When life gives you lemons, make orange juice and leave the world wondering how the heck you did it.
That's just the way the cookie crumbles... All over my clean new shirt.
If at first you don't succeed, destroy everything.
An apple a day can keep any doctor away if you throw it hard enough.
Don't worry if Plan A fails, there's 25 more letters in the alphabet.
Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
Weird? Nah, I prefer the term, "Avant-Garde"
Who says nothing's impossible? I've been doing it for years.
My mother texted me: “What does IDK, LY & TTYL mean?” I answered: “I don’t know, love you, talk to you later.” Mother: “OK, I’ll ask your sister.”
I will not be impressed with technology until I can download food from the internet.
Dear life, when I asked if my day could get any worse, it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.