged me even closer "You promise?" And I filled myself with determination "I promise sweetie I would never hurt you, never." and she refused to let go of me so I carried her into her room and we both fell asleep...

May 25th
I haven't slept at all. After the night of May 24th and the promise I made Sasha, I refuse to let myself sleep.
On the other side of things Sasha hasn't said a word about that Night, which I'm glad of, she even dragged me down to the lake where she had set up two painting canvases. She knows I love more then anything to paint. We both sat there painting away, I looked out onto the lake and used my shades of blue and green and purple soon I had a perfect picture, as I began to zone out, into one of those zones where you don't realize what your doing, I blinked and suddenly was blending shades of red into the water, blood. I quickly looked over to make sure Sasha hadn't seen and splashes my blues and greens back over it and set the brushes down. I was so thankful when mothers voice called us for dinner.