Penguins of Madagascar Club
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I was sitting on a bench in the park. I was doing nothing but looking around me. Then, Officer X comes by.
Officer X: Hey you!
Me: Oh no, not you again.
Officer X: You know, you and your penguin friends still didn't finish me off!
Me: Excuse me? I think I finished you off in our last fight!
Officer X: Well, you fellas better watch your backs. I'll be on you like sweet and sour sauce on chicken!
Me: (thoughts) Don't harm him, don't harm him. If the penguins can deal with him, I can, too.
Officer X: Oh, what's wrong? Afraid to take me on? Giving up because those penguins aren't around? (laughing)
Me: (growls, punches Officer X in the stomach, kicks him in the back, grabs him by the neck collar, and flings him in the lake) Satisfied? (seeing surprised looks on the faces of some people and running away)
Later
At the HQ
S: That kick's becoming very powerful, David.
K: Yea, nice work.
David: Thanks guys. Oh, Dad, do you know where Mom is?
K: I haven't seen her since she went to take her walk in the park, David.
Mastique: You don't think something happened, do you?
K: Oh, Mastique, it's not like she went to Hoboken.
Mastique: (phone rings and she answers) Hello? What? Why? Alright, I'll tell him. (hangs up)
K: Was that Monique?
Mastique: Yes, she said to turn on the news and hurry. She sounded really upset. (Rico turns on the news)
Chuck Charles: Apparently, a teenager is said to have attacked a New York resident and flung him in the lake. Sir, if the attacker is watching, do you have a message?
Officer X: Yes. This isn't over, punk! I will get you and your little friends, too!
S: Woah! Officer X really had what was coming to him!
P: Sounds like that attacker must've been Monique.
K: Mastique, let me see your phone. (Mastique tosses her phone to Kowalski and he dials me) Hello?
Me: (crying tone) Kowalski?
K: Monique, what happened with Officer X?
Me: Kowalski, my anger has come back to haunt me. I don't know how to put this, but you're married to a monster.
K: Why call yourself a monster?
Me: Trust me. You'll fear me once you know. (hangs up and cries)
added by B0XFISH
Source: me
added by BirdG
Source: Fuwa2-Kyar, DeviantArt
added by SJF_Penguin
added by skipperluvs
Source: Don't mess with Penguins
posted by Bluepenguin
- Knock Knock Jokes -

Private is laying in his bunk like a sack of potatoes, bored and lazily watching the clock.
Private: 1:00 P.M.... still two more hours until they show the Lunacorns...
Skipper: Private! For one day can you please not watch those ridiculous moonhorns with their hippie caring powers?!
Private: Aww! But why, Skippa?
Skipper angrily gazes at Private.
Skipper: Private...
Private: Ok, ok! (Sigh)....... ooh! I have an idea! Knock, knock!
Skipper: Who's there?
Private: Vampire!
Skipper: Vampire who?
Private: (Giggle) Vampire State Building! Ahahahaha!
Skipper looks at Private with an "I'm...
continue reading...
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Source: Skipper Makes Perfect
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Source: Penguins of Madagascar Movie
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Source: Penguins of Madagascar Movie
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